Is my 5 yo doing something she shouldn't be?

[Polyputthekettleon]

My dd is 5. She loves picking leaves, sticks , pinecones etc. When we go to the park/for walks if there are blossoms she'd ask me to pick some for her and I would. If she can reach them she will pick them herself. If there are trees , shrubs within her reach she will pick a few leaves or twigs if she can. This is not from people's private property, but as I said, from trees on pavements and parks etc. I thought this was normal behaviour for children, but I am not sure anymore, so I am asking for your opinions. During spring/summer we see fresh flowers picked and just dropped all over the place so I am guessing my dd is not the only one who does this. Dd never does this with planted flowers in parks. It's only blossoms, leaves and twigs. Not planted flowers. Dh always tells dd off if he see dd doing this. He always says that we need to respect trees etc and tells her off and tells her not to do it again. Now spring is approaching, she is looking forward to picking blossoms, and I am not sure if I should allow/her pick blossoms , and other twigs and leaves 🤔

YABU - you shouldn't encourage this
YANBU - it's just normal 5 year old behaviour and my dh is just being weird

You use the fallen leaves for arts and crafts

Thank you so much for your opinions, much appreciated 🙏

She’s not doing anything “wrong” in that most children want to pick stuff and bring it home, it’s normal in that sense. But like many things five year olds instinctively want to do sometimes there needs to be rules around it. Beyond the very obvious that you don’t pick anything privately owned or specifically planted I also don’t allow picking leaves/blossoms off trees and I don’t let them trample through or pick from the deliberate wildflower/meadow/set aside/“no mow” areas.

But I will allow picking daisies from the grass around the play equipment for making daisy chains and we do pick some of the cherries, plums and apples from the trees on council land (they were expressly planted for people to take from for personal use and it is explicitly encouraged by the council). They can have sticks and fallen leaves in autumn, and a reasonable number of acorns/conkers from the park if they want, it only ends up being swept up with all the leaves by the municipal tractors anyway.

I wouldn’t allow mine to pick twigs, leaves or flowers (except daisies, buttercups, dandelions and the like) that were growing but mine love collecting twigs, leaves and flowers that have fallen, their pockets and mine are usually stuffed with them after a walk!

I wouldn’t encourage picking living flowers/plants/trees. Fine to pick up anything fallen.

@runlift yes
with leaves that had already fallen on the ground…

As others have said, imagine if every child did this; there'd be nothing left! Definitely can't pick anything living.

pick up from floor fine - pull from plants or trees is a no from me doesn't matter where they are

I agree with this.

Blossom from a tree is also fine imo, it wil be all over the floor within a week so I can't see the harm in a five year old picking a few bits off! It's not the same as a flower.

If she is picking wild flowers then this is a criminal offence

No, not from living bushes or trees.

Stuff that's fallen off the trees is fine, pine cones off the floor, ok, picking flowers from public places isn't on at all.

I’d say it’s fine as long as you’re teaching her to respect nature and to only pick a very limited amount with causing damage to trees and plants, and that it is better to take things that have already fallen from the trees where possible.

Ideally it would be better not to do it at all but if it’s a specific thing she is really interested in there’s not a great deal of harm and you can hopefully try to divert her interest into IDing trees from their leaves and such like.

Whattt😳not picking things is a thing......I totally missed that memo🤦🏻‍♀️ I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if my kid picked a plant/twig/branch.....

Stuff already fallen no problems but no she should not be pulling anything off life plants or trees

Also dandelions and clover. Any blossom really.

When the DC did Forest School, their mantra was "no pick; no luck" which was simple but effective!
As others have said, I think flowers, leaves etc should be left for everyone to enjoy. If they're on the ground already, it's a different story.

Same

If everyone took one there would be none

I think more important than whether or not she should be doing it is that you and your DH are giving the poor kid very mixed messages here if you're encouraging it and he's telling her off.

You need to figure out your joint stance on this and stick to it, it may just be a little thing but disjointed parenting like this is not good for development or a child's trust in their parents. It's very confusing for nippers when one parent says yes and the other says no. United front and all that. One of you is going to have to agree to disagree here.

I let me children pick weeds and pick things up that are on the ground eg dropped flowers , twigs , dried leaves

they’re not allowed to pull leaves, berries or flowers off leaves/trees.

YABU. If they are in public gardens they are there for everyone's enjoyment, not just hers.

YABU

It probably doesn’t matter but you’ve had a name change fail in this thread OP.

No it's not

It's an offence to DIG up plants, picking the flowers off isn't. Also - she's 5! Below the age of criminal responsibility.