How do rescue centres work ? Do you just go there and drop off?

[CarrotsInthesun]

Just as the title says-do you just take a dog there? Do you have to book a space? Do you have to pay?

Don’t want any judgement as have been put in a difficult position and there’s no alternative as I would never use anything like gumtree etc but I can’t keep this dog !

MIL has been ill and In hospital, DP took her dog to look after knowing full well I’m allergic and scared of dogs too, knowing that he works full time so expecting me to look after it. I told him the day he came back to go and get a place in kennels he refused. he promised her and she wants to still be able to see the dog but she’s going to be moving to a nursing home and I cannot cope anymore.

After he criticised me for getting a crate and ‘not doing enough’ for the dog I said he had a week to find alternative care either a relative or kennels and he’s laughed or I would have to take him to a rehoming centre and he is due to go away on business and I’m really serious. I said to him it’s making me ill daily. I don’t know what I’m meant to do though just turn up and sign the dog over ? It’s not in my name though but I can’t have him in my house any longer and nobody is listening !!!!

@Smartiepants79 this dog has already had upheaval due it's owners ill health, it's not fair on the dog, the partner or the MIL for it to be dropped off at a rescue centre without their knowledge.

You've assumed that it's her home, it might be his home, or it might be their home (OP referred to him as her partner not her husband) so yes, if she cannot live with that dog, and her partner won't get rid of it, either she, or the partner and the dog will have to leave.

I don't know what she can do with the dog buy that's not the animal home's responsibility.

Say you had a cat and it kept hanging round your neighbours garden, pooing. So they took it diwon to the local cats home and asked them to rehome it, do you think they'd do it? Er, no. Of course not. You cant rehome other people's animals. They need to get authority from the mil.

She can declare the dog abandoned and have it picked up by the warden. The mil can’t have it both ways. She’s either responsible for the dog and needs to take responsibility for the dog, or she’s not and therefore the op is free to get it taken away if not privately rehomed. Even boarding kennels have the power to give peoples pets to a rescue if they’re not collected on time. No one can be forced to keep an animal that they don’t want and which isn’t theirs.

Of course she can lie. Nothing clever or original about that. The warden can take it to the stray dogs kennel and it can be put to sleep after 7 days. Proper job there. Well done!

@MarshaMelrose is right, it’s not her dog and no rescue will take it on until it’s been signed over by the MIL.

@CarrotsInthesun
there are some pet friendly retirement homes
housingcare.org/elderly-uk-pet-friendly-homes

also please contact Cinnamon trust

My mum died in august leaving behind 2 terriers and I've been trying to rehome them since then as her house has been sold, Christ it's been a mission, everywhere was full, they've finally gone to a local centre today and the keys for her house get handed over tomorrow 🤦‍♀️

How long have you had the dog?

Your DH is acting like a twat but if his mums been ill in hospital and is now going into a care home then he could be struggling with it all.

The dog will obviously be extra special to him now.

Of course you can’t stay loving like this but I know if this was my mum I’d want my partner to be a bit more understanding.

Look up rescue centres and try and find ones that specialise in older dogs or the dogs breed.
Then just give them a ring and explain the situation and if they’ve got room they will take them.
They don’t ask for a donation usually but I would offer one.

It's a rubbish situation, but it sounds like it is in the dog's best interests to be rehomed. Better it goes to a home where people want it.

Speak to the rescue centre; it's common for there to be a waiting list, especially at the moment when demand for rescue space is outstripping supply. They'll want to know everything you can tell them about the dog; any likes and dislikes, any behavioural issues, medical history, and so on. Be completely honest with them; it will help them find the right home for the dog.

There won't be a requirement to pay, but if you can then making a donation would be much appreciated; they're voluntary organisations, rely on fundraising and invariably spend significantly more on each dog than the adoption fee.

We rehomed an exotic pet when a relative went into a nursing home and none of us could keep it either. I don't remember it being a big issue that we weren't the owners, though we did have power of attorney so that might have helped. Still, speak to them and let them know the situation; it's far from unique and they will have a procedure, which may involve your MIL having to sign over ownership.

Then take the dog to the nursing home and hand it back to mil 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your OH needs to listen to you

Can you try a private rehoming with someone local? Obviously you’d need to do a house inspection, vet refs, etc. I’d be asking about to see if anyone I knew might be interested. Don’t hand over to any random person though incase they want a bait dog. You might even find someone who will be happy to visit your mil occasionally or let your dp take the dog for a visit

The dogs trust has a scheme which would be ideal for your situation

Why do you keep making stuff up that isn’t true? The op doesn’t have to lie. She can phone the warden, state that her mil has left her with the dog and refuses to pick it up, and the dog is no longer welcome. The warden will pick it up. The mil will be notified, and she will have 7 days to make different arrangements for the dog before it gets placed in a rescue. If it gets put to sleep, that’s on the mil, not her. I’d rather be clever and original than a sarcastic dickhead like you 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’ve tried 3 different antihistamines, eye drops and upped my inhalers but it’s made no difference, my eczema is flaring and I’m tired because of one of the antihistamines. I don’t think it would be fair so say he’s abandoned as what if they put him to sleep . I’m just not being listened to .

I know he’s away on business soon but I’m actually tempted to say I’ve had a family emergency of my own, drive up to my mums before he leaves and then he will have to sort something maybe then he will realise it’s unfair to make me be responsible for the dog all the time perhaps he needs to see the inconvenience!

I mean Dp not listening not anyone here ! I’m wiped out from all this 😂

You can't rehome someone else's dog. It sounds like you're not married to DP, so she's not even your MIL. It's up to your DP to sort out the dog.

I assume that the house is owned at least partially by him and therefore he has a right to keep the dog there if he wants to (although obviously that would not be the right choice if wants to remain in a relationship!). It is however, his choice, not yours.

Equally, you have the right to leave the relationship if you aren't happy

This is my concern as he’s only a little dog (yorkie) he’s spectacularly spoilt and grumpy too I don’t know if anyone would even want him !

It’s always been fine. I’m wondering if this is more about mil than the dog . He’s an only child and he’s laughing at me but I don’t know if it’s a nervous reaction to things but rather than say he’s being an arse and working more and not dealing with things

You crated a dog who had never used a crate? Does anyone actually walk the dog?
Some of you are talking about the mil as if she's off for a long holiday in Benidorm, not in hospital and facing never returning to her own home.
i don't think the OP should have to keep a pet she's allergic to, but responses are lacking in compassion both towards the elderly woman and to the dog.

Uh huh. The dog warden is not going to take on a the responsibility of a dog and all it's housing fees of a non-stray dog. They're not going to wander backwards and forwards between the hospital and the ops house trying to sort out a civil matter.
If I'm sarcastic, it's because you're just talking rubbish without any grasp of the laws any of these bodies operate under or what the limit of their responsibilities are. You really don't sound clever to me.

As PPs have said, both the Dogs' Trust and the Cinnamon Trust can help, even if it's a long-term foster, but you may have to be prepared to travel: no, it's not just as simple as taking the dog to a local shelter.

I'm a huge dog (and cat) lover, but I do appreciate that life isn't perfect and living with a dog that isn't yours and allergies isn't sustainable.

Have you managed to get on to the Cinnamon Trust?

They really are your best bet for finding a foster placement for a dog whose owner can no longer look after it because of age or infirmity

Absolutely and completely no judgement. Allergies can be bloody awful. The Cinnamon Trust exist for this situation. They may even see if the dog could be kept local. Possibly even keep visiting her. It can’t stay with you. Hope you get this sorted OP.

BWA HA HA HA HA only on Mumsnet should a woman have to move out for the sake of a dog.