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Original poster

Anyone up? Can't cope with baby

40 replies

bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:28

I can't do it anymore.

She's ten months. I've posted so many threads like this now it's a joke but I'm just so sad and lonely.

Baby and I both have covid and feel awful. She just wants me to stand and rock her endlessly. She won't settle in her cot. I'm in so much pain and so exhausted.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've got no more tears to cry. Zero family help available.

OP posts:
Pirrin · 05/02/2023 02:34

Oh no, that sounds awful for you. Can you make your bed safe and let her sleep next to you? Play some TV shows (mine loved the songs from Disney movies at that age, rather than any actual tv) on a tablet propped up in front of her and you juat doze. If she's crying I can recommened earplugs to take the edge of and save your sanity, although I understand that doesn't help with the feeling ill.

Lovethatforyou · 05/02/2023 02:34

What about if you get her in bed with you in a safe sleeping position?

Is her dad around to help?

could you get a friend to take her for a walk tomorrow while you get some sleep?

This rough time will pass OP. X

MrsT84 · 05/02/2023 02:36

Sending hugs and understanding x I have just settled my 9.5 month old for 3rd time tonight whilst hubby snores away. This time will pass and you will look back on it one day with fondness (I have an 8 year old DS as well as baby girl). Can you take baby to bed with you for hugs? X

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MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco · 05/02/2023 02:36

If you can't stand, sit to rock her. If she's cross, she'll be cross anywhere, so you may as well make sure one of you is comfortable tonight. Have you taken paracetamol recently? If not, do. And have a drink. Can you face eating? I know you may not be able to make anything, but even a few crackers is better than nothing.
If baby is unwell and cranky, make sure she's had some Calpol (or equivalent) too.
Flowers

Jadviga · 05/02/2023 02:37

There comes a point where you're so tired, you just have to put her to bed and sleep. Even if she cries. Sucks for both of you though. But you need to stay safe so if you feel you're at the point of passing out or falling asleep, put her in her cot so she's safe. Even if she cries.

I'm guessing no dad in the picture then. I know what that's like, i have two as a single parent by choice.

What makes this tricky is the covid aspect, usually I'd suggest paying someone to watch her while you rest tomorrow, but you can't expose other people to covid.

Is she usually a good sleeper ? Does feeding to sleep do anything ? White noise ?

Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:37

Thanks so much for replying. I'm a bit too anxious to have her in our bed and it's also not an option as my eldest is currently in there.

The only thing keeping my sane is taking it in turns with dh. I'm going to get him at 3 so just 25 more mins to push through.

There is no way I'm EVER having another baby, this truly is a nightmare.

OP posts:
RedHead33 · 05/02/2023 02:37

I'm so sorry to hear that but you're not alone ❤️ I don't have any useful advice but I didn't want to scroll past. Feel free to have a good moan on here.
Covid is the worst, I'm just getting over it now and I felt so rough all week so I feel your pain there, although I don't have a 10 month old who's also sick you poor thing x

Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:37

Sorry that was meant for @Pirrin

OP posts:
Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:41

Wow thank you for all the speedy replies. I instantly feel that bit better and heard. Mn is awesome sometimes!

Her dad is very much in the picture! In 20 mins he'll be having his turn. Overall he's brilliant and has been taking such great care of us all despite also having covid (but not suffering with it quite as much). I'd be lost without him.

OP posts:
Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:43

@RedHead33 thanks for your kind comment. Covid is just crap and the guilt I'm experiencing (let's face it, she'd have caught it off me) is hard too! Get well soon x

OP posts:
icefishing · 05/02/2023 02:46

OP it sounds really hard.
Sometimes babies just cry and you can't make them stop.
If you aren't well enough to rock her then you aren't and she will be okay.
Hope you both feel better soon.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 05/02/2023 02:48

I know this sounds childish, but when I’m going through a really rough period I sometimes make myself a sticker chart just like I make for my DCs when potty training. I give myself a sticker just for getting through the day. I draw the chart for 5 days, or two weeks, or whenever I think there’s reason to believe life will have turned a corner, and then I mark the passing of the challenging days. Just knowing that I’ve survived 24 hours gives me faith that I can survive it again, and that every passing day I’m closer to the time when life won’t be this degree of grim anymore.

OdeToBarney · 05/02/2023 02:49

I feel you op. 9mo DD has had norovirus this week, then of course we both got it. Caring for a sick baby when you are sick yourself is truly awful! We've had 3 hospital trips this week, I've just got into bed after the latest. Well, I say bed, I mean the sofa where I've been with DD propped up on me all week. Not long until your turn for sleep 💗

catinboots123 · 05/02/2023 02:50

Just stick her in the bed with you

Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:51

@icefishing thank you. I'm sat in my lovely new rocking chair in her room and she's sleeping on my shoulder. She won't go in her cot but at least I have my phone and my nice chair with the new cushions. It could be worse I suppose.

I'm sorry to be one of those annoying people but on an emotional level I honestly cannot just walk off leaving her to cry. I just can't. Also on a practical level ds will be woken up and then we'll have a new problem for ourselves.

OP posts:
Pirrin · 05/02/2023 02:52

No guilt allowed! Illness is just one of those things. You are pushing yourself to breaking point looking after your lovely but hard work DD - you're doing a wonderful job and have permission to not say anything bad about yourself and the epic job you're doing.

Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:53

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers that's an amazing idea! (No sarcasm, I think I might do it!)

OP posts:
Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:55

@Pirrin thank you. I'm nearly ten years NC with my awful mother which is hard but I'm trying to twist it around into a thing to spur me on - every time I show my kids love and care I am turning out to be nothing like her and that really motivates me. If my children know they are safe, valued, happy and loved that really is all that matters to me.

OP posts:
Pollypocket1001 · 05/02/2023 02:56

4 mins to go op!
I remember this with my son. We'd have to take it in turns to hold him all night because he wouldn't sleep in his moses basket.
It's a rough patch, just keep telling yourself it won't last forever!
Hope you get some rest and feel better soon x

trythisforsize · 05/02/2023 02:57

Your baby wants cuddles and you're giving them. You're a lovely mum. Just chill, 2 more minutes xx

Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:58

@Pollypocket1001 thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:59

@trythisforsize thank you x

OP posts:
ebonylion · 05/02/2023 03:02

It's your time now for peace
Get wax ear plugs

Give baby any medicine due because even if no fever she may be in pain like you are

It's fucking shit I actually fell asleep standing with my most recent baby, I have three kids and the nights can be murder when they are sick

This is my first experience of a baby who doesn't sleep well and my god I am just exhausted hysterical and frazzled quite a lot of the time

You are not alone xxxx

stickerpicker · 05/02/2023 03:04

bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:53

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers that's an amazing idea! (No sarcasm, I think I might do it!)

Oh, me too! Genius idea.

ElmtreeMama · 05/02/2023 03:49

I also wouldn't leave my poorly baby to cry, so I know how you feel.

You're doing so well, It is so tough but you're doing it amazingly! I'm sorry you're poorly and hope tomorrow is an easier day 💐

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