Parents of primary school children who work long hours - how does it work?

[NewMum0305]

My little one will be starting reception in September and as my husband and I work until around 5.30, we’ll need to be using some kind of wraparound care. But I can’t quite work out how it will work in practice in terms of things like homework (when she’s a bit older)? Do we squeeze it in between getting home and bed, bearing in mind she’ll need food as well? Or save it all for the weekends?

For those who use wraparound care with younger primary age children who get homework, what is your routine like and how do you fit everything in?

In primary school we only did homework at weekends. The teacher got a note explaining that homework during the week was not realistic for a knackered kid, given homework is not linked to performance at primary school. Get a few parents in class to write the same note, teacher soon sees sense.

We only had Reading and spelling homework at KS1. We always read a book at bedtime (sometime in the bath!) and we’d do a longer session at the weekend. We always did spelling in the morning before school.

Our wrap around collection time was 5.30 to 6pm. It was only toast and fruit for a snack. We had a lot of slow cooker and batch cooked meals.

It does seem impossible at first but you get good at juggling.

We have always prioritised reading. None of the other homework gets done.

Now he's a bit older he does the tt rockstars work in the car using the app.

That would make no difference in the school where I teach. We have to set homework according to school policy.

Every time we've tried to reduce homework we get loads of complaints from parents!

That will make a difference and will be good if she wants to have play dates after school! That was always the trouble when we worked long hours.

Thank you all, this is really helpful, if only just to know I wasn’t overthinking it. My daughter loves reading with us so that won’t be an issue I don’t think.

Hopefully between my day off on Fridays and the weekends, and her love for reading we can make it work.

Hats off to those of you fitting in homework in the morning - my little one is like a teenager, doesn’t want to get out of bed, especially in the winter!

Ours just had reading and maybe spellings (can’t remember) in infants - there wasn’t too much, and if there was more sometimes, it could be done at the weekend.

I used to collect from the child minders at 5.30 and they’d had their dinner there already, which really helped. Though they always wanted more. Stick to super easy things during the week.

By the time they were getting more homework, they could do some at the CM’s. And usually it was ok to do most at the weekend or as they got older and had more, when they got back home.

Oh yes, we always did reading with them at bedtime (heard them read then read to them).

Single parent here.

DS is now in high school but our primary routine for years was 3 days with a childminder, 2 days WFH.

Childminder days:

Drop DS to childminder at 7:15am

Commute via train & arrive at work by 9am

Collect DS at 6.30pm. Childminder provides a home cooked meal.

Then go home, give DS a bath and lots of cuddles/stories. Bedtime for 7.30/8pm.

2 WFH days: swimming and beavers

I told the school absolutely no homework will be done, and our limited time after school will be spent connecting/playing/reading stories.

Weekends was learning through play rather than the boring worksheets sent home from school.

Wellbeing and connection comes first.

I work my part time hours over 5 days which allows me to pick up at the end of the school day twice a week and then by 4.30pm ish on the other days. We use after school club and my Mum helps too. My dd5 gets two reading books a week plus homework. We read most nights and homework at weekends. They are tired when first starting at school so there is only so much you can cram in to an evening. She's a September baby so older in the school year and its just recently she's started to cope better with it all. I definitely think finishing in time to pick up twice a week has been a good decision. I have a dd9 too and she could cope till later at wrap around care but she would prefer not to go at all!

DH and I both work full time and it was very hectic with primary aged children. (Before lockdown and work from home). DH had a shorter commute and he did pick ups from both nursery and childminder. He then did homework with DC1. I came home and did dinner. It's only doable because both of us had very fixed hours.

It is much better then we both mostly work from home! The homework actually needs more supervision once they got older, from about year 6.

After school club, collect 5.30pm, quick tea (not a family dinner) and upstairs, bit of playtime and then pjs and phonics, reading books, spellings then bed. We have had to change what was our bedtime routine when they were at nursery but mainly to factor in needing to feed them and doing the phonics and reading, so a lot less baths! They have quick showers in the week either bedtime or mornings now instead

@Pinkflipflop85

The sensible teachers just adjust the day it's due in to Monday, if they want it done

Not all kids of that age are exhausted after school. My Yr1 DD is happily chatting with DH in her room as I type (having gone to ballet after school). So don't worry about it too much, she might be full of beans!

Has she started learning to read at all? It's an unfashionable view on Mumsnet but I think DD really benefited from having learned to read (via phonics) before she started school. It meant the reception reading homework was over in minutes and left more time for more interesting books, drawing, games, going to the park after school, etc.

I do 33 hours over 5 days. The days I pick up from school are so much easier than the long days, not rushing around like a mad thing. We have never attempted anything other than dinner and bed on the nights they are at ASC.

DD1 has done her homework at ASC since she started junior school so Y3. I think it's unrealistic for a younger child to even think of doing it unsupervised.

If your works has any flex I’d try and do your compressed hours across 5 days to pick her up earlier, especially in reception.
Or do one longer day in the office (and your DH covers pick up that day) so you can leave a bit earlier the other three. If your DH can do the same then you should be able to pick up at a decent time. All week (and even keep your Fridays as well)

We've got a 5 and 6 year old (and a toddler), some days they are in 7.30am-after 5.30pm, some days my parents pick the kids up but they don't make them tea. We are never all finished or home before 5.30. Our children have afterschool clubs and swimming too, they only get back from swimming gone 7pm. A normal night is fine though, they are in bed for 8. Tonight they both did about 40min homework at 6ish whilst tea cooked, plenty of time to get it done. Swimming nights they don't do any homework. You just get used to the routine really.

She will be exhausted at first I'm a childminder i serve a meal for younger children they are picked up at 6 and get home around 6.45 ....don't drive. Sometimes we have time to do reading. Don't forget reception starts are often staggered with half days.

DH picked DD up around 5.30pm and sorted out reading which she had to do on a daily basis. I was home around 6.15pm and started dinner, we always ate together.

DD normally watched a bit TV before dinner and then shower, bedtime story and light out at 8pm.

She only got homework on Thursdays to be handed back on Monday so we normally did it on the weekend, in most cases it took around 1/2 hour first and then increased over the years.

Only in KS2 she had to do spellings and timetables during the week but with being a bit older and more independent she did a lot on apps herself.

Doable but not enjoyable. It’s a long day for them and they get sick of it by the time they’re in year 5/6 and they don’t want to “play”. You see them for an hour or two at best after school before putting them to bed and hurrying them out the door again for breakfast club. (Well that’s my routine and yeah we are all sick of it).

It is a relief now my eldest is in year 8. He walks home at 3pm and is in for 3:10pm. He loves it. My daughter is in year 6 and can’t wait to see the back of her after school club. Not long for her and then just a few more years for my youngest.

We don't do homework. Only spellings and reading. Both of which are done at weekends, or as I'm cooking dinner. Our ASC does a 'snack tea' but that's often beans on toast or sandwiches and they've had a hot lunch at school so often only need supper. Bedtime starts at 6.30 for us as well.

Depending on what your job is, instead of compressing 4.5 days into 4, could you spread your work into 5 days and finish in time for school pick up on 4 of the days?

We use after school club 3 days a week and they give the kids dinner, so once they’re home by 6pm we just do a small snack, wind down with a bit of tv, playing and then bedtime around 7pm. Homework is only set once a week for my year 2 child (reception don’t get homework only reading) so we do that a different eve or weekend.

A couple of evenings a week we don't get in until 6:15. On those evenings we have soup, bread and cheese for tea. 10 minutes to heat up soup and an easy meal to eat. I feel ok about this as DD has reasonably decent main meals for school dinners.

Another childminder recommendation if you can get in there. Or could any of the adults from the After School club take your little one home and babysit for an hour or so? Your daughter can do homework and reading with their childcare provider, mine do. I pick up at 6:30pm, but if homework and dinner has been done, it means a relaxed evening together. Bath every other night! I think schools are realistic, so if you have had a busy week or illness throws everything out of schedule, it's worth telling them homework will be a few days late or that you'll only have time to read on the weekends, it's worked well for me so far (primary). Once you get the child care sorted, it does all fall into place.