When your beloved parent is about to pass away and you know that you're about to be sad forever.

[QueenJacinda]

What on earth can make you feel better? 😢

I often sit and think of this moment and it really upsets me to imagine it. My DM is my best friend, I see her every single day. I don't really have many friends that I'm close enough to so whenever it's mine or her birthday, when ever I have good news to celebrate, whenever I'm feeling low or if there's a new movie at the cinema or anything which you'd normally do with a best friend, I always go to her, always with her. She has an incredible bond with my DS too which is just so beautiful.
I dread what you're going through. I often tell myself I know I am going to be completely lost without her and I don't know how I'll cope without her.
I really really feel for you OP, sending hugs and strength ❤️

My thoughts too. 2 years today was her funeral. I still think about her often, and when strange things happen (and they have been since she died) I tell her to cut it out!

Still have the odd tear, like now, but It does ease.

Don't feel bad. Sometimes it's just like that. When my mum died she was very old and frail and ready to go, and I didn't grieve much at all, but have fond memories. It's not fair to feel like you should be grieving more than you are, it's an unneeded pressure.
My dad was abusive and I didn't grieve for him at all really.
My brother however, I grieved deeply, but we were very close and he went well before his time. But like a PP I'm very happy now.

Generally, I don't think we should let grief define us. Death can be devastating but it is part of life and life goes on. We can carry our loved ones in our hearts and memories, but still enjoy life.

You never forget them but you are filled with fond memories. You will have times you're sad and miss them and things will bring back memories but it gets easier and you definitely won't be sad forever.

@Charley50 thanks - my dad was also very abusive and is unfortunately still alive - but my mum more than made up for it and I used to say I loved her enough for two parents. I know I was an excellent daughter. She was an excellent mother. She’s worth every tear but despite this being the moment I’ve dreaded all my life I’m actually ok. I feel I’m doing her a disservice. And she wasn’t old only in her seventies ffs. Maybe I’ve catastrophised her death so much throughout my life that I can’t believe it’s ok

Maybe you feel she is just kind of 'with you' so you don't feel a deep grief, as she is still there. Or maybe you just know you loved her and she loved you, and life goes on, and that's enough? A parent dying is the natural order of things and I think grieving deeply for a period of time. or not grieving too much, are both normal types of grief.

When grief takes over your life for years on end, that is classed as 'complicated grief.'

Beautiful reply x