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How do rescue centres work ? Do you just go there and drop off?

62 replies

CarrotsInthesun · 23/01/2023 17:37

Just as the title says-do you just take a dog there? Do you have to book a space? Do you have to pay?

Don’t want any judgement as have been put in a difficult position and there’s no alternative as I would never use anything like gumtree etc but I can’t keep this dog !

MIL has been ill and In hospital, DP took her dog to look after knowing full well I’m allergic and scared of dogs too, knowing that he works full time so expecting me to look after it. I told him the day he came back to go and get a place in kennels he refused. he promised her and she wants to still be able to see the dog but she’s going to be moving to a nursing home and I cannot cope anymore.

After he criticised me for getting a crate and ‘not doing enough’ for the dog I said he had a week to find alternative care either a relative or kennels and he’s laughed or I would have to take him to a rehoming centre and he is due to go away on business and I’m really serious. I said to him it’s making me ill daily. I don’t know what I’m meant to do though just turn up and sign the dog over ? It’s not in my name though but I can’t have him in my house any longer and nobody is listening !!!!

OP posts:
Weepingwillows12 · 23/01/2023 17:40

Your DH sounds awful. I haven't used them but I think Cinammon Trust specialise in care for dogs who's owners get ill and can't look after them? Why don't you ring them for advice?

CarrotsInthesun · 23/01/2023 17:41

Weepingwillows12 · 23/01/2023 17:40

Your DH sounds awful. I haven't used them but I think Cinammon Trust specialise in care for dogs who's owners get ill and can't look after them? Why don't you ring them for advice?

Thanks will try them

OP posts:
Flymetothetoon · 23/01/2023 17:44

Keep the dog and re home the 'D'H.

Interested in this thread?

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hoochyhag · 23/01/2023 17:44

Yep I've used cinnamon trust they are awesome.
Similar situation to yours.
They put the little dog with a breed rescue, the estate had to pick up the vets bills though. The dog was in a poor state, owner had dementia.

CarrotsInthesun · 23/01/2023 17:47

Flymetothetoon · 23/01/2023 17:44

Keep the dog and re home the 'D'H.

😂 if he didn’t make me so ill I would I have severe asthma and it’s been awful plus my eyes are swollen and itchy daily it’s hell . Dp says I’ll ‘get used to it’ . When he complains that he shouldn’t have to pick up all the shit each day I told him he will get used to it.
he said I’m not doing enough!! Of course I’m not going to ignore the dog so let him out to the garden etc but dh doesn’t like that I’m not picking up after him too !!!

OP posts:
CatOnTheChair · 23/01/2023 17:47

Ring the centre first.
IME they will always try to help, but may not have space immediately.

I also think you will struggle to remove an animal that isn't yours.

I hope you find a solution. Your partner is being awful.

Sprig1 · 23/01/2023 17:49

Your best bet would be to call around. Some rescues will have space, some won't. They will probably want you to fill out a form when you drop it off, telling them what you know about the dogs, it's history, behaviours etc. It gives them the best chance of placing the dog in the right home if they know as much about it as possible.

Extendivecover · 23/01/2023 17:49

Flymetothetoon · 23/01/2023 17:44

Keep the dog and re home the 'D'H.

Why should she keep a dog she's been lumbered with, find it a loving home elsewhere

MarshaMelrose · 23/01/2023 17:51

You can't rehome it. It's not yours. You need to get permission from your MIL. Then, you ring and they go on a waiting list to go in.

Tamarindtree · 23/01/2023 17:51

Are you anywhere near Chaldon Animal Sanctuary? They are in Caterham.

www.chaldonanimalsanctuary.co.uk

EezyOozy · 23/01/2023 17:52

You can't rehome it. It's not yours. You need to get permission from your MIL.

and if MIL says no?

MarshaMelrose · 23/01/2023 17:53

EezyOozy · 23/01/2023 17:52

You can't rehome it. It's not yours. You need to get permission from your MIL.

and if MIL says no?

You can't rehome someone else's animal. Because the owner can then come forward and say I want my animal.back.

Ihatethenewlook · 23/01/2023 17:56

MarshaMelrose · 23/01/2023 17:51

You can't rehome it. It's not yours. You need to get permission from your MIL. Then, you ring and they go on a waiting list to go in.

Of course she can. Mil is going into a nursing home and is incapable of looking after her own dog. She should be given the option of finding a new home for the dog, but if the mil can’t then what’s the alternative? The op doesn’t have to keep it forever.

Op you need to phone the rescue first to see if there’s space and if/when you can drop it off. They’ll need as much detail as you can give them so they can find a suitable home.

AppleKatie · 23/01/2023 17:56

So practically what is she meant to do in this situation?

other than leave her DH- which tbh with his attitude I would be tempted…

LucyFox · 23/01/2023 17:57

I would sit your husband down and tell him quite bluntly either the dog goes, or you go. If he’s not willing to get rid of the dog I would be looking for new accommodation & speaking to a solicitor- he’s proven that he does not care about you if he is not taking your health concerns seriously
Don’t think that just getting rid of the dog will be the end to this – he’ll resent you for a long time

ultimately if DH goes away with no plan for care of the dog the animal will need to be reported abandoned to a vet, RSPCA, rescue etc

Flymetothetoon · 23/01/2023 17:57

@Extendivecover lighten up love - my comment was tongue in cheek.

EezyOozy · 23/01/2023 17:57

@MarshaMelrose but she’s not obligated to keep it in her home if she didn’t agree to having it / is allergic.

The DH sounds like a prize prick here …. Other than cinnamon trust or similar, if she’s lucky, what’s she meant to do? Move out?!

titchy · 23/01/2023 17:57

Can't you call the police and declare the dog abandoned?

And abandon the bloke while you're at it.

NalaNana · 23/01/2023 17:57

There has to be another way here. You can't seriously rehome this dog without the consent of your partner (or knowledge of MIL!) when he's away on business?! If you genuinely cannot live in the house with the dog then tell your partner that and either he will need to leave with the dog, you'll leave, or he'll need to find other arrangements for it. I understand this dog is a pest to you, but dogs are so loved by their owners and your plan is awful!

EezyOozy · 23/01/2023 17:59

People are actually telling the Op to move out of her own home so that the dog can live there ?!

Flymetothetoon · 23/01/2023 17:59

What breed is the dog/ how old?

icanwearwhatiwant · 23/01/2023 17:59

EezyOozy · 23/01/2023 17:52

You can't rehome it. It's not yours. You need to get permission from your MIL.

and if MIL says no?

Then she has a choice, you will choose kennels for the dog where she will be well treated and arrange for them to send MIL or "D"H the bill. Or you take it to a rescue and help it find a home that actually wants and can take care of it.

You are absolutely not obliged to care for an animal that is making you sick. Your "D"H sounds awful and I'm guessing this is the top of the ice-berg so maybe you need to find a rehoming centre for him too?

MarshaMelrose · 23/01/2023 18:02

Ihatethenewlook · 23/01/2023 17:56

Of course she can. Mil is going into a nursing home and is incapable of looking after her own dog. She should be given the option of finding a new home for the dog, but if the mil can’t then what’s the alternative? The op doesn’t have to keep it forever.

Op you need to phone the rescue first to see if there’s space and if/when you can drop it off. They’ll need as much detail as you can give them so they can find a suitable home.

You can't rehome an animal without the permission of the owner. No reputable homing charity would do that. That's why you sign forms when you go in declaring that it's yours.

Smartiepants79 · 23/01/2023 18:02

NalaNana · 23/01/2023 17:57

There has to be another way here. You can't seriously rehome this dog without the consent of your partner (or knowledge of MIL!) when he's away on business?! If you genuinely cannot live in the house with the dog then tell your partner that and either he will need to leave with the dog, you'll leave, or he'll need to find other arrangements for it. I understand this dog is a pest to you, but dogs are so loved by their owners and your plan is awful!

Why in hell should she have to leave her own home because someone has dumped (against her express wishes) somebody else’s dog on her????
This dog is NOT her responsibility.
Stop trying to guilt her into keeping it. It’s making her ill and she did not choose it. Dogs my be ‘loved by their owners’ but she is not it’s owner.

EezyOozy · 23/01/2023 18:05

Might help op

themayhew.org/community-support/pet-refuge/

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