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Original poster

What would you say to this person? Potential CF?

26 replies

Summerishere123 · 22/01/2023 20:12

I own a play centre. about 18 months ago we hired a someone in her late 20's. It was a second job to her. She was pretty good, seemed to get on with people although she had disclosed adhd and autism.
About 3 weeks after she started she failed to show for her shift leaving us short staffed. I tried to ring her. After 2-3 attempts she turned off her phone. I sent messages saying I was worried about her as she just didn't show up and even saying if it was a mistake, not to worry, we all get shifts confused sometimes.
Still nothing.

6 months ago she started coming back as a customer. I thought she was a bit bloody cheeky to show her face and didn't speak to her. She didn't try to speak to me but did mention to a staff member that she was surprised to still see him "as it's crap".
Today she has text me saying she wants to have a party at our venue but wants to exceed our maximum and would that be okay?!
The answer is no to any customer but even if you are autistic and struggle with social norms, would you really not understand the awkwardness here?
What on earth do I say other than "no"?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 22/01/2023 20:15

Just say no and it’s against your policy

Forget her being an old employee and just treat her as a normal customer

DoesItMakeYouFeelBetter · 22/01/2023 20:16

How awkward. Could you say you are fully booked on the date she wants?

StrawberryMuffins · 22/01/2023 20:17

You just treat her like any other customer and say a firm, polite "no". You should still act professionally even if she didn't 18 months ago.

SomethingLessIdentifiable · 22/01/2023 20:22

She sounds incredibly hardfaced to me.

I would text her back to say

“Hi X, no it will not be possible to exceed maximum numbers for a party. In future please make any enquiries by calling the play centre phone number or email. This is my personal phone number and is not for customers to contact me on. Thanks”.

Puts her back in her place - she’s a customer, not a mate or an employee.

Original poster
Summerishere123 · 22/01/2023 20:23

DoesItMakeYouFeelBetter · 22/01/2023 20:16

How awkward. Could you say you are fully booked on the date she wants?

No bookings are done through the website.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 22/01/2023 20:24

SomethingLessIdentifiable · 22/01/2023 20:22

She sounds incredibly hardfaced to me.

I would text her back to say

“Hi X, no it will not be possible to exceed maximum numbers for a party. In future please make any enquiries by calling the play centre phone number or email. This is my personal phone number and is not for customers to contact me on. Thanks”.

Puts her back in her place - she’s a customer, not a mate or an employee.

That’s even better!

fairgame84 · 22/01/2023 20:25

Is she the sort to ignore you and bring as many as she wants anyway?

Original poster
Summerishere123 · 22/01/2023 20:29

fairgame84 · 22/01/2023 20:25

Is she the sort to ignore you and bring as many as she wants anyway?

Not sure. She only worked 3 shifts!

OP posts:
Lochroy · 22/01/2023 20:36

My ND brother once left a job without saying anything because he found out he had to do uni resits which clashed with a shift, got himself in a right pickle in his mind about how they might react and didn't know what to do. So he did literally nothing and it's a great shame as he was good at that job.

However, if she's been willing to come as a customer then she's clearly out it all behind her.

I agree with pp, treat her as a normal customer.

StickofVeg · 22/01/2023 20:40

I really think you're over thinking. Just treat her like any other customer - why would you do otherwise? "Hi X, it's great you'd like your party with us! However, sorry to have to let you know we are restricted to X people due to our insurance/heath and safety policy/whatever. As a reminder we can only accommodate X and would need £Y upfront when you book, with the balance due on X date". Just politely reply to her, forget she was employed by you as it's entirely irrelevant. Do be careful to state your terms - as she does seem a bit of a CV.

drpet49 · 22/01/2023 20:43

SomethingLessIdentifiable · 22/01/2023 20:22

She sounds incredibly hardfaced to me.

I would text her back to say

“Hi X, no it will not be possible to exceed maximum numbers for a party. In future please make any enquiries by calling the play centre phone number or email. This is my personal phone number and is not for customers to contact me on. Thanks”.

Puts her back in her place - she’s a customer, not a mate or an employee.

Great reply. I would do this.

Original poster
Summerishere123 · 22/01/2023 20:43

@StickofVeg because if she has a party with us it will be super awkward! We are a small venue and I do alot of the co-ordinating and would have to deal with her. If she had left under normal circumstances I wouldn't mind but in this case it seems ridiculous that she is even considering a party with us.

OP posts:
Original poster
Summerishere123 · 22/01/2023 20:44

I have sent the reply suggested by Somethinglessidentifiable.
I bet she doesn't even reply!

OP posts:
trulyunruly01 · 22/01/2023 20:51

I don't know why you are worrying about how awkward it might be as she's an ex employee yada yada yada.
You have a legal maximum which she'd like you to ignore - at peril of losing your business. Even if it were my much loved sister, it'd be a No. you have a legal maximum for a reason.

Wonnle · 22/01/2023 21:02

Might help if you told us whether she left or you sacked her it's not even stated she no longer works for you in your post

You can refuse service to anyone for no reason at all I believe

Blughbablugh · 22/01/2023 21:14

Wonnle · 22/01/2023 21:02

Might help if you told us whether she left or you sacked her it's not even stated she no longer works for you in your post

You can refuse service to anyone for no reason at all I believe

I thought it was quite obvious on the original post that she just didn't turn up for work one day and the next time OP saw her was 6 months after as a customer.

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/01/2023 21:24

I think you’re way over thinking this. It really doesn’t have to be awkward. Whether it’s her ASD or just her, she has totally moved on from what happened and you need to too.
I thought you were going to say she asked for her job back the way the post was going.

As a PP said, sometimes people with ASD / ADHD just can’t work out how to deal with things but then in time totally forget the situation that lead them to not seeing a person anymore.

jojojanner · 22/01/2023 21:44

I also have autism and would find a job like that over stimulating.
I would panic about getting to the shift and dread going in.
One day I got a job in a pub then I just sat outside in the car looking at the door willing myself to find it in me to go in until I was late and then couldn't find the words to explain why I was late.
My phone rang and I just froze staring at it until eventually I drove home and cried feeling like a total failure because I really wanted that job.

You'll never know what happened that day or the struggles she may have had but, autism is so debilitating and sometimes things just get into such a mess that it's overwhelming and too much to face and nobody ever knows because you pretend so hard to come across as normal.

Original poster
Summerishere123 · 22/01/2023 21:52

@jojojanner Do you return to that pub as a customer?

I could understand her struggling with it and I sent her a really nice message saying the door was still open and she totally ghosted me. To then come back as a customer I find strange.

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 22/01/2023 22:00

because if she has a party with us it will be super awkward!

I don't understand why? I understand why she might find it awkward but I don't see why it's such a big deal for you.

Tamarindtree · 22/01/2023 22:01

I would cancel her booking and ban her. Let her be someone else’s problem

jojojanner · 22/01/2023 22:10

Summerishere123 · 22/01/2023 21:52

@jojojanner Do you return to that pub as a customer?

I could understand her struggling with it and I sent her a really nice message saying the door was still open and she totally ghosted me. To then come back as a customer I find strange.

I have been in several times, I just assume they don't recognise me.
It wouldn't cross my mind after 18 months that anyone would remember or still have hard feelings as I haven't intentionally upset anyone.

Dogdogwoofwoof · 22/01/2023 22:17

This just reads wrong to me. I cannot for the life of me understand why this is such a big deal to you? She should be embarrassed and feel awkward, not you. Why is it bothering you so much? What's really going on for you?

Dogdogwoofwoof · 22/01/2023 22:17

Are you normally anxious? Socially anxious type?

ICanHideButICantRun · 22/01/2023 22:22

She showed you she didn't care about your company both when she didn't show up or ever give an explanation for that and when she told an employee she was surprised he was still there as it's crap. Now she's saying she doesn't think the rules apply to her.

You don't have to accept every customer. I'd just say you had bookings on the dates she wanted. She can go elsewhere.

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