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Original poster

Access to child’s health and education records-need advice before I de register dd due to issues at school

45 replies

ThePersecuted · 09/02/2023 13:42

Dd is in year 4. Has a lot of medical conditions, lots of appointments and lots of time off .

im at my wits end with school! They keep threatening fines and court. They keep threatening ss. No support at all . I’m so close to just pulling her out.

Because of all this I had done a SAR but I’ve barely been given anything and I’m being told I have no right to have certain things (emails to the gp and consultant sent by school) . I managed to obtain one document by chance where they clearly think I’m exaggerating and are concerned- nobody actually speaks to me it’s just Chinese whispers it seems.

How can I ensure I get all the information Im entitled to so I can actually see what I’m dealing with and address it so that everyone can work together for dd rather than not supporting her because they have an issue with me ? Or do I give up walk away and home educate .

OP posts:
Soapboxqueen · 09/02/2023 18:10

There is information that the school (or any organisation) can withhold. The information you are after may be covered by that.

You can make a complaint to the school saying that you don't think they've given you everything or ask why something hasn't been given. They should give you a reason.

You can then/also complain to the ico

ico.org.uk/make-a-complaint/data-protection-complaints/data-protection-complaints/

However, in any event, how will any of the information they hold benefit you? I would assume you have the most information about your child anyway.

The most you will get is evidence that they don't believe your child's illness is as bad as you say or that you are mishandling it. And then what?

They already know what they've said. It's unlikely they'll suddenly change their attitude because you have evidence of what they think.

If the relationship has broken down to this point your options are limp along as you are /change school /HE

Zola1 · 09/02/2023 18:12

Have they actually fined you? Do you give evidence for medical appointments etc? Will your child's paediatrician or specialist write a letter explaining their condition and the impact etc?
Is there any possibility you might be keeping them off when really they could be in?

Hercisback · 09/02/2023 18:13

What do you expect in terms of support?

Why do they think you are making everything up? If they have medical evidence that should be enough. If they don't believe you, that position won't change from a SAR.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Children's health General education General health
Quisquam · 09/02/2023 18:15

Put in SAR requests to the GP and consultant too! As pp has said, I’d complain to the ICO.

BlueBellIris · 09/02/2023 18:35

OP if your concern is you are being portrayed as a Mother who is exaggerating your child's conditions/keeping them off school too much then asking for emails etc won't help. Unfortunately, it is likely to feed into that impression.

You say you want support? Is that getting your child into school more?

If yes is your child under a particular Team/clinician you get on well with? Can they refer your child to some sort of rehab team who might be able to help with this and liaise with school?

I really do sympathise. I have a child with a chronic illness and there is very little support, but lots of "its important to get them into school", but there is no point going in for a fight it just gets peoples backs up.

Johnnysgirl · 09/02/2023 18:37

How do you imagine access to this information will help you? Confused

ArnoldBee · 09/02/2023 18:40

Why don't you just ring SS yourself to see of there is any support that can be provided?

kitcat15 · 09/02/2023 18:42

Self refer for Early Help

kitcat15 · 09/02/2023 18:43

Do school think you are fabricating her illnesses?

Original poster
ThePersecuted · 09/02/2023 19:07

I want the rest of the information to see if the situation is in any way salvageable or if I should quit while I’m ahead and home educate.

They think I’m exaggerating and giving her a sick role to give purpose to my own life.

This literally all started when I requested an EHCP. We’ve given appt letters, clinic letters, gp letters etc. I just want to see all the remaining info and go from there.so far I’ve not seen anything that makes me feel supported or believed.

We haven’t been fined no, they threaten it and court but I told them even if they don’t authorise an absence and try to refer for fines I can get medical evidence to prove it was an absence that should have been authorised and no court will fine

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 09/02/2023 19:16

They think I’m exaggerating and giving her a sick role to give purpose to my own life
I'm fairly sure they haven't said any such thing. You do sound like someone social services might be of some help to.

Cocobutt · 09/02/2023 19:20

Are SS involved?

If the school think you are making illnesses up then I’m surprised they aren’t.

How often is she off poorly?
What is the doctor saying? Do you have a sick note?

BlueBellIris · 09/02/2023 19:23

Johnnysgirl · 09/02/2023 19:16

They think I’m exaggerating and giving her a sick role to give purpose to my own life
I'm fairly sure they haven't said any such thing. You do sound like someone social services might be of some help to.

Who is “they” here the school or clinicians (or both)?

If it’s just school:

Why is the only other option home school? Why couldn’t you move to another school with better support?

is your child under a community paediatrician? Do they support a need for an echp? Have they written to school saying what help your child needs?

You are focusing on emails that may have not or not been sent about you.

You say you want to see emails saying you are supported but even if they don’t why would home schooling make you any more supported?

I would stop focusing on possible emails and what you think your child needs and the best way to get that.

Orangeis · 09/02/2023 19:24

If you genuinely want to move forward in a positive way with the school this probably isn't the best way to do that.
Those letters are automatically sent when you hit certain abscence thresholds aren't they?
Has anyone suggested you are malingering or is it a feeling you get?

Original poster
ThePersecuted · 09/02/2023 19:27

Johnnysgirl · 09/02/2023 19:16

They think I’m exaggerating and giving her a sick role to give purpose to my own life
I'm fairly sure they haven't said any such thing. You do sound like someone social services might be of some help to.

That’s precisely what’s been said ! Why on Earth would I lie !

No SS but they’ve said before ‘if attendance doesn’t improve it will be seen as a safeguarding issue’. They’ve also stated I make appts in school hours despite them asking me not to - the problem there is (and I explained this) is that the relevant clinics don’t have appts out of school hours!

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePersecuted · 09/02/2023 19:28

Orangeis · 09/02/2023 19:24

If you genuinely want to move forward in a positive way with the school this probably isn't the best way to do that.
Those letters are automatically sent when you hit certain abscence thresholds aren't they?
Has anyone suggested you are malingering or is it a feeling you get?

It’s not generic letters it’s one’s for us and meetings

OP posts:
kitcat15 · 09/02/2023 19:29

If a person pulls a child out of school when there is suspected induced and or fabricated illnesses, that is when things will escalate with children services ...a professionals meeting would have already taken, unknown to the parent and professionals will be waiting the parents next move....sometimes 9t fizzles out and it comes to nothing.....sometimes there will be escalation

hiredandsqueak · 09/02/2023 19:29

If you are on Facebook the groups Not Fine in School, Square Peg and Sunshine Support can help you with support with the difficulties you are experiencing. You can complain to ICO if information is being withheld from the SAR. You can also SAR the GP, hospital and LA and get the communication that way as well.

Original poster
ThePersecuted · 09/02/2023 19:31

BlueBellIris · 09/02/2023 19:23

Who is “they” here the school or clinicians (or both)?

If it’s just school:

Why is the only other option home school? Why couldn’t you move to another school with better support?

is your child under a community paediatrician? Do they support a need for an echp? Have they written to school saying what help your child needs?

You are focusing on emails that may have not or not been sent about you.

You say you want to see emails saying you are supported but even if they don’t why would home schooling make you any more supported?

I would stop focusing on possible emails and what you think your child needs and the best way to get that.

Show quote history

Yes school. The reason I wouldn’t move schools is that when I said we might as I didn’t like how I was being spoken to and not supported with the EHCP I was told any concerns are noted and passed on to the new school . I just felt this was a last resort to see if anyone has been supportive or kind or if it’s just a constant stream of not believing me and if so I’ll de register as it’s like fighting doubly hard to 1) get support and 2) be believed and it’s hard enough with a child with additional needs I don’t need professionals behaving like this

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePersecuted · 09/02/2023 19:34

kitcat15 · 09/02/2023 19:29

If a person pulls a child out of school when there is suspected induced and or fabricated illnesses, that is when things will escalate with children services ...a professionals meeting would have already taken, unknown to the parent and professionals will be waiting the parents next move....sometimes 9t fizzles out and it comes to nothing.....sometimes there will be escalation

In some ways I actually wonder if someone genuinely professional should be looking at this and all my evidence and helping us to put an end to this. I’ve really had enough of it. All my energy should be on dd not having to prove myself

OP posts:
Itisbetter · 09/02/2023 19:34

If you want your child in school with an ehcp, for goodness sakes don’t electively home educate. It sounds like school aren’t making either of you feel supported. Have you looked at other schools in the area? How far into the ehcp process are you?

UpYaJumper · 09/02/2023 19:35

Schools don’t just decide out of thin air that a parent is fabricating illness. If they have genuinely said this and referred to social care, they must have significant concerns.

What have social care said? Are they working with you?

Original poster
ThePersecuted · 09/02/2023 19:38

UpYaJumper · 09/02/2023 19:35

Schools don’t just decide out of thin air that a parent is fabricating illness. If they have genuinely said this and referred to social care, they must have significant concerns.

What have social care said? Are they working with you?

No they haven’t referred . It’s just pages of gossip and what they think could be going on. It’s horrible 😞

OP posts:
BlueBellIris · 09/02/2023 19:39

OP you need to focus on getting an EHCP and not about obtaining emails.

I would recommend you contact IPSEA they are fantastic charity and can assist with EHCPs.

Noonesperfect · 09/02/2023 19:39

Oh OP I really feel for you. So many schools are only interested in bloody metrics! They don't want your child off upsetting their metric tables of attendance. If I was you, I would keep a diary of every time she is not in school and any evidence to back that up. You could speak to your local Education authority to discuss what's happening . If the school are worried about attendance they should have referred you to the education welfare officer. Have they done this? If so what did she say? Schools can be very difficult with children with special needs (I have experienced this unfortunately) - really feel for you OP Flowers