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Original poster

Advice for daughter not washing conditioner out of her hair - always looks greasy

29 replies

purplepandas · 09/02/2023 09:13

I feel silly posting this but I don't know what to advise. DD13 washes her hair but I am sure she leaves conditioner in it as even post wash it is lank and feels like it is full of product. This happens as soon as it dries so it can't be it getting greasy very quickly as it can't be that quick!

I can't wash it for her obviously so am a bit stuck as she tells me she spends ages getting it out. The length of her showers would support this!

Any ideas of switching shampoo/conditioner etc?

Feels silly but her hair is always not nice and I worry someone will say something. She is not in a good place atm either and very anxious. We have had to get school help from SENCO and more. I have to tread carefully.

Thanks

OP posts:

CatOnTheChair · 09/02/2023 09:22

Does she need the conditioner?
I rarely used it as a tean/young adult, as it made my hair horrid. I would describe it as slimy, but I'm sure other descriptors could apply.

WeWereInParis · 09/02/2023 09:23

Is she maybe just using too much?

AreBearsCatholic · 09/02/2023 09:24

Get her leave-in conditioner to use of the ends only after she gets out.

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Isahlo · 09/02/2023 09:24

Shampoo twice with head and shoulders then use a spray leave in conditioner at the end xx

Inastatus · 09/02/2023 09:24

Tell her not to apply it to the scalp, just the ends.

Isheabastard · 09/02/2023 09:26

I’m old enough that as a teenager conditioner wasn’t a thing. Id suggest she just leave out the conditioner and see how it goes.

Or use a 2-1 shampoo and conditioner.

Ive had a similar conversation with my Dd who is now an adult and lives away. She says it only happens when she uses our shower. I find it most puzzling.

From a young age my mum said that my hair seemed to be difficult to get wet (I know I don’t really understand it either). But I also use a lot of hairspray. So I shampoo twice to make sure it’s all gone.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 09/02/2023 09:26

She needs to apply shampoo twice and rinse well before applying conditioner and then rinse that well too. Lots of people don't wash twice. Perhaps you could suggest washing her hair for her in the sink - tell her you have a new shampoo to try out (in fact buy a new shampoo so you are not lying) so she lets you have a go first.

Pixiedust1234 · 09/02/2023 09:26

Some conditioners are harder to rinse out so try changing either the brand or type. She also may be putting too much on, she only needs a small blob and run it through the ends of her hair, not the roots or scalp. Some people don't need conditioner. I last used one in 1977.

Upfartooearly · 09/02/2023 09:27

If you think she actively isn’t washing it out (rather than rinsing it badly) could you get her to try a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner?

WeCome1 · 09/02/2023 09:27

Inastatus · 09/02/2023 09:24

Tell her not to apply it to the scalp, just the ends.

This. Just the hair that would go in a ponytail.

Gossipxox · 09/02/2023 09:27

how often does she wash her hair? Tell her to condition it every other time. Also dry shampoo will help if it looks greasy

flowerbob · 09/02/2023 09:28

I have a DD(11) with additional needs and I've taken the conditioner out of the bathroom because she has such fine hair and it's only shoulder length so she doesn't need it but thinks she does! I've bought the Aussie leave in conditioner spray and I put a bit of that in for her if she asks and her hair looks lovely again now.

minipie · 09/02/2023 09:29

Many teenagers don’t need conditioner as they’re producing plenty of natural oils. I agree with stopping conditioner and getting a spray in one (Aussie is nice) for if her hair seems dry. Good luck to her, age 13 is not a barrel of laughs.

hedgehoglurker · 09/02/2023 09:30

Do you have soft water? This may make it a bit harder for her to rinse out thoroughly. Agree with pp that a lighter conditioner should be tried.

SirVixofVixHall · 09/02/2023 09:31

She might also not be applying her shampoo to the roots ? It is easy to sort of lather up the lengths but not really get into the roots at the top.
Is her hair long ? One of my dds has long hair and sometimes shampoo or conditioner hasn’t rinsed out. I helped her wash it and we worked out that when she has her head upside down to shampoo, the water runs over the outside but it wasn’t getting to the roots at the front and top. (If your dd shampoos while standing in the shower then this won’t apply).
My dd only puts conditioner on the lower half of her lengths now, as she finds otherwise it is hard to rinse out well. Her hair is fine and isn’t coloured or heat treated so doesn’t need conditioner every time anyway.

BabyBecka · 09/02/2023 09:32

DD is the same
I think it's also something to do with the hair drying flat on her scalp. She combs it down and lets it dry and it looks worse. On the occasion that I can convince her to comb it up off the scalp before letting it dry it looks so much better.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 09/02/2023 09:33

Does your daughter have very thick hair? Mine struggled with this for a while and the things that helped were switching to Head & Shoulders, getting some layers in her haircut so it wasn’t quite so thick and investing in one of these so that she was really getting through the hair to the scalp

www.lookfantastic.com/boucleme-scalp-massager/12559647.html

HashtagShitShop · 09/02/2023 09:35

Would a change of shower head help to one of those that have those little pebbles in that filter it? How is the water pressure? I also agree with taking the conditioner out the bathroom.

Can you get a clarifying shampoo and wash with that and just that at least a couple of times to remove buildup? And perhaps get a hair cut to chop the ends off her hair to see if that helps? Perhaps dress it up as a mother daughter thing to do together as I note you said she isn't in a great place.

SomethingAboutNothing · 09/02/2023 09:36

I had this once when I was a bit younger than your DD (so many moons ago!). My mum was insistent that I hadn't washed it out properly, so she tried washing my hair and it was the same, I think it was a build up of product in my hair so we switched shampoo and conditioner and it fixed it. Maybe try one that's designed to remove build up?

Theunamedcat · 09/02/2023 09:37

I have this so what I do is I damp the hair put the conditioner on to work then when he showers he washes the conditioner OUT when he shampoos it seems to work well all I need to do now is get him to shampoo his scalp area and we will be sorted 😟

Theunamedcat · 09/02/2023 09:38

You could also make up a jug of cider vinegar and water for the final rince

WeeM · 09/02/2023 09:39

If she tries it without conditioner and it’s still like this I would check the shampoo and if it has panthenol in - my hair goes like this if I use any shampoo that has it. Looks like I’ve not washed it for a week! I tend to only buy silicone free ones now and have settled on a shampoo bar now.

Mrsjayy · 09/02/2023 09:39

AreBearsCatholic · 09/02/2023 09:24

Get her leave-in conditioner to use of the ends only after she gets out.

This.will stop her slapping it on . You don't need conditioner on your scalp especially not as a teenager.

OMGIShotMyEyeOut · 09/02/2023 10:19

Shampoo strips the hair of natural oils, causing your scalp to produce more oil, leading to greasy hair. Some ingredients are worse than others. If you could get her a low poo shampoo and conditioner it would be a good start (if you're not sure what that is google it, there's lots of advice on what products to use). The first time you use the low poo you need to clarify the hair with a sulfate shampoo - alberto balsam tee tree tingle is fine. Use this only on the first wash, then use the low poo conditioner, then next wash use both low poo. If her hair is greasy/lank she could well need a protein deep condition. Again find a low poo one. Look on Google to see what the symptoms of over moisturised hair are. Another thing to take into consideration is that the more you wash your hair the quicker it will get greasy, so don't wash every day, at most every other day, and if it's not looking greasy then don't wash it!

Conditioner is not necessarily the thing making her hair look greasy, I only wash with conditioner and my hair doesn't look greasy.

TootsAtOwls · 09/02/2023 10:28

Could it be that the shampoo isn't strong enough? I had this when I was using oils as a pre-shampoo treatment, I thought I was getting it all out but I obviously wasn't as my hair would look greasy when it was freshly washed. I had to use a clarifying shampoo to get it really clean.

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