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Original poster

Why would you give baby your ex husbands surname when it's not his baby?

58 replies

WrendaleCountryDogs · 05/02/2023 05:48

Friend had a baby a few weeks ago, just before Christmas. She had baby registered Friday and yesterday showed me the birth certificate.
She's given baby her ex husbands surname. He's not on the birth certificate.

They divorced 12 years ago after only 8 months of marriage. They married at 19 years of age and were just too young. They have zero contact, she doesn't know where he lives etc.

The father of the baby was a brief fling. Sadly, he died by suicide when friend was 11 weeks pregnant. He didn't even know about the baby.

I can't get my head around why she gave baby her ex husbands surname. She reverted back to her maiden name, which is a much nicer surname, after the divorce. Baby's name sounds better with the maiden name too as its very heavy on one sound with ex husband's surname. Eg Lily Williams compared to Lily Brown or Maddie David compared to Maddie Jones.

Baby is her first child so it's not as if she's done it to be the same as siblings. Friend and baby have different surnames!!

Appreciate it's absolutely none of my business but I find it so strange.

OP posts:
nye11111 · 05/02/2023 12:13

MissMaple82 · 05/02/2023 12:03

Why are you asking Mumsnet? Ask your friend

Why ask anything on Mumsnet then?

pristinesurfacesGBTD · 05/02/2023 14:04

MissMaple82 · 05/02/2023 12:03

Why are you asking Mumsnet? Ask your friend

Pointless contribution

TheBigWangTheory · 05/02/2023 15:29

tangerinetreesandmarmaladeskies · 05/02/2023 10:41

Isn't the logical answer that she never changed her surname back after divorce?

I know lots of people who use their "maiden" name on social media but have their married name on official documents because it's easier than changing it back again.

No, because OP says she is using her maiden name again. It's a myth that you have to do anything to change your name back, you are legally either, or both names, as you choose.

Calling your child a name that you used to use because you havent' bothered to change it in your passport would be pretty weird.

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AllThingsServeTheBeam · 05/02/2023 16:34

ISeeTheLight · 05/02/2023 10:45

Depending on where she travels to/from this could be tricky, even with the birth certificate. As PP said you sometimes get awkward border officials.

Yes it's a very weird thing to do.

Where could it be tricky with a birth certificate and passport?

tangerinetreesandmarmaladeskies · 05/02/2023 16:48

TheBigWangTheory · 05/02/2023 15:29

No, because OP says she is using her maiden name again. It's a myth that you have to do anything to change your name back, you are legally either, or both names, as you choose.

Calling your child a name that you used to use because you havent' bothered to change it in your passport would be pretty weird.

Show quote history

I don't think it's weird at all

I assume that, when she married, she (like many women) changed her name on all her "official" documents and never bothered to change it back - just carried on renewing them in her married name as it was easier - even when divorced.

So her married name is now what's on her passport, her bills, her driving license etc. - so it makes sense to use it for baby too.

Just because she uses her maiden name on social media, doesn't mean that's what she uses in an official capacity.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/02/2023 16:55

LadyMargaretDevereux · 05/02/2023 06:24

Surely you can't register a birth using any surname you like for the baby?

You absolutely can. Doesn’t have to be connected to your name at all.

The only thing you can’t do is name a man you’re not married to as the father.

MustBeThursday · 05/02/2023 16:55

I technically had my older half sibling's dad's surname because my DM kept the name when they divorced

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/02/2023 16:55

*without them present I mean

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