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Original poster

If your brother and sister in law split up, have you remained friends with your sis in law ? Mines become a good friend

38 replies

Grapefruitbreakfast · 30/01/2023 16:44

And I’d hate to lose her but not sure how realistic a continued friendship is

anyone else been here ?
How did it pan out ?

OP posts:
2023Hhh · 05/10/2023 09:29

Hi, I'm looking for some advice. My brothers world has just come crashing down. His wife of 10 years married (17 years together) has cheated on him and thrown him out. They have 5 children together, 3 adopted. He is absolutely distraught and is desperate for her back. She has said if they get back together, she will keep cheating. He has supported her through drugs which seems to be spiralling but she won't accept help. I've tried the soft approach, accepting his feelings etc and I've tried the less than soft approach. "You need to move on, etc" all he can think about is how much he loves her. She's left him in thousands of £ worth of debt and he cant see a way to afford living alone. he's really struggling. He is staying with me and ive told him he can stay as long as he needs but he also doesnt know my husband that great so doesnt feel too comfortable no matter how much me and my husband are welcoming etc. He says he's not strong enough to walk away and this is his first ever heartbreak. He's not sleeping or eating. He keeps saying things that are concerning to me but I know that may be me being overly worried because I work in mental health, although I am making him an appointment with the Dr just to be sure. How can I support him through this?

Cumbrianlife · 05/10/2023 09:31

Never a good friend but we got on and still do. She lives next door but one. I see her several times a week.

Cumbrianlife · 05/10/2023 09:33

@2023Hhh I'd start you own thread.

FetchezLaVache · 05/10/2023 09:41

My sister and I joke that we managed to keep DSIL in the divorce! My brother's new partner is not impressed that we have remained friends with her (even though she was my friend before she was my DSIL) and made a scene at a family party, basically forcing us into choosing between them, which was not a difficult decision as the new partner is in many ways quite unpleasant. So DSIL still comes for Christmas and all family events and we rarely see DB and his partner, which is fine by us all.

2023Hhh · 05/10/2023 09:45

Sorry, I'm new to this. I thought I had lol

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 05/10/2023 09:52

I think if there are children of the marriage it's crazy to dump the ex in laws, if at all feasible. You still have the common bonds. If I liked my sil id just say I thought it best that I didn't become involved, eg for the sake of the kids.

LoobyDop · 05/10/2023 10:28

My ex SiL appears to be hell bent on destroying my brother, even if my nephew is hurt in the process. So no, I haven’t stayed friends with her. I’d very much like to have ten minutes alone with her, but it probably isn’t a good idea. Fortunately my brother has met a lovely new partner.

CloakandDagger1 · 05/10/2023 10:37

My mum's brother split with his wife almost 40 years ago. My mum was very close to her and they remain the best of friends to this day. She just doesn't rub it in my Uncles face, nor his now wife. Your friends are your choice. You can just deal with it by keeping by being diplomatic and not overtly in his face I think.

itsmeafterall · 05/10/2023 20:57

I'm friends with my SIL (she's on here, so hello if she's recognised me! Smile). I'm very happy with that as by BIL is an ignorant idiot /arse who ignores me and my children and did so long before the divorce.

She and my DN are lovely and I'm glad they are part of our lives Smile

Deadringer · 05/10/2023 21:19

My sil went on holiday with two of my sisters and cheated on him with several different men. My sisters said nothing to him as they had young dc but within a year she had left him and the kids to move in with another man. When he dumped her she asked the dc (about 5 and 7 at the time) to beg their dad to take her back. He did eventually but they broke up again when she pissed off with another bloke. So no, we aren't friends.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 14/10/2023 18:28

My BIL left my SIL for a man. She never wants to hear from any of us ever, ever again and honestly, I don't blame her.

Pippipumpkin · 14/10/2023 18:34

My exh left me for someone else. I am still friends with my in-laws. I appreciate some of that is to see the DC, but I do appreciate the contact I still have with them. They were like family to me and we have a nice relationship.

Pinkshoppingbag · 14/10/2023 19:15

allfurcoatnoknickers · 14/10/2023 18:28

My BIL left my SIL for a man. She never wants to hear from any of us ever, ever again and honestly, I don't blame her.

Lol, you posted this back when the thread originally started. Only realised as I've just read the whole thread for the first time and recognised your story Grin

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