Jobs that are almost like family?

[enweto]

I want a job where you work in a team and your group identity and work relationships are an important part of your life. Sounds a bit sad perhaps, and not what some people would want, but it is what I want. I am single and don’t have any close family within 50 miles, I devote my life to work but get little back really.

I used to be a teacher and in many ways that lifestyle fit the bill perfectly - the teamwork and camaraderie and sense of belonging were right for me. However, ultimately the relentless grind of it was just too stressful. I couldn’t keep up, I was falling behind with everything and getting so stressed and burnt out.

I left, and began working for the local authority instead, but the team is pretty soulless and nobody really gives a crap about each other at the end of the day. They all can’t wait to go home to their families at 5, which is great and everything, except my life isn’t like that. I need a more consuming career where the relationships mean something.

I watch TV police and medical dramas, and think that that sort of teamwork environment is where I would flourish, except TV drama isn’t real life is it? And anyway I have no science qualifications so healthcare is out, and as for the Police… well even if I wasn’t a complete wuss, I have got shockingly bad eyesight. And I’m nearly 40.
Another unrealistic career that appeals is an actor, or even the military (where the wussiness and eyesight would be an even worse problem!!)

Anyway. Am I being a bit silly thinking that teamwork and collegial relationships are more intrinsic to some professions, or is it luck of the draw / TV show nonsense (just like not all neighbourhoods are like Ramsey Street) or, can you think of any other careers I could consider where I feel I would get this sense of belonging and identity from my role?

Have you thought about something in the beauty industry. I am an ex nurse and have also had corporate jobs involving lots of travel but my current role as an aesthetic therapist is by far the most satisfying.
These jobs often involve working in small close knit teams but you also build great relationships with your clients who share many intimate aspects of their lives with you. The work can be as basic or advanced as you are prepared to develop. You could also end up running your own business which would then be all consuming!

I volunteer with Scouts and would say the people I've met are now close, very reliable friends. The kids are great generally (i dont like small ones so deal with Scouts & Explorers). You can also make it as consuming as you want, if you want to throw everything in then volunteer to organise or help run event. I see it very much as part of who I am and as big in my life as my job.

I assume you have thought about what happens when you leave this sort job?
I really wouldn't look for it. I think the suggestion of amateur dramatics is a good one. Creating a social life will be at least part of everyone's motivation for being there, rather than just earning a crust.

I completely agree, I used to have a senior role in a national charity. There was a trustee involved who would say ‘you’re like my second daughter Shoes’.

She was a pain in the neck, no boundaries at all. I blocked her on my personal phone because she had no boundaries, she was also a vindictive 🐄, lacking an ounce of professionalism.

I think you are searching in the wrong place. When you leave most jobs, even nice ones, many forget about you shortly afterwards, which is only natural.

My DP volunteers with a litter picking group. There are loads of them around these days. They have regular organised litter picking sessions and post pictures on Facebook - they mostly look around my age (55) and they all seem to have lots of fun, and do a fantastic job too!

The police is 100% like that. Don’t let your age stop you. Loads of people join in their 40s and even their 50s. I don’t think it matters what your eyesight is like nowadays as long as you wear specs/ lenses to correct it to a certain standard.

I think you need to get that part of your life from somewhere other than work.

So volunteer some of your time. DM does a lot of voluntary work for Marie curie and I’ve helped at some of the fundraising events and really enjoyed it. My friend is on the committee to help save her local church hall and it’s always busy with that. My dad drives the van for our local elderly food delivery service one day a week and loves it. Most charities would be super keen for your time.

Or someone mentioned above scouts or guides if that’s more your thing. In our area there is volunteer lifeboat/fire service too

I’d also say look at some kind of social group. Sport, book club, sewing club, choir? I’m in our WI and it’s fabulous, definitely not all old ladies.

Also yes maybe look at a second evening or weekend job somewhere like a pub or cafe

I had this in my first permanent job doing customer service for a large national charity. Part of a team answering the phones and opening letters from donors then writing thank you letters. Lots of data entry, so it was tedious but we bonded over it - mostly young graduates, and some part time mums and a couple of semi-retired ladies. Awful pay though, but I do sometimes get nostalgic for that

I know it might not be practical but have you thought about moving to a small village. This would offer the life you seek. I live in a village with under 300 people and there are committees galore and coffee mornings and event’s constantly, if you like that sort of thing.

Agree with others who have suggested volunteering. You work together towards a shared goal, and there's usually more of a social element to it.

My first job was like a family. We were mostly under 30, single, and in our first or second jobs in publishing. Our social life was just a continuation of our work day.
I then moved to another publishing firm and it couldn't have been more different. We had those dreaded partitions where you don't see anyone if sitting, there was no natural light, and I only spoke to a very few people. Soul destroying. I lasted less than a year there.

I have worked in this kind of job where your role is one that comes with being part of a community, close small team, etc. I really do love that kind of job but you do have to remember - it's a job and employer. As lovely as that is, they will lay you off if they no longer need you and you are never the same part of that community again. It's best to keep a bit of emotional distance.

If medical/healthcare or law enforcement appeal to you what about 999 call handler or prison staff? Prisons have a lot of roles guard, teaching, back office etc.

I'm afraid most jobs that have what you're looking for have downsides like stress, pointless paperwork and risk of burnout. It really depends on what you are willing to take on, and salary expectations. Some careers can be fairly low paying at first (iirc around £20k a year starting for 999 call handler).

I work for a very small SME, we're a partnership and so our day to day work affects each of our families livelihoods. We're incredibly close and very much like an extended family, we're also dispersed so we often visit each other and stay in family homes and are always made to feel welcome. I absolutely love my team, the senior partner is like a brother to me and we could not function professionally without each other so there is huge respect within the team for each other and our different strengths. When we hit some financial trouble the team worked together to get through it rather than disappear off to find alternative employment (which in our field would have been very easy) purely because we love how we work and who we work with. Our recruitment process specifically identifies people who fit our ethos because skills can be gained, attitude and 'fit' can't, we have taken on staff who on paper would not have been first choice but they just 'clicked', we've never regretted a hire and no-one has left the team for over 3 years, we just grow the team as the business takes on contracts.

In stark contrast I previously worked for a multi-national retail brand in the head office, I worked with people, that was it, they weren't friends they were just people I worked with. So I'd say that you get far more from an SME or micro-entity, it also uses a far greater range of skills because there's less of you so you have more areas each to cover.

I would though give a word of warning- never ever work in an SME as the only employee with a husband and wife (or equivalent) leadership- it never works.

My workplace is closely bonded, and we do all socialise together outside work sometimes but no one (as far as I am aware) socialises on a more one to one basis outside work, despite the closeness it is still work relationships and that's as far as it goes. I think it's partly because its a small place and we sort of sense that if people started buddying up together it would upset the group dynamic a bit. Also we see enough of each other during the week and on our occasional nights out. That might be enough but if you are hoping to extend it into more full friendships I second what others have said about volunteering or a hobby-based activity, amateur dramatics etc. Not just going to eg dance classes, I do things like that but have rarely made friends through them, the common goal/project type setting would be better.

as others have said, any job that is all consuming enough that you bond over it, will be high stress and long hours, or low paid and worthy.

I think volunteering is going to be the best bet for you - you need to do something that involves being able to make small talk with those also volunteering and will put you in the company of other people who aren’t in the childhood slog years (so either older or younger than you).

if you have strong political views, then perhaps volunteering with the local party /campaigning for your preferred party. Or see if your local national trust is looking for helpers. Then on top of that try to book at least one evening for another hobby type club, but somewhere you can chat and bond.

if you are 40 and most of your friends are professionals with families, they are probably have dcs at the higher end of primary and it is hard to find time to regularly meet up with friends then - kids have more activities, which go on later/longer at weekends, but aren’t at the stage of dcs being able to go /come home alone yet. When your friends dcs all hit secondary age they’ll have more time (unless they’ve accidentally produced one of those kids who are gifted at a sport in which case they are busy until their child has a driving licence).

I agree with PP, this type of environment normally comes from stressful environments where you do have to work as a team and rely upon one another as a team to get the best job done and there isn’t much room for ‘that’s not my job’ without it being quite obvious you aren’t a team player. However, not always and sometimes it just depends on the dynamic of the team as a whole and their leadership.

I think stressful jobs are more likely to build the type of teams you are looking for but also it can be the luck of draw. I still meet up with a group of people I worked with over 20 years ago. We nearly all work elsewhere or are retired now. It was a very boring office job, we just all clicked.

Even if you pick a career which you think has these elements, the people there may not feel the same and may tune out and have boundaries come the end of the day.
Anywhere I've worked which described itself as being like family was a highly toxic burnout environment so do be careful of that red flag too.
Perhaps joining some hobby clubs outside work would help- the intense ones like training such as cycling or running? Toastmasters or bridge?

Law, particularly corporate law or litigation. Long hours, lots of stress but if you're in a nice team (this may be an oxymoron!) it can be a lot of fun. Work hard and play hard. I include the secretaries and legal executives in that too.

(Also can be a nightmare if you have people who don't manage stress well!)

Bits of farming can be like that. Our farm secretary has been coming as long as my husband has been alive - 49 years! She came to our wedding!!

I always found the charitable sector fit that bill, you might be able to use your existing skill set there?

Being an actor is like being in a family, but only when you are in work sadly! The rest of the time it's pretty lonely and frustrating.

How about working backstage at a theatre?This only works if you live in striking distance of London ( or lucky enough to get work.in a regional theatre, London has the highest concentration obviously.) Stage door/ wardrobe/ stage hand roles still have that team work element.

Or how about joining an amateur dramatics company

I agree with others here and am of the opinion that 'your work will not save you'. I know that many of us spend a lot of time in the workplace, and that workplace friendships and community can be enriching. But at the end of the day, it is a job, and I don't think it should be a substitute for family, friends, community, or other relationships.

I've seen workplace friendships sour very quickly, and individuals and teams be moved, managed out, demoralised, and even made redundant. You are there to do a job, and if you're no longer valuable you'll be out. Being friends with your colleagues will make no difference. If you're substituting the role of friends and community into the workplace, these changes can be extra hard to take.

I've over-committed myself in this way in the past, but with the benefit of hindsight, I now take whatever might come (friendships, community) from my work, but I don't rely on it, and I make an effort to build these things outside of work. Yes, they might be limited (who has endless time to cultivate these things?! And even if you, others usually don't) but you have to have outlets beyond the job. I might recommend sports clubs, volunteer coaching, dancing, choirs, charity volunteering, even litter picking in your local park. Good luck