How do you use a bidet?

[TheClitterati]

I've no idea. Do you face forward or back? Does water get everywhere? Do you dry yourself with loo roll? That seems to defeat the purpose. Is the water cold? Is it nice? Will I get addicted? 😂

I've just booked a holiday in Italy and all the hotel bathrooms have bidets so I'm going to give it a go. But I really don't want to Google instructions- cause yikes!

Please enlighten me Mumsnet!

My friends (in England) had a hose with attachment thing installed on the side of their loo in their fancy new bathrooms. Apparently it's to use like a bidet but on the normal loo. I've never tried it. Water everywhere???

Where I’m from, every loo has either a hose next to it or (fancy) a bidet spray built-in to the loo. With the former, you just bring the business end of the hose to the necessary area, then gradually turn on the tap.

They are great for tired feet

I just need to give it a go!

Google Guy Martin tries out a Japanese Toilet - very funny and informative about automatic bidet toilets in Japan. 🤫 we have one!

This will make you guys smile:
In our previous house, some previous owners installed the tap used for bidets in the washbasin (the house had no bidet).

I quite liked that tap until I realised it was a bidet tap, then it just felt weird.

I was about to start my own thread when I saw this! Couldn't believe the timing.
I'm redoing my shower room and am considering a bidet type toilet or adding a douche attachment next to the toilet.
Does anyone have either of these or any advice on which is better. There's no room for a separate bidet. TIA

I wipe my bum before I get in the shower.

Me too! I'd love to know how the little hose thingies by the loo are, I just picture a watery disaster...

Which is what I also said. Look at what you quoted.

Fair enough.

So the idea is, wipe bum on loo as normal, then use bidet for a proper wash?

You can even get portable ones, obviously without the water jets. DM (Italian), and our family, always had them in our houses. When she went into a care home, we bought her a rigid plastic portable one. Just fill it with water and splash your bits about, the top comes off, and you pour the water away.

Standard fitted bidets do have plug holes too. You can just fill them up, and wash your butt as normal. The little water jets are fun though!

@AnnaMagnani You beat me to it.😀 In our case residual sand.

Also known as a bum gun. They're marvelous! First encountered them on a longish stint working in Finland where they're all over the place including offices.
No, absolutely no flooding. You just use them sitting on the toilet and the hose is long and flexible enough to get up close. I'd live to get one installed at my house!

Exactly! I've just been sitting on the loo trying to work out the logistics 🤣

I've got an electronic one at home and wouldn't be without it. The temp and position are adjustable and you can have a warm air dry as well . Saves on paper !

Thanks @GrumpyPanda
When using the 'bum gun' does the user sit facing forward? And does the hose get directed from the front or back? I'm thinking of making sure dirty bum water doesn't go forwards risking uti ...?

On our bidet, we face forward away from the waterspout . Which is adjustable for volume and whatever temperature you want. We have dedicated bidet towels. No mess.

DH had never used a bidet in his life until we bought this place and could not understand my delighted surprise at finding it on viewing day. (The place had belonged to an old lady; she died, it was sold by her son who wasn't sufficiently bidet-conscious to mention it on the website).

After we moved in DH secetly tried it out "for a laugh" and became an instant total bidet addict. He has piles. I draw a veil.

Also terribly useful for many other purposes... washing wellies and beach shoes, a big soak for potplants.

If they are right next to the loo I find that sitting sideways on the closed toilet with your feet in the bidet is an excellent way to shave your legs .
If you have small DC it’s wise to tell them explicitly what a bidet is for so they dont poo in the “other toilet” - I know this from experience

Weve installed bum guns - water doesn't go everywhere because you are sitting on the loo! You sit back so there is no gap at the back between your bum and the seat and pull the hose with tap to the front, down between your legs and turn on the tap squirting the water to either front bits or back bits.
i wish we had one when i was younger during periods!

we just bought ours from amazon and DH installed them.

It's not "trickling" . Our bidet has a hot/cold monotap, you adjust the flow and temperature. Just like the monotap on its matching hand basin. Only the direction of water is different.

My preference is a powerful constant skoosh of warm water aimed straight at arsehole. Look no hands.

This is brilliant, I've never known. We bought a house with one and it was used to store bath toys. Exh thought it was a foot washer I had to explain and he pulled a funny face

So these bidet towels that have been mentioned for drying ... are they in public toilets & in the home?

Is there one for each family member or is it a communal bidet towel & everyone's drying/rubbing their bits with the same towel as all your family members?

Do guests get given a bidet towel on their way to the loo or do they just share the family crotch drier?

Trying to understand

Thanks @bilbodog
My teen dd is really keen for us to get one particularly as she quite heavy periods. And I think it makes good sense to clean with water rather than just wipe generally.

Also wondering about the towel situation @Straycatblue - surely not shared?? I think I'd use one for shaving my legs, handy for putting your feet up on.