Would you allow your 14YO to have this on their bag?

[ChiefWiggumsBoy]

DTS2, just turned 14 last week and received an Amazon voucher. With it, he bought the attached patch to stick onto his school bag.

He bought it because he’s an avid COD player, but it can’t help thinking it looks a bit…worrying? I was trying to give him a little more freedom with his purchases, but I’m struggling to find this appropriate, especially for school.

(I have already told him it’s not appropriate for school).

Dear twin son! His brother wanted to buy a Harry Potter bag but decided against it. He ran it by me first and I said he should probably not invite teasing at school.

I would be surprised if the school allowed it, to be honest. No, I wouldn't be happy about it at any age, even if it's just meant as a joke.

Plenty of ours have Harry Potter bags, well beyond yr7!
Anyway... something neutral for both lads.

It wouldn't bother me.

I don’t find it offensive but no I wouldn’t. Just because some people would find it aggressive and guns aren’t cool (and it’s naff)

No, and I would expect a phone call from school within half an hour of him arriving there.

I think school probably wouldn’t allow it you’re right, but I’m not going to ask. I’ve already said no, and I’m not going to change that stance.

I'm stuck on DTS2 ........

Dear Twin Son 2?

I know others don’t - I was specifically responding to someone saying if their child bought it they’d find it sinister!

But doesn't the point still stand, though? You know/trust him whereas other parents may not have that same level of knowledge/trust of their children; but that's a separate matter from the relationship that the children will have with friends/teachers and indeed strangers, where there won't be the same distinction as with the respective parent-child relationships.

Good decision, OP.
Save a teacher having to do the CPOMS

Yes, very wise of you, OP.

This is a prime example of a child making a foolish childish choice (as we all did at that stage) and the parent stepping in with greater experience, understanding and authority, to stop it in its tracks right there; nothing else to see or worry about.

Definitely not appropriate for school!
And he’ll end up getting the bag confiscated and probably a detention as he’s old enough to know better.

My DDs the same age and I’d allow her to have it at home but definitely not at school.

I’m not disagreeing with you at all! It’s why I wanted to sense check that my initial reaction wasn’t OTT.

Just in reaction to someone saying they’d find it sinister from their own child - I do not.

I’m not disagreeing with you at all! It’s why I wanted to sense check that my initial reaction wasn’t OTT.

Cool - apologies if I was preaching to the choir!

Honestly it surprised me when he showed me because he’s more into Star Wars and that’s what I would have expected.

It can go with all the other tat in his room to gather dust.

In the UK, yes.

Nit a chance in somewhere like the US tho, he'd probably end up coming home with an arse full of bullets or something

all the other tat in his room
Been there 🙄

14 year old Twins where one wants a Harry Potter bag and the other wants a gun patch on their bag. This totally happened.

I'm a littler bemused by parents on here saying that they wouldn't allow it at school, but wouldn't mind it at home.

Surely it's not just the equivalent of 'smart clothes must be worn there; tracky bottoms and oodies are fine at home' - it's to do with the mindset that you would hope your child would embrace consistently. If your DS wanted to buy something with a slogan on it saying something like "Bitches should be grateful for it" - pretty much equivalent to this gun one in terms of aggression and threatened violence - would you really say "No problem at home, but just don't take it into school" ?

14 year old Twins where one wants a Harry Potter bag and the other wants a gun patch on their bag. This totally happened.

You do realise that twins are actually two completely different people and not just one person split in two?

14 year old Twins where one wants a Harry Potter bag and the other wants a gun patch on their bag. This totally happened.

My 14 year olds room is mixed with half Harry Potter and half gaming/COD stuff.

I too love both Harry Potter and gun games.

It’s not a big stretch to think that 2 completely different people may like completely different things or like me and my DD, love both.

I wouldn't.. . Unfortunately school children are shot by their peers. Its a sentiment that could be misconstrued.

Gun imagery is awkward though... one of DDs primary school had an artillery gun on its school badge. They didn't go round shooting each other....

When my ITS and I were 14, I wore Nirvana hoodies and played bass, but mostly I had a library book under my arm like Hermione Grainger - I was inevitably the lookout because I was a rule-keeping rebel. My sister dressed completely in black with bright purple sparkly scarves wrapped round her, spending all day at a piano. She's now a classically trained musician.

Twins - even identical ones - are more like Venn Diagrams than carbon copies. Anecdotally, I've found boys can be particularly so (outside of the great equaliser of having a kickabout).

Oh, and not that you asked, but 20+ years later it's still a wee guilty pleasure to curl up on the couch with a book on a rainy afternoon while she plays the piano. The repertoire just sounds better now!

Main point being, things outside the immediate scope of personal experience are not necessarily false. If people reached to querying ("oh, interesting, I haven't experienced that, can you describe/ explain / elaborate further") before refuting ("well that's just bs") we might stand a chance of discussion, discovery, growth rather than slap fights and angst

No.

Absolutely not

No - not at school and not anywhere, frankly. It’s trivialising guns and making light of violence. I’d have hoped that he’d realise himself why it’s a daft idea.