Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How did he get a photo from my phone?!

76 replies

WhatsNewPussyCatty · 07/02/2023 02:03

Posting here for traffic as there's not much on the more techy board on Mumsnet.

Last night, i noticed that DH's phone's screensaver picture is a photo that I took a few months ago which I didn't share with him. I definitely didn't share it, I checked.

I can't imagine how he got hold of it. My photos are not synced with any other phones, I don't have an apple account as I don't have an apple phone (he does, but I don't), and my phone account isn't in the cloud.

Checking my settings hasn't brought anything to light. I'm not very technically minded, unfortunately i rely on DH to sort these things out for me.

I feel a bit sickened.

Is there anyone techy out there who can tell me how this has happened and how I can stop this happening in the future please?

TIA

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Merlott · 07/02/2023 02:18

Your husband?

Is there a backstory of why you don't want him seeing your photos?

If he can unlock your phone then he can take a picture of it with his phone, or pair via Bluetooth.

CassieMc · 07/02/2023 02:19

Can't you just ask him if he's been on your phone and see his reaction? Only explanation I can think of really as to how he's got the picture. Maybe you could change your password?
Not sure I would be so bothered though, if I seen a picture on my partners phone that I'd taken on my phone. I'd just ask outright personally.

CraneBoysMysteries · 07/02/2023 02:21

I think the obvious answer is he got it from your phone. But you say you are sickened by this which is a big reaction without more context

People obviously have different boundaries in their relationships. Myself and my DH use each others phones to take photos, make phone calls etc. he actually also has a screensaver of a photo I took of our DS. I did show it to him on my phone but I didn't send it to him. So he obviously likes it and used my phone to send it to himself.

My reaction however is that it's cute he likes the photo and now he has a lovely photo of our DS and a duck on his screen.

But as I say, the context and boundaries of your relationship sound like they are very different

Kinneddar · 07/02/2023 02:29

I feel a bit sickened

Seems a strange reaction

Why not just ask him how he got it

Original poster
WhatsNewPussyCatty · 07/02/2023 02:39

I feel a bit sickened because I have about 20 photos saved of my developing alopecia on my phone. They've been taken over a period of about 2 years. I don't want him seeing these. The alopecia is not obvious from the way I style my hair dail. Although my hair definitely looks thinner, people cannot see the actual bald spots. DH knows I've got alopecia, and is sympathetic, but I don't want him seeing close ups of my bald spots.

I'd assumed that my phone was my safe space to save my private/sensitive pictures.

If he's had access to the photo I saw on his phone could he also see whatever other of my photos he likes?

OP posts:
sashh · 07/02/2023 02:49

Most phones have NFC - putting the phones back to back with NFC turned on you can transfer photos.

CrescentMoons · 07/02/2023 02:49

So he forwarded it on, sent it in a message, email etc or you have photo sharing etc on the iPad etc.

have you asked him?

is you phone protected? Could he have tried the same image?

could you have posted it on your social media and he has saved it.

ask first …

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/02/2023 02:52

WhatsNewPussyCatty · 07/02/2023 02:39

I feel a bit sickened because I have about 20 photos saved of my developing alopecia on my phone. They've been taken over a period of about 2 years. I don't want him seeing these. The alopecia is not obvious from the way I style my hair dail. Although my hair definitely looks thinner, people cannot see the actual bald spots. DH knows I've got alopecia, and is sympathetic, but I don't want him seeing close ups of my bald spots.

I'd assumed that my phone was my safe space to save my private/sensitive pictures.

If he's had access to the photo I saw on his phone could he also see whatever other of my photos he likes?

If he has been looking at your pics, he may not realise how you feel. I think you should have a conversation with him about it.

rattlemehearties · 07/02/2023 03:02

Is your phone locked or password protected? You should probably ensure it is for security anyway. He would have simply sent the photo to himself while looking at your phone. Can't you just ask him?

CraneBoysMysteries · 07/02/2023 03:33

It sounds like you need to have a conversation with him about how you feel as he's probably unaware.

I think unless you e established that you don't want him to have access to your phone then this sounds pretty innocent-worth a conversation

Also if you have an iPhone you can hide photos and it saves them in a hidden album. I once did this for weight loss photos

support.apple.com/en-gb/HT205891

GloriousGoosebumps · 07/02/2023 04:41

Given that you say you're not very technically minded and rely on your dh to sort out these things for you, isn't it likely that he got your passcode while setting up your phone or sorting out a problem for you? Assuming that's the explanation, I would be asking him why he thinks that the fact you gave him the code so he could sort out a problem means it's acceptable to go into your phone anytime he choses? I would also be changing my passcode and sorting out my settings to ensure he can't get into my phone. You're entitled to your privacy.

BadNomad · 07/02/2023 04:47

Just ask him. Whichever way he has done it, I doubt he thinks it's a bad thing or he wouldn't have used it so openly as a screensaver. Then people will be able to tell you if it sounds realistic or not.

Sandysandwich · 07/02/2023 05:45

Do you have google photos?
My mum didn't realise she did and all photos that are taken are copied to the account automatically. It is not hard to sign in to someone elses- especially if you know their usual passwords or they have signed into their email on your phone before?

frenchnoodle · 07/02/2023 06:01

Your photos may be backing themselves up to Google drive and both of you use the same account.

neurodiverge · 07/02/2023 06:41

Sandysandwich · 07/02/2023 05:45

Do you have google photos?
My mum didn't realise she did and all photos that are taken are copied to the account automatically. It is not hard to sign in to someone elses- especially if you know their usual passwords or they have signed into their email on your phone before?

Same with my mum

similarminimer · 07/02/2023 06:44

Are you sure you didnt whatssapp it to him?

Aposterhasnoname · 07/02/2023 06:49

How does he even know the photo existed?

AltitudeCheck · 07/02/2023 07:06

I can understand your sensitivity around the photos of your hair loss but if he hasn't been made aware of it he may not realise how upsetting you find the thought of him seeing those pictures are.

Just a word of caution, if my partner suddenly became very protective of their phone, changed passwords and 'banned' me from using it or had 'private' photo folders (if we'd previously been the type to share each others phones) I'd definitely be suspicious as to why!

You can download a photo vault app to store private pictures more securely if you are still happy with him having access to the rest of your phone.

ladymacbeth · 07/02/2023 07:08

There are a lot of ways of sending a photo that aren't by text - what do you mean when you say you've checked and it wasn't shared with him?

and29ineachleapyear · 07/02/2023 07:12

Just ask him.

ApolloandDaphne · 07/02/2023 07:17

and29ineachleapyear · 07/02/2023 07:12

Just ask him.

I agree. Just ask him where he got his screen saver photo. He is your husband not a random man.

NerrSnerr · 07/02/2023 07:24

I agree with the others. He's your husband so you just need to talk to him.

WonderingWanda · 07/02/2023 07:37

The worrying thing here is that you noticed the photo but seem unable to just say 'How did this get on your phone?'.

I agree with you that your phone should be your private space. My dh and my kids know my pin but would not under any circumstances unlock my phone without my permission.

What do you think is going to happen if you confront him about it? What if he did unlock your phone and snoop, how will you deal with that? What do you think is going to happen if he knows how bad your alopecia is? It sounds a little like you need to be confident in your own boundaries and stop being worried about him and his reactions.

JorisBonson · 07/02/2023 08:14

You won't know unless you ask him. If he's got it as his screensaver he's not hiding it.

nxa · 07/02/2023 08:19

What is the photo? Are you sure it's not a photo he took too (e.g. a sunset, a dog, etc)

Could it be that you took the photo on his phone?

Have you sent this photo to someone else who may have sent it on?

I think we need more context.

Swipe left for the next trending thread