Neighbour

[Nctotalkaboutmyneighbour]

Just need to put this somewhere because I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.

I'll try to cut a long story short.

Me, DP and 3 DC moved to a new area a year ago. It's a council house (might be relevant as we can't afford to just move or buy our own house).

Neighbours are all nice, apart from my NDN. She's never acknowledged us. We've tried to say hello when we've seen her out or in the garden etc and she'll ignore us. We do the school run, I've let on once when she was walking with her DSis and she sort of grunted at me then as soon as she passed, made a loud heaving/wretching noise. Since then she won't look at me, but will happily talk other parents.

We bought new fences for the back garden as soon as we moved in as it was overgrown with privets etc, the fence has benefitted us and 3 other neighbours. We got the all clear from housing & neighbours first. (NDN's DP ok'd the fence).
We paid for it, didn't ask any neighbours to contribute. Two sets of neighbours were so appreciative and one even gave some money towards the cost, which was nice.
Horrible neighbour sent one of her DPs friends round less than 24hours into starting the fence to find out when we're doing her side because 'she wants it done now'.
Anyway the fences got done and she's not once acknowledged or thanked us. Whatever.

Thought that might have broken the ice tbh but obviously not.

Anyway, sorry this is becoming a long story.

They party nearly every weekend, until the early hours. Me & DP were going to bed, window open when we heard NDNs dog barking outside. Then she shouts ......SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BLCK FCKER.

So now it's quite obvious that she's racist.
(Dp is black, my children are mixed race)

We've overheard her say awful things about disabled people, she treats her DD like shit (social are involved) , she'll call her DD a cow, a dick head, bitch etc.

I don't even know what I want from the thread, I just needed to tell someone.

I feel awful, angry and hopeless that, especially my DC and DP have to live next to this vile woman and theres not really anything we can do😞

@Nsky62 She was friends/friendly with the previous 2 sets of neighbours before us

Calling the dog a “black fucker” has extremely racist undertones. OP you should definitely report this, in case the racism escalates which it sounds like it might.

Have as little to do with this awful woman as possible.

But BaroldBalonz you did make me laugh 😂

Sounds like she is a massive racist and is having a not so subtle dig at your family keep a log and ignore her unless or sadly until she escalates it to something obvious and reportable as a racist incident / hate crime.

I should've ended that sentence with - by my angry white neighbour.
I get that they'll hear the word sooner or later, it just seems different it being in a song compared to her shouting singing it.

@DragonsFurry @AnchorWHAT
Thanks for your replies, I was starting to doubt myself reading some of the comments about racism to a dog 😩

If you talk to your HO, they will have heard it all before, even shouting racist abuse 'at the dog'. Its called 'under the radar bullying'. You're not imagining it.

Reference the music.

I think if she was saying all the words and not just that 1 specific word you could almost let it slide. It is the words after all. As a hip hop fan I personally wouldnt, especially if my neighbor was black/mixed race

Her shouting out what she did at the dog could be considered racist if it was done with the intention of you hearing it and the vomit sound she made seems like like an obvious insult I'd be inclined to associate with her dislike of you having a black partner, so those incidents I think I'd be looking at reporting but It's not white rap artists making these records, is it? I'm afraid you can't make a point of reclaiming the N word in rap music but only want certain races to use it. It doesn't work like that. My guess would be that she does seem to have a problem with your relationship and you are never going to be friends. The problem is that reporting these incidents will make the relationship as neighbours even more unbearable for you because she isn't going to change. It shouldn't be this way but can you continue loving where you live as if she didn't exist and focus on the neighbours who treat you with kindness and respect?

If she was shouting at the dog, it wasn't a racist comment. She sounds thoroughly unpleasant, though. Best to ignore her, say/do nothing, don't let her bother you. Horrible people like that usually get their comeuppance. I feel sorry for her children.

Hi Op

It's passive aggressive racism and she is a deeply unpleasant thick as outdoor toilet, person for you to have misfortune to live next door to,

It's rascim by proxy

She says unpleasant racist nature sounding words in such a way, so it's not blatantly obvious that it's directed at your family,

Which it definitely is,

It's sly underhand manipulative way of getting away with being racist,

@Thelnebriati

I totally agree with your comment "under the rader bullying with racism over tones , with this,

She sounds vile. Much sympathy to you.

Video what you can. But try to ignore. That type is too far gone to reason with.

I'd complain, given the tax payer is funding her she can at least be a decent member of society! Absolutely disgusting, I'm sorry OP you have such scum for a neighbour

What do you mean the tax payer is subsidising her? Council tenants pay rent.