My now 15 year old-at the time was aged about 3/4
she once fell over and really hurt her knee,so I swooped her up and put a tissue on it-when I took the tissue away,it had a few,tiny drops of blood on it-which she saw
’IM GOING TO DIE!MUMMY!IM GOING TO DIE!’ (Everyone claimed she’s as dramatic as I am,which isn’t true coughs)
another time I handed her a plastic ikea cup of orange smoothie-because it wasn’t pink,she poured the whole lot in my handbag
wearing a low cut top ‘mummy, I can see your lungs’ thinks ‘and they are really saggy!just like your tummy!’ (Thanks child-I was skinny until I couldn’t lose the weight after having you)
‘grandad?’
’yes?’
’why did you burn all your hair off?’
(poor grandad is very self conscious of his lack of hair)
she once raced in and said something like ‘mummy,agjskjusgshwnwjzi?’
i just agreed with her and she ran off
turned out I’d just agreed that spraying a full bottle of air freshener down the loo was a good idea
she is my number 6 child-the joke is that I swear if she’d been my first,she would have been my last-and we joke I would have given her up for adoption! (we love her really but she was hard work)