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Original poster

Anyone with advice for super sensitive DS in sports?

59 replies

PayPennies · 29/01/2023 14:50

DS is 7 and plays football and cricket for local clubs at Under 8s. I wouldn’t say he’s very sporty or anything (I mean he’s very good with academics but isn’t particularly sporty). But the issue we are having is that him being very sensitive is getting in the way of all his training sessions and matches. It takes the slightest knock and then we have “but that boy was unfair!” Or “he hit me/kicked me/slightly bowled too fast” - and then floods of tears and really does then find it difficult to brush aside and join in again.

we don’t want him to think it’s not okay to cry, or not ok to find something unfair - well - unfair - but he does need to build some form of resilience for these things we feel.

completely withdrawing him from any and all sport doesn’t feel right but then again we are struggling to see how to get him to have chin up/let some things go a bit :/

any advice?

OP posts:
ChicoryDip · 30/01/2023 00:02

DS plays sport at a high level. He's calm on the pitch, shrugs off poor refereeing decisions, encourages team mates and demonstrates resilience when they are losing, keeps his head up and keeps going.

However, 10 years ago I could have written your post. We had a child who got upset at any perceived injustice, cried easily, often had to be substituted and, whilst I'm not proud of this, I frequently threatened to take them out of the sport because I was fed up of having the only child that seemed to be upset for half of the training session/game.

What changed? I think DC just grew up and matured. We talked a lot about winning and losing, watched a lot of sport and talked about how the referees have a tough job, and just kept going.

I still believe that being involved in sport is important to kids, no matter what level they play at. I am a huge believer in learning teamwork, discipline and resilience through sport and promoting an active lifestyle. It's tough when it's not going well but my advice would be to try to stick with it, talk lots and keep in mind that it will get better.

Original poster
PayPennies · 30/01/2023 06:25

ChicoryDip · 30/01/2023 00:02

DS plays sport at a high level. He's calm on the pitch, shrugs off poor refereeing decisions, encourages team mates and demonstrates resilience when they are losing, keeps his head up and keeps going.

However, 10 years ago I could have written your post. We had a child who got upset at any perceived injustice, cried easily, often had to be substituted and, whilst I'm not proud of this, I frequently threatened to take them out of the sport because I was fed up of having the only child that seemed to be upset for half of the training session/game.

What changed? I think DC just grew up and matured. We talked a lot about winning and losing, watched a lot of sport and talked about how the referees have a tough job, and just kept going.

I still believe that being involved in sport is important to kids, no matter what level they play at. I am a huge believer in learning teamwork, discipline and resilience through sport and promoting an active lifestyle. It's tough when it's not going well but my advice would be to try to stick with it, talk lots and keep in mind that it will get better.

Wow thank you that’s hugely reassuring to read. Glad that your DS grew to develop some of these skills you mention and can manage his emotions in different ways.

OP posts:

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Original poster
PayPennies · 30/01/2023 06:25

ChicoryDip · 30/01/2023 00:02

DS plays sport at a high level. He's calm on the pitch, shrugs off poor refereeing decisions, encourages team mates and demonstrates resilience when they are losing, keeps his head up and keeps going.

However, 10 years ago I could have written your post. We had a child who got upset at any perceived injustice, cried easily, often had to be substituted and, whilst I'm not proud of this, I frequently threatened to take them out of the sport because I was fed up of having the only child that seemed to be upset for half of the training session/game.

What changed? I think DC just grew up and matured. We talked a lot about winning and losing, watched a lot of sport and talked about how the referees have a tough job, and just kept going.

I still believe that being involved in sport is important to kids, no matter what level they play at. I am a huge believer in learning teamwork, discipline and resilience through sport and promoting an active lifestyle. It's tough when it's not going well but my advice would be to try to stick with it, talk lots and keep in mind that it will get better.

Wow thank you that’s hugely reassuring to read. Glad that your DS grew to develop some of these skills you mention and can manage his emotions in different ways.

OP posts:
Original poster
PayPennies · 30/01/2023 06:25

ChicoryDip · 30/01/2023 00:02

DS plays sport at a high level. He's calm on the pitch, shrugs off poor refereeing decisions, encourages team mates and demonstrates resilience when they are losing, keeps his head up and keeps going.

However, 10 years ago I could have written your post. We had a child who got upset at any perceived injustice, cried easily, often had to be substituted and, whilst I'm not proud of this, I frequently threatened to take them out of the sport because I was fed up of having the only child that seemed to be upset for half of the training session/game.

What changed? I think DC just grew up and matured. We talked a lot about winning and losing, watched a lot of sport and talked about how the referees have a tough job, and just kept going.

I still believe that being involved in sport is important to kids, no matter what level they play at. I am a huge believer in learning teamwork, discipline and resilience through sport and promoting an active lifestyle. It's tough when it's not going well but my advice would be to try to stick with it, talk lots and keep in mind that it will get better.

Wow thank you that’s hugely reassuring to read. Glad that your DS grew to develop some of these skills you mention and can manage his emotions in different ways.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 30/01/2023 06:51

PayPennies · 29/01/2023 15:06

All good ideas. Yes he’s got a 3 year old sibling - and there again a sense of profound justice/injustice comes into play between him and her. A very good day might become him being really upset if she’s perceived to have got a pen that’s brighter/more colourful etc. so it isn’t specific to a sport but more a very high degree of sensitivity …

So he only gets upset if he thinks he's losing out? Is he the sane if you beat him at games? He needs to learn to lose and he needs to learn things are sometimes unfair. Sport is good for that. The good news is that as he grows older, he will get more sense that he's not the centre of the universe and these feelings won't be as intense.

ChicoryDip · 30/01/2023 07:32

Wow thank you that’s hugely reassuring to read. Glad that your DS grew to develop some of these skills you mention and can manage his emotions in different ways.

He's still quite black and white but I do think a lot is just emotional maturity and DC was later to develop this than some others. It's hard for parents though, stick with it.

Triffid1 · 30/01/2023 07:40

I think teaching this sort of resilience is your job. As someone who hated it when other children didn't play by the rules etx, I get it. But its an important lesson.

If you are consistent and calm - "yes, it's irritating when the ref doesn't see that.but that's how sport works" I think the lesson does sink in.

At this age, I think a word with the coach can help too ito asking to keep an eye on your kid etc. We have a couple.of boys in ds' activity won't various times we have put a but of extra effort in for because they were struggling.

kateandme · 30/01/2023 09:58

Trouble is it sounds like hes a really over sensitive child( it happens) and the age where they are like this anyway! And you don't want to stop or hurt the sensitive side whilst stopping the spoilt child side!

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