How did he get a photo from my phone?!

[WhatsNewPussyCatty]

Posting here for traffic as there's not much on the more techy board on Mumsnet.

Last night, i noticed that DH's phone's screensaver picture is a photo that I took a few months ago which I didn't share with him. I definitely didn't share it, I checked.

I can't imagine how he got hold of it. My photos are not synced with any other phones, I don't have an apple account as I don't have an apple phone (he does, but I don't), and my phone account isn't in the cloud.

Checking my settings hasn't brought anything to light. I'm not very technically minded, unfortunately i rely on DH to sort these things out for me.

I feel a bit sickened.

Is there anyone techy out there who can tell me how this has happened and how I can stop this happening in the future please?

TIA

Just tell him you’ve got photos of your conditions progress and you don’t want him to look at them? He loves you, surely he won’t look if you explain?

If he using it as his screensaver he isn't being secretive, so why can't you just ask?

Have a chat with him. Ask him and make him aware how you feel

Why are you worried about asking him?

Most people wouldn’t be - they’d just ask. So do you have other concerns around privacy, aside from the alopecia pictures? Is he likely to react badly to being asked?

If its an android phone your photos can be kept on the photos section of your google account and then viewed from any other device you are logged into via google.

Apple iCloud or Google phone? Does he pay the bills, control the network? He can also see your internet search history.

What sort of pic is it? Are you sure he didn’t take his own photo of the same scene at time when you were both together?

Your reaction is ott, it's your husband not some random at work. Even if you do have alopecia he can see your head, he lives with you I assume. I used to nearby share photos (click of a button) with my husband, you can also quite easily email or use one of those file sharing websites to upload/download files. We just have a shared cloud storage for ease now, I can see what my husband is photographing and vice versa in real time, I'm married to him, I shouldn't have secrets from him, not exactly the foundations for a great marriage keeping secrets.

If a man did this mumsnet would scream affair and be egging the woman on to go snooping through messages and pictures, never fails to amaze me this website when the tables are turned. It would be much easier just to speak to your husband rather than being weird and cagey over your phone. Who would think to act like this in real life?

Have you sent that pic to anyone else ? Put it on social media? .if you have a Google drive it will back up to there

I feek you are massively over reacting. Ask him?

Just ask him. You're married to him.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just ask, and I don’t understand why you wouldn’t share your feelings over your condition with him either. If he’s your husband that’s usually loving and supportive he’s not about to turn around and call you disgusting etc. It’s an extreme overreaction to feel sickened about any of this.

Why wouldn't you ask him? In our house it would gl

"Dude, how'd you get that photo I took?"
"i did X etc"
"Rude! That's copyrighted, you owe me £2. Also, please don't go through my photos, I like to keep all the willy pics of my very many men and you'll get jealous"
"Rude."

Unless there is a massive backstory it is really strange that you have not just asked him.

Well, then, I would assume that there is a backstory! They usually is but it doesn't mean that she should have posted it right from the start.

In a totally normal relationship you'd just ask him how he got it, wouldn't you?

'Oh, how did you get that picture? I didn't think I'd sent it to you'.

Just ask him ffs and stop being dramatic.

Thanks for all those responses so far i really appreciate it.

My OP was primarily seeking advice as I want to be able to sort my privacy settings independently so that I have control over my own devices. I don't want to go running to DH for help every time I need it. Also, my concern is if DH can get hold of photos from my phone, can my teenage kids do the same? In addition to the pictures I already mentioned I've also got screen shots of a private nature: important paperwork for my DM and DB I'm helping out with and other sensitive things that I keep for ease of reference as I need to quickly open files and discuss them if, for instance, my DM's health practitioner calls me, etc. I won't bore you by listing everything. My DH is not known for his discretion (even on his own private matters sometimes - he simply cannot help himself!!@), so although he is aware of what is going on with my DM & DB he doesn't know all the ins and outs. Most things on my phone I'm fine about being seen by my family, but there are certainly some things which are for my eyes only due to their sensitivity. I certainly am not up to anything sordid, I've neither the time not the inclination!

In answer to some of your questions:

• @Merlott Can I prevent my phone being paired on Bluetooth without my knowledge

• @ssash What is NFC? Some kind of sharing method? Again, can I set up my privacy to avoid this?

• @rattlemehearties @GloriousGoosebumps Yes, my phone has a passcode. I do change it regularly so I doubt DH knows my current code. He did know some of my old ones, but I don't keep updating him. He has got my passcodes to my laptop and he's welcome to look at whatever he wants on there.

• @CraneBoysMysteries - love your username! No, I don't have an iPhone I'm on android

• @Sandysandwich Yes, I am on Google photos but when I checked it didn't have the photo in question. I was surprised by what WAS on it though. However, I must have disabled the automatic syncing as my photos have not been shared on there for ages

• @frenchnoodle Our googledrive accesses are separate. I'm not even sure he's got googledrive. He doesn't trust Google fullstop.

• @AltitudeCheck he is 100% aware that I have alopecia and he knows I feel very sensitive about it. He also knew I had photos which I've taken to keep a record of its progress. He knows I don't want him to see the photos and I've explained why. He doesn't agree that he shouldn't see it, but reluctantly accepts that's how i want it.

• @maddy68 I didn't share the picture with anyone on social media or with anyone anywhere else (email, WhatsApp, etc).

Some of you have guessed that I am concerned he will react badly if I ask. This is highly probable, yes. Either that or he'll be evasive. This is why I can't "just ask him" - if that was an option I would of course have done this. I wish i could. Anyway, I deal with his moods in my own way and I don't want relationship advice if that's OK please? What I would LOVE to get from this thread is to become more empowered with my own device.

Thank you those who have commented and helped so far, if anyone else has any insights I would be so grateful hearing from you. And particular thanks to those who recognise I'm entitled to some privacy on my own phone.

Are you certain you didn't take the photo on his phone? I often take pics on DHs camera if it happens to be closer.

@determinedtomakethiswork Correct - thank you so much.

All I was hoping to get from this thread was advice on how to tighten up my phone security.

I'm a bit surprised that a question like that deserves some of the angry responses ive seen on here!

Have you got an Apple TV or an iPad that you all use but is signed in via your Apple ID? I realised recently that the bloody Apple TV has all my photos in it! Soon managed to disable it though.

Have you somehow WhatsApped it to him? Sent it to him accidentally with other photos via airdrop?

@WhatsNewPussyCatty
If you go into your phones Settings, then Device Connections (or whatever it's called on your phone, mines a Sony), then Connection Preferences, you can turn off NFC and Bluetooth.

Also check that there are no casting/Bluetooth options that drag down from the top of your screen (see screenshot) as these can be used without unlocking the phone.

If there are casting/Bluetooth/NFC icons on that pull down menu, press the little pen picture (bottom left on my phone) and you can drag them down to remove them. This doesn't delete them from the phone, it just means you have to unlock the phone and go into settings to use them.

Screenshots of before and after pressing the pen.

Exactly this. Or iCloud. All my photos get backed up automatically.
My Amazon photo back-up even displays photos on my TV when it is on stand-by. Someone could easily take a photo of the TV screen.

@benten54
Have you got an Apple TV or an iPad that you all use but is signed in via your Apple ID? I realised recently that the bloody Apple TV has all my photos in it! Soon managed to disable it though. No, I don't have Apple ID on my phone and we don't use a shared ipad.

Have you somehow WhatsApped it to him? No, I've checked my messages and theres no record of this. Sent it to him accidentally with other photos via airdrop? I don't know how to do this! Can I check if I did that accidentally in my history somewhere?