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Original poster

How old for sleepovers?

43 replies

ilkleymoorbartat · 26/01/2023 15:35

What age did your kids first have sleepovers at friends?

I'm not massively into the idea generally, but my son (8) is in cubs and it's been suggested he has a sleepover at a friends in preparation for cubs camps. I see the logic, but wondering if he's still a bit young still.

OP posts:
Frumpymumma · 26/01/2023 15:49

My ds had them from about age 6.
Dd age 4 has them at her cousins regularly.

Toomanybirthdays · 26/01/2023 15:51

Reception class for my children. Never a problem and they had fun.

Original poster
ilkleymoorbartat · 26/01/2023 15:51

Yes, we've done family / cousin sleepover before. Should have been explicit that this would be at a friends.

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emmathedilemma · 26/01/2023 15:51

Has he ever stayed overnight anywhere without you e.g. grandparents or family? If so, I think a night with a close friend is probably not a bad idea before cub camp.

MummyDummyNow · 26/01/2023 15:59

I think my eldest was 6 for her first one, and most of her friends had already had sleepovers by then. But all children are different, does your DS want a sleepover?

Original poster
ilkleymoorbartat · 26/01/2023 16:03

I think he'd be excited to go tbh. His friends haven't really done sleepovers yet so it's all a bit new for us.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 26/01/2023 16:06

My ds went to PGL at 9 and loved it, once he got there.

He didn't like staying in other people's houses though, he says they smelt funny 🤔

Original poster
ilkleymoorbartat · 26/01/2023 16:07

😂 @MintJulia I remember that as a kid.

OP posts:
budgiegirl · 26/01/2023 23:52

It depends on your child. My two boys at that age loved a sleepover at a friends, but my DD didn't really enjoy the until she got to secondary school.

If you do want to send your child on a cub camp, then having a sleepover at a friends can be a good idea to help them get used to sleeping away from you, and to see how he copes. But if you think he's too young to do a sleepover, then presumably you also think he's too young for cub camp, so it becomes a bit pointless then.

smoosandsmed · 26/01/2023 23:56

Never!

My dc can have people stay here all they want.

I will never let them stay over at other peoples houses who we hardly know? It's weird. Do you know their parents well?

Opine · 27/01/2023 00:13

@smoosandsmed I agree. Not only weird but reckless.

Reception?? 🤯

clipclop5 · 27/01/2023 00:20

DD was a very clingy and shy child so she only started having them at age 11 when she got to secondary school. Was nervous for her first but she ended up absolutely loving them and was constantly at them right through secondary

Topbird29 · 27/01/2023 00:25

Why not have a friend over for a sleepover at yours first? Then your DS can be more comfortable with the idea, and maybe then have a reciprocal sleepover at his friend's? My DS had sleepovers from around 8. Was useful prior to cub camp at that age, and was his best friend. I was also friends with his parents, so that helps. Meant was easier when he went on week long school residential in September (start of yr 6).

BigYellowElephant · 27/01/2023 00:42

Dd1 was having sleepovers with my best friend and her daughter from 4/5 but not with anyone else until I'd really got to know the parents so more like 8/9. Shes 14 now and I'm still not keen on her having sleepovers when the family are complete strangers, I try and tempt them all to come here instead and it often works

Nevermindthesquirrels · 27/01/2023 00:54

Depends on the child. DD is 14 and never liked them. I'd suggest a friend stays round first and than they swap. Alternatively you can start with a 'lateover' where your DS stays until 11pm or midnight and you pick them up. My DD tends to prefer that but she hates waking up at other people's houses so it's a little different.
I think sleepovers are a lot different to camp. DD goes to scout type camp every year and loves it. Everyone is in the same position, under the same rules. Sleepovers are very weird unless you're super comfortable at the home. What if you wake up early, what if you need a poo, what if you're hungry etc etc. I wouldn't say a sleepover will prepare your child for camp especially well, as it's just so different.

LadyJ2023 · 27/01/2023 01:25

Unfortunately in this day and age ours are close family sleep overs only.

mackthepony · 27/01/2023 01:37

Same as Lady.

I have no idea why you would let your child stay at a stranger's home. Also, they could invite anyone over that night too

Original poster
ilkleymoorbartat · 27/01/2023 07:15

The parents aren't strangers. They're friends, and the mother is a teacher.

OP posts:
SouperNoodle · 27/01/2023 07:22

My eldest dd is 4 (nearly 5) and has sleepovers with no problems. We regularly have her friends to stay here as well.

Bbq1 · 27/01/2023 07:55

mackthepony · 27/01/2023 01:37

Same as Lady.

I have no idea why you would let your child stay at a stranger's home. Also, they could invite anyone over that night too

They are usually friends of the children /teens and at age 8 you definitely would know the parents. Calling them "strangers" is ridiculous, making it sound as if a random passerby has taken them for a sleepover. The comment about the patents inviting anyone over is also an over reaction. They won't be inviting a predator over because your child is there.

Nevermindthesquirrels · 27/01/2023 07:59

LadyJ2023 · 27/01/2023 01:25

Unfortunately in this day and age ours are close family sleep overs only.

If this is because of fear of abuse than I'm afraid this most often happens through family, not at a sleepover with a non family member. Abusers use trust to get what they want, it's rare for that to happen at a random house.

Original poster
ilkleymoorbartat · 27/01/2023 08:00

I'm more worried about any abuse going on at a scout camp tbh. Which is why dp will probably be volunteering to go it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilkleymoorbartat · 27/01/2023 08:02

But I think there's a balance to be had with safeguarding your child and also giving them a tiny amount of freedom (of which they have barely in any this day and age).

For example, my kids never play out on the street like some kids are able to.

OP posts:
Flatandhappy · 27/01/2023 08:12

My three were never big sleepover fans tbh, there was probably 1-2 places each they would feel comfortable and these were families I knew really well. 8/9 was probably the age it first came up. DS2 refused to go on camps so his beavers/cubs experience was short lived. It caused DD not to be invited to some parties as she got older as they were sleepovers but the mums who knew her well were always happy for her to stay until bedtime and I would pick her up. Tbh if I had had the job I have now when my kids were younger I would never have allowed them to sleep anywhere but at home!

PuttingDownRoots · 27/01/2023 08:24

If DH wants to go on Scout camp he will need to get his DBS check etc... and still won't be sleeping near your child.

Scout leaders have all done training such as as Safeguarding and first aid as well as DBS checks.

We get a lot of kids on camp while never slept away from home. We got the odd bit of homesickness. I've rang home for a Teddy before. Never had any need to leave for that reason.

We don't usually do random sleepovers however as it seems most children have sport at weekends now.