Is my 5 yo doing something she shouldn't be?

[Polyputthekettleon]

My dd is 5. She loves picking leaves, sticks , pinecones etc. When we go to the park/for walks if there are blossoms she'd ask me to pick some for her and I would. If she can reach them she will pick them herself. If there are trees , shrubs within her reach she will pick a few leaves or twigs if she can. This is not from people's private property, but as I said, from trees on pavements and parks etc. I thought this was normal behaviour for children, but I am not sure anymore, so I am asking for your opinions. During spring/summer we see fresh flowers picked and just dropped all over the place so I am guessing my dd is not the only one who does this. Dd never does this with planted flowers in parks. It's only blossoms, leaves and twigs. Not planted flowers. Dh always tells dd off if he see dd doing this. He always says that we need to respect trees etc and tells her off and tells her not to do it again. Now spring is approaching, she is looking forward to picking blossoms, and I am not sure if I should allow/her pick blossoms , and other twigs and leaves 🤔

YABU - you shouldn't encourage this
YANBU - it's just normal 5 year old behaviour and my dh is just being weird

If more and more kids did the same, there would be none left for anyone else.

if it’s on the ground, fine, if it’s on an attached stem, not fine. X

it is, and if the mother is allowing her, then she is culpable

Ive had photographs I have taken in the past used by the police to follow up a complaint from a park ranger to the police about a family picking wild flowers. He told them it was a criminal offense, and they carried on anyway. I had photographed the flowers an hour or so before they arrived, and my photos were used in the prosecution.

I once sat and watched in shock as a family walked along our local river and their children merrily skipped ahead destroying the planted daffodils and pulling the blossoms off the trees. Dropping them behind them like confetti.

It's disgusting behaviour and should not be encouraged. Children will want to explore but we as parents need to teach them the right thing.

The trees and plants are not her property. They are living breathing things the same as we and animals are.

Would you let her yank a few bits of wool off a sheep?

I would never let a child pluck ay living thing, especially early blossoms as they matter so much to the bees. I do like that American tip that is something like take nothing but photos and leave nothing but footprints.

If she loves flowers and plants so much why not get some she can grow at home and care for? You don't need a garden either.

If everyone picked a leaf, then the tree would adapt. It's why they grew tall in the first place.

Herbs benefit from being picked regularly.

We prune out trees in the winter, to encourage fruiting and the reason that trees put lots of blossom out is that it expects to lose a fair amount during the year.

A kid picking the odd blossom, may end up becoming a future horticulturist, or flower farmer, or farmer.

I'd say no to wild flowers [eg orchids] and bulbs but anything else goes.

This isn't correct. The Wildlife and Countryside Act says it's an offence to uproot wild plants. There are certain times when it could become illegal - such as picking someone's garden could be criminal damage, or picking from certain protected nature reserves or national trust properties - NOT your average road side or playground!

I think some common sense is required here. Picking the odd dandelion or pulling a leaf off a tree is OK but she's old enough to understand that plants are living things, they provide food for animals, and might be there for other people to enjoy, etc. so it's not right to pick certain things.

It’s great that she loves flowers and nature. But as others have said, blossom on trees is for everyone to enjoy, and pulling off twigs can leave trees vunerable to disease by bacteria and bugs entering from ragged bark.

Say that when it is Summer she can pick daisies from the grass to make a daisy chain as daisies get mown down anyway, and in the autumn she can pick up fallen leaves and confers, but that is it in public places.

I would try to channel her interest into growing things at home, if you ask around I expect gardening friends will have spare seeds to give her so it doesn’t even need to cost you much.

Blossom is an integral part of a tree’s life cycle.
that is where the fruit comes from.
it only drops off when it has done its purpose.
plus it feeds bees.

please don’t pick anything from a tree

teach her about the life cycle of trees and plants, how they support bees and other wildlife.
plant things together and tend to them
encourage a love of wildlife so that she wants to protect and preserve it.

I wouldn't allow her to pull bits off trees or bushes I would encourage her to just collect things from underneath them and agree 100% with her dad. That said if she is old enough to learn the difference you can teach her flowers that can be picked as they will quickly regrow without affecting the plant such as dandelions and daisies.

But picking flowers means that a plant can’t set seed, not an issue with some plants which are prolific seeders, but not all are, so could mean that a habitat gradually loses its natural flora.

Conkers . Don’t try to pick up conifers!

Some over the top reactions here. It’s a few flowers ffs

Agree with dh and pp

off the ground is fine though and another poster suggested a window box for dd and I think this is a great idea or a small section of garden if you have one it will be exciting for her to plant seeds bulbs etc and watch them grow and will likely also make her realise why picking the flowers / leafs of other plants isn’t great

As they said at my kids’ forest school “we don’t lick and we don’t pick”

On the ground where its fallen off fine, anything else not. Weeds feed the ecology too!

Anything on the floor is fine but no picking of blossoms

Don't allow her to do this. It doesn't encourage nurturing behaviour. Mine pick up stuff from the floor that has fallen but i don't allow live plants to be pillaged. I wouldn't let them do
It in my garden and don't allow them to donit in public - regardless of what others are doing.

My rule was always to look not touch if it was growing but anything that had fallen to the grown was fair game.

And if everyone let their children pick "just a few flowers" there wouldn't be any left.

I remember having it drilled into me in primary school not to pick flowers and pull stuff off trees.

Thank you all for your replies. Yes, there are some really good suggestions and some ott replies as to be expected from MN. I was looking more for opinions on if this is normal thing for a 5 year old to do, and not so much about the legalities or a Greta Thunberg analysis on how a 5 year old picking an odd blossom or leaf will contribute to global warming or destroy the bee population. I know picking flowers in public places is not illegal. I am glad that some think that picking a few flowers is not a big deal, and now coming to think of it, if it is okay for realtors to destroy greenspaces for property development and make millions for it , I don't think a 5 year old picking an odd blossom or leaf from a public place is going to cause a climate crisis. The whole argument of " what if everyone does it" doesn't apply, as everyone doesn't, its something only little children do and soon grow out of. The "what if everyone does it " argument can apply to almost everything ....what if everyone becomes a property developer, what if everyone starts getting about in their cars, what if everyone starts owning a private jet ad infinitum...

Some great ideas on how to channel her love of nature on here and thank you so much for all your replies. I will not be returning to this thread.

I was going to write a lengthy post about one persons pick and scatter is another creatures food, home, safe haven. especially at the moment for hibernating wildlife. It’s good to look but not touch.
but I see we’ve moved on from that.

I think you need to work with your dh on finding a happy compromise