Official Sixth Form rejection email. Knew it was coming, but still :(

[GCSEstress]

Hi,

So DD got her mock results a while a go and only had 4 5's or above and needed at least 5. She did get a couple of 6's and overall, I was very proud of her and she worked so hard, so it's really going to be a real kick in the teeth when she sees this rejection in writing later, although we knew the criteria, so was obviously expected.

She's not actually expected to pass Maths and this is by far her weakest subject and she needs to pass this. It honestly makes me so cross that this could hold her back from going far in the subjects she is naturally good at, such as English and Art. Seems so unfair and nonsensical!

Trying not to be too negative, as she does only need 1 more 5 as it stands, but that still won't guarantee her a place.

We've obviously looked at other sixth forms and colleges, but they either have tougher entry requirements or the courses (not A level) are just not what DD is interested in.

How can I best support DD through this? She's likely on the autistic spectrum and struggles to build new friendships, so staying at her current school is definitely her preference, but also just for general familiarity, not just friendships.

Be great to hear from those of you with experience of this.

Thanks 😊

Foundation level is gcse curriculum to a level where you can achieve max grade 5. Functional Skills is Numeracy and Literacy courses which focus on practical understanding of key skills , an alternative to gcse. Most schools will not offer it though.
www.gov.uk/government/publications/functional-skills-subject-content-mathematics

The reason I asked if she had any thoughts about her longer term future was because I do wonder if sixth form is going to be the best fit for her.

If art is her thing, she may find an FE college is better.

As an aside this is what frustrates me about all children studying maths to 18. If we want a functioning economy encouraging people to get better at things they have a talent for would serve us better than making them resit maths for ever and a day!

@Sublimeursula off handedly? I'm not going to start defending or explaining. I'm not really sure what your input is? Are you simply saying it is my fault that she is struggling? When you have so little information?....

My daughter is also likely (well actually definitely autistic).

Diagnosis are not easy to get and involve multiple referral rejections and wiating lists and letters from CAMHS which state they are only seeing children in immediate danger of suicide.

We paid a lot of money to get ds diagnosed privately, money that many people don;t have.

@LIZS yes, that was my understanding with foundation. Ah, I guess that's why nobody has mentioned it before. Thank you.

As PP said, Functional skills is a separate qualification that may be offered in college if she gets a 2 or below for GCSE maths. If she gets a 3 she will have to resit the GCSE as long as she stays in college.

Where I live it is all colleges, and students often have a commute of an hour to get there.

@Comefromaway exactly.

@Sublimeursula and what I am saying is you have no idea whether or not I have previously pursued, am currently pursuing or anything actually. Your comment was very patronising and rude quite frankly.

Have you tried going through the system to get a diagnosis? It’s one brick wall after another. Unless your child’s needs are extreme (like not being able to read at 12, or they’re throwing furniture or something) they’ll fob you off till kingdom come. And after that the help you do get is often barely worth the hassle.

It’s no surprise that those with less obvious needs end up just coping, or bodging their education.

My DS is dyslexic but struggles with working memory so this presents itself in maths. He’s doing the foundation maths where max you can get is a 5. But the paper is much easier.

I wonder if this is still an option? More chance of getting a 4/5 and the school may then take her. Lots at DS private school do this for maths then go on to focus on A-levels that they are strong at.

@DatasCat completely agree with you.

@Delatron she is doing the foundation paper already, but is finding that challenging too.

I honestly do think if you're in the bottom set in a subject, you're basically just written off. Every maths teacher she has had always just tell me what a lovely girl she is, but never seem to have a real interest in helping her. A lot of the kids in the lower sets will have behavioural problems and so it sounds as though they're just being babysat for an hour.

What is the basis on which your daughter gets the extra time in exams?

If you can show that she has a disability you might be able to argue that they need to make further reasonable adjustments for that disability including more support in lessons and allowances on entry criteria. Is she on the pathway for an ASD diagnosis, and do you know when that might happen?

what I am saying is that you suspect your child is autistic, even for their sake, both as a child and as an adult - you pursue a diagnosis because a great deal drops out of a diagnosis to the benefit of your child

A cruel irony is that ADHD and ASD tends to run in families. Often the very parents who are required to push for a diagnosis and navigate a mangled system are those who have their own challenges.

Does DD have a prompt if she struggles with time management in exams? If not then I would definitely ask about that for her if it might help. Basically it means someone will tell her when she has 1hr, 30 mins and 15 minutes left, they will also remind her to move on if she starts obviously day dreaming or gets stuck on one question for too long.

I also agree with the pp who recommended the CGP books, they lay everything out very clearly and for DS with ASD and dyspraxia it made life a lot easier than trying to make sense of his notes. It also made planning revision easier because I could say to him - read through chapter 2 in your maths book. I think there are also work books which she could use to practise as well.

There are also some great teachers on youtube to go through things - Mr Salles for English and Primrose Kitten for science spring to mind but I'm sure she/you could find some math vids for her to watch. I supported DS a lot through his revision as he has issues with planning, organisation etc and it definitely paid off.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her!

No advice beyond what has already been said but wanted to add you praising the effort and your DD giving 100% in the face of challenges are very good traits 👍 Lots of evidence to show rewarding the effort and not just results are characteristics that serve people well throughout their lives and future careers.

I know of a businesses taking on lots of apprentice roles. they recognise there are many young people who haven’t got ‘the grades’ but are very capable and demonstrate the right attitudes. Similarly they take on grads and can’t always manage their expectations so there is certainly a shift happening in some businesses for many decent roles.

Not true at all, access arrangements are not dependent on diagnosis, they are dependent on need.

DS has ASD and does not get any extra time in exams or any support of any sort.

@Choconut yes, I knew this was not true at all. I know plenty of dc who have had a diagnosis for years, but still struggle to access help that they're supposed to be entitled to.

@GCSEstress

Is DD expecting this letter? If she isn't I wouldn't even show her it if it will bring her down, not motivate her.

if it were me (with only the information given) I would find out as much as I could about the 'brilliant college' and if there's a chance she could get in, I'd talk to her about that and that her friends are all going to other schools too etc.

I do an hour & a half (return) twice a day, for a child to go to a college. She's not mine & I do get paid for it, but I'd do it for mine if needed & I could. Also, as you said, moving is a possibility.

best of luck 🌷

@JugglingJanuary it's an email unfortunately, so she will see it.

I had a chat with her when she got back, just to kind of soften the blow, but also to explain properly that it's not a definite no. If she still wants to go there and gets that extra 5 then she can still apply.

I really am starting to think it might not be for her now anyway though.

I feel for you OP. I haven't been in exactly the same situation but have been through the stress of one of my DCs being rejected from degree courses that they had dreamed of and worked (very hard) towards for many years. It's a really tough situation as it's difficult to know how to approach it without denting their already fragile self esteem further.
The way we ended up looking at it was that if an establishment didn't feel that you were right for their course, then there is a pretty good chance that their course is not right for you either. If you have to kind of force yourself to become a square peg to fit their square holes then you're never going to be truly comfortable anyway. Better to find somewhere that has round holes for the round peg that is you, even if that means you have to change your views and consider options that you've never thought about. My DC ended up being very happy with where they actually went, and it did suit them much better than if they had just scraped into their original preferred courses where they would almost certainly have been stressed and just hanging on by their fingernails all the way. They're actually now doing better professionally than some of their friends who did get into the more prestigious places, because they have found their niche.
Alternatives to A levels, and a different place may be exactly what your DD needs. Yes, you need to ensure she is getting all the support she needs and is entitled to to help her get the best GCSE results she can, and you need to help her look into options for her post 16 education but it might be better to view those as separate issues, rather than "she needs to achieve X at A level in order to get into 6th form". A levels, particularly in that environment might not be the best choice for her even if she does achieve X.
There's still time. Focus on getting her through the exams, look at everywhere that is even a possible option and try to keep an open mind as you may find places that don't look great on paper but actually provide something that suits your DD down to the ground.

@MrsAvocet thank you. Really pleased to hear it turned out well for your DC 🙂

If its a state school they're not allowed to do this. See my replies to you on the Secondary Education thread. If she gets the minimum grades for sixth form, her current school can't off-roll her, they have to let her transfer.