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Original poster

Anyone up? Can't cope with baby

40 replies

bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:28

I can't do it anymore.

She's ten months. I've posted so many threads like this now it's a joke but I'm just so sad and lonely.

Baby and I both have covid and feel awful. She just wants me to stand and rock her endlessly. She won't settle in her cot. I'm in so much pain and so exhausted.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've got no more tears to cry. Zero family help available.

OP posts:
EpiBugLady · 05/02/2023 03:58

bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 02:28

I can't do it anymore.

She's ten months. I've posted so many threads like this now it's a joke but I'm just so sad and lonely.

Baby and I both have covid and feel awful. She just wants me to stand and rock her endlessly. She won't settle in her cot. I'm in so much pain and so exhausted.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've got no more tears to cry. Zero family help available.

I'm still up, and can really relate to your post, both my DCs would not sleep lying down for many months, it was torture. So sorry you're in the thick of this.

Have you tried white noise? I got this bear thing called MyHummy that worked eventually with mine. I also tried putting clothes I'd worn on the cot (like t-shirts, if you can tuck them into the bed), and that seemed to help too.

Is there anyone that can watch baby for a few hours in the day? Sometimes I found that could spur me through a bad night if I knew I'd get some sleep the next day.

Sending support, be kind to yourself, sleep deprivation is deeply unpleasant.

Remy7 · 05/02/2023 04:04

I could have written this a couple of weeks ago, it is tough. Other half works shifts so I often have what feel like endless nights on my own.
Obviously I'm up now so it's still not amazing but it really doesn't last forever and after your rest you will feel better about it.
A few times I reminded myself that being a baby must be frustrating, never mind a being a poorly one. A couple of nights I stopped "fighting" to get my 8 month old little one to sleep and we went down to watch TV.
Take care of yourself OP x

Fixyourself · 05/02/2023 04:17

Have baby in with you and dh sleep with your eldest in their bed.
That's the only way you'll ever get sleep. It's and a bad habit and as long as you read safety guidelines then it's perfectly safe.

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Families
Ladywinesalot · 05/02/2023 04:35

OP covid is bike jet alone having to look after a poorly baby with it.

just some random ideas for you both:
can you both have a bubbly bath together
put the tv on and sit on sofa together
have some tea and chocolate together
all calpol up?

keep talking to us 💐

Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 04:51

@Ladywinesalot thanks for your message. I popped downstairs to turn the heating off and while down there got some chocolate which has helped me so much! Ten mins to go then dh is doing 5-6am!

OP posts:
Ladywinesalot · 05/02/2023 05:35

So glad your feeling a bit better and that you’ve kept talking.
nearly swap time!

Mylaferret · 05/02/2023 05:35

If he's only doing an hour at a time then you're not getting the chance to get any proper sleep. You need to break his turn up into much larger chunks, at least 2-3 hours so both of you get proper sleep.

ZooMount · 05/02/2023 06:25

Sorry you're having a hard time op. One thing you can be sure of, an absolute guarantee in life, if that this will pass. It's so hard in the moment but try and do what you can to get through each day and before you know it it will be spring, the sun will start to shine, your baby will get older and things will slowly start to get easier. Keep going you're doing am amazing job, it is tough 🌷

Margo34 · 05/02/2023 06:32

I used to lie on the floor next to the cot when I reached this level of exhaustion from rocking and holding baby, and I used to stick my arm through the bars at an uncomfortable angle to keep my hand on baby's stomach or back. At one point I dragged the cot to the foot of my bed so I could lie at the end of my bed with my hand in their cot still. I wonder if either of those would work for you?
I had covid a couple of weeks ago it was exhausting enough by itself with a covid toddler to look after so I totally sympathise.
Hope you have an easy day planned.

gogohmm · 05/02/2023 07:00

I would suggest just co sleeping for now. You need sleep.

Dippyeggz · 05/02/2023 07:02

I've read your other threads. I'm going to get people jumping down my throat for this but, honestly? In your position (and once baby is fully well), I'd just sleep train. My mental health was totally wrecked by sleep deprivation. When we decided to do it, it's no exaggeration to say it changed my life. We were suddenly both getting lot of good quality sleep, it made me a better, more patient, more present mother. I actually started enjoying my mat leave. My baby was happier as they were no longer chronically sleep deprived, too. Crying reduced dramatically - we went from a baby who cried and screamed for hours before sleep (which was awful) to one who happily rolled over and put themselves to sleep within 5mins. If anything I wish I'd done it sooner. It's totally your choice and whatever you feel comfortable with, but know that the option is there.

ShadowPuppets · 05/02/2023 07:09

Mylaferret · 05/02/2023 05:35

If he's only doing an hour at a time then you're not getting the chance to get any proper sleep. You need to break his turn up into much larger chunks, at least 2-3 hours so both of you get proper sleep.

I was going to say this. Imo you split the night and only have one swap. Hard work but then you’re getting 4 hours in a row which feels life giving sometimes!

OP you have all my sympathy. I did sleep train (Ferber) and with both babies it saved me. But when they were poorly (properly, not just the odd toddler cold) all bets are off. Yes it means a bit more work getting them back into independent sleep after but when they’re poorly it’s unlimited cuddles. So I totally get it. It’s so shit when you’re ill as well but things really will get better, however you want to proceed after you’ve all kicked the covid.

That said I’m also now tempted to do myself a star chart to cope with toddler tantrum days 😆

Original poster
bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 19:27

Thanks to everyone for the sympathy and supportive words.

OP posts:
RedHead33 · 05/02/2023 19:29

@bakewellbride did you manage to get some sleep? Hope so x

Cuppasoupmonster · 05/02/2023 19:33

Dippyeggz · 05/02/2023 07:02

I've read your other threads. I'm going to get people jumping down my throat for this but, honestly? In your position (and once baby is fully well), I'd just sleep train. My mental health was totally wrecked by sleep deprivation. When we decided to do it, it's no exaggeration to say it changed my life. We were suddenly both getting lot of good quality sleep, it made me a better, more patient, more present mother. I actually started enjoying my mat leave. My baby was happier as they were no longer chronically sleep deprived, too. Crying reduced dramatically - we went from a baby who cried and screamed for hours before sleep (which was awful) to one who happily rolled over and put themselves to sleep within 5mins. If anything I wish I'd done it sooner. It's totally your choice and whatever you feel comfortable with, but know that the option is there.

This. You sound quite desperate - gentle sleep training is the way to go here.

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