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Original poster

DS Uni dilemma- moving away vs staying at home

63 replies

Undercover11 · 09/02/2023 11:50

DS is 18 and got his offers from university. There is the uni local to us which is rated about 60th in the country in the league tables. It’s still a very good university and I went there myself and I had a great time. He also has an offer from a Russel group uni which is very prestigious in a city about 2 hours away from us. My (and his) dilemma is: while an RG university will be highly rated academically will it actually help him career wise? Moving away will be very costly and would mean we would have to use the money we have saved for a house deposit for him. Would he get the same student experience if he lived at home. Going to an RG would be a doubled edged sword as it would mean that he would have to work incredibly hard to get the grades to meet his offer and also in order to get a 2:1 it would mean a lot of hard work whereas at our local uni he could probably get a first and it would be a lot less work and pressure for him. So I guess I would ask what are the pros and cons of each opinion. DS (and myself) are unsure.

OP posts:
MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 09/02/2023 14:50

ArcticSkewer · 09/02/2023 14:33

Nonsense, and if you worked in a low ranking uni you would understand why.

Externals come from similar institutions. It's not like Oxford are working with Oxford Brookes and making sure their firsts are of similar standard.

Show quote history

Sorry but no, external examiners are appointed to mirror the qualities and demands of the university programmes they are dealing with.

My friend attended one not very remarkable Uni in England, I attended a RG, her final dissertation was more basic than one of my module’s essay. We both got a first… but she felt a bit shortchanged when she saw the level
of the work we were producing, regardless of the equal grades she was working at a much lower level.

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 09/02/2023 14:51

Sorry Arctic, my response was for the person you quoted! 🙂

The one who said an A in a good or bad institution were at the same level.

2bazookas · 09/02/2023 15:11

Going to an RG would be a doubled edged sword as it would mean that he would have to work incredibly hard to get the grades to meet his offer and also in order to get a 2:1 it would mean a lot of hard work whereas at our local uni he could probably get a first and it would be a lot less work

Oh, definitely take the easy way, less effort, less work. Employers much prefer laid back slackers who do just enough to get by; over ambitious dedicated strivers who pull out all the stops.

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18 years old Higher education
StillWantingADog · 10/02/2023 10:21

Would he get the same student experience if he lived at home.

Absolutely no he would not. It's not the only thing to consider though, obviously finances is a biggie.

In your shoes I'd encourage him to go to the well rated uni 2 hours away. I doesn't sound like your local uni is particularly well regarded these days and therefore the degree won't carry as much weight. I'd almost always consider a 2i degree from an RG uni better than a 1st from a less well regarded one - some exceptions will exist for very specialist subjects

MrsCropleysCookbook · 10/02/2023 10:31

There's also something about living with a bunch of people you don't know that can be useful in later life.

Yes, if only to remind you that you never again want live with a bunch of people you don’t know!

WolfingGames · 10/02/2023 10:49

Move away, if he doesn't like it he can always transfer back home.

I agree with the sentiment that staying at home is like extending sixth form. Re finances he can learn to live frugally to save the money for his future house deposit. He will learn to budget. He doesn't have to blow all the savings. Have a look at accommodation costs for the RG uni and yes I do think it matters, not the RG bit but the ranking and where you got your degree from for the future.

@AnnPerkins late 80s meant less than 20% went to uni, now it is 50%. Dc1 plans to move back home after graduating as his hopeful graduate salary will allow him to save toward a future house deposit. But he will have lived away for 3 years just like I did and Dh did. Uni is a fantastic experience for being responsible for yourself, but not really, meeting people from all over the world and other walks of life. I loved it.

Young people tend to live at home for much longer these days due to the ridiculous house prices that will see them struggle to get on the housing ladder.

FrenchandSaunders · 10/02/2023 10:58

DD moved about 2.5 hours away for uni at 18, graduated last year and ended up getting a job in her uni city and staying there (renting). It really has been life changing for her. She's grown hugely in confidence, made tons of friends and had a blast.

AnnPerkins · 10/02/2023 11:01

@WolfingGames Absolutely. Both DH and I feel that, even though it was much easier in those days to move out and live independently, we have been hugely disadvantaged throughout our lives by not going to university. But nobody we knew did go, apart from friends who went to private school.

Anyway, I don't want to derail the thread. DS will go to the university best suited to him and we will find a way to afford it.

emmathedilemma · 10/02/2023 11:02

I think is cost is an issue then you should have had that discussion before he applied! I agree with PP, part of the uni experience is growing up and moving away from home. You definitely would not get the same experience living at home.

Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 10/02/2023 11:18

some families genuinely can't support a child going away to uni the loan companies take no account of number of children still at home or parents expenses, it is no use if they say your parents should be able to give £3000 if your parents with best will in the world simply don't have £3000 spare

MargaretThursday · 10/02/2023 12:07

It's much better for them to get away. It's hard for them to mix properly if they don't have the halls experience in the first year. I'd go for away unless there were health or other issues that made that a bad idea.

OntarioBagnet · 10/02/2023 12:11

SparklyTwinkleGlitter · 09/02/2023 13:49

A First is the same level regardless of University. That's why Universities employ external examiners from other Universities on their exam boards to ensure parity across the sector, so suggesting that it's easier to obtain a First at a less well rated University is nonsense.

I say this as an ex HoD at a Russell Group University.

You beat me to it. All university degrees should be of the same standard when it comes to grades and are regulated to try and ensure this. So he should have to work just as hard at the local uni to achieve a 1st as he'd need to at the RG one. My SLT were going nuts at me last year as I had a high number of students who got 1sts and they said if the trend carries on then the course might be stopped. 🙄

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