"Your mum" or use her name

[NewFriday]

When talking to an adult daughter about her mother, someone you know well would you call her "your mum" or use her name.

I appreciate it's not the biggest issue in the world but neither seems right.

The elderly mother, who I've known forever is in hospital. Do you say "best wishes to your mum" or "best wishes to Violet"?

Your mum.

I do both, call her ' Mum' or ' Carol' to her face and when referring to her in conversation with others. There's no rhyme of reason to it. Thinking of how my friends are I would say the majority do the same. The women more so than the men, though.

As an adult, I refer to my friend's parents by their names. I'd be far more likely to say ' Give 'Sue my love' than I would 'Give your mum my love.'

I always say your mum.

Your mum feels perfectly normal and using the name feels strange to me.

I’d say your mum, particularly if I’d known them since childhood as throughout my life she wouldn’t have been Gladys or Mrs Burns she’d have been ‘Jens mum’ and that’s how I would always think of her.

I always use (or did before she passed) 'mum'. I never used her name, that would have felt very weird!

Your mum.

Your mum. Mum (or dad) are in effect the person's first name to their children.

Depends how well I know their mum. If I know them well, as a person, I use their name. If their relationship to me is definitely 'friends mum' then I'd say 'your mum'.

Except DH, he calls his mum by her name, but we still refer to each others mum's as 'your mum' in that weird teenage tone because it's become an in-joke.

You can say "your mother" if you want to be a bit more respectful/formal.

Your mum

Maybe this is why it feels odd. I didn't meet mother until daughter had long left home. I've only really come to know daughter as mother has got older and frailer, now well into her 80s.

your mother

I.e I've never really known her as daughter's mum.

E.g. in a work situation I'd say "your mother" to show respect/not be inappropriately informal.

If your primary relationship was with this lady’s mother, then I would use the lady’s name. If your primary relationship was with the daughter then I would say ‘your mother’.

If someone said 'best wishes to' and then my mom's name I would wonder who they were talking about. I never think of my mom as her Christian name!

I have known my three close friend's mothers since we were all at school (we are now in our 60s with mothers in their late 80s or 90s) and all of us use our mother's names when talking talking about them so that seems natural. But if it was a newer friend and I barely knew their mother I would say 'your mother', I don't think I'd use 'mum'.

clean I always use my mother's Christian name ... I don't want to call out 'mum' to my 90 year old mother ... eg; when I was trying to attract her attention in the John Lewis coffee shop last week! .

I actually think it's quite important for children to know their parents' names ... obviously not for me (!!) but I can recall trying to help a lost child and when asking for their mother's name could only say 'mummy'.

“You mother” I am of an age where my friends mothers were all referred to as Mrs x. I don’t think I even knew their first names.

Yo momma

Your mother or mum. You are thereby emphasising the relationship between them.

Yes, this. I mean, either is fine, obviously, but I think this is how I (unconsciously) do it.

Though just thinking that yesterday I ran into the mother of one of my son's friends on the school run. I know her mother separately from the school run, as she is more often the one picking up the children, so I suppose I don't primarily think of them as a mother-daughter duo -- I said 'Say hi to Linda', rather than 'Say hi to your mum'.

Yes and I think this is why this one feel weird. She's not my friend's mum, she's my friend.

Your mum.