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Original poster

Would you allow your 14YO to have this on their bag?

92 replies

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 22/01/2023 11:49

DTS2, just turned 14 last week and received an Amazon voucher. With it, he bought the attached patch to stick onto his school bag.

He bought it because he’s an avid COD player, but it can’t help thinking it looks a bit…worrying? I was trying to give him a little more freedom with his purchases, but I’m struggling to find this appropriate, especially for school.

(I have already told him it’s not appropriate for school).

Would you allow your 14YO to have this on their bag?
OP posts:
immergeradeaus · 22/01/2023 12:22

Yes, safeguarding concerns. Most staff won't play COD and they'll just see the school shooter energy.

Original poster
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 22/01/2023 12:22

UmmmBopDeeDooWhop · 22/01/2023 12:17

Safeguarding concerns?!
Playing an eighteen game if they recognise it as being from COD or if they don't...it's quite threatening.

Sorry - you mean if someone else saw it and didn’t recognise it from a game? That’s my worry because although he thinks it’s from a game, I don’t actually think it is?

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 22/01/2023 12:24

immergeradeaus · 22/01/2023 11:53

Not appropriate for school and likely to prompt staff to raise safeguarding concerns.

Don't be daft.

Maves · 22/01/2023 12:24

Firstly you say you are in Liverpool well that's extremely bad taste considering what happened at Xmas. Secondly I'd actually be worried if my child bought this it's not appropriate for school or anywhere tbh.....it's sinister

PinkFrogss · 22/01/2023 12:25

I agree with you OP, I think now would be a good time to discuss with him violence and school shootings to see if he still thinks that is an appropriate patch, and try to get him to understand why it could be upsetting to many people. See if he still thinks it’s an appropriate patch.

As pp said it would definitely flag for safeguarding at school.

PeekAtYou · 22/01/2023 12:26

It's fine for a weekend bag but I wouldn't want it to create problems at school when some idiot gets close and asks him what he's going to do about it. He could be seen as a "school shooter type" rather than gamer.

StrawberryMuffins · 22/01/2023 12:26

No, we ignore bad language on pins and badges but hard no on anything threatening.

HarrietSchulenberg · 22/01/2023 12:29

If he puts it on his bag for school he'll have his bag confiscated and you'll have to collect it and remove the patch, or buy him another bag. If his school lets him display it, I'd be worried about it's attitude to behaviour and safeguarding.
He's also too young for COD so it will lead to an awkward conversation about your attitude to his gaming and online safety.
You can tell him this and see if he still wants to try it.

Original poster
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 22/01/2023 12:30

Maves · 22/01/2023 12:24

Firstly you say you are in Liverpool well that's extremely bad taste considering what happened at Xmas. Secondly I'd actually be worried if my child bought this it's not appropriate for school or anywhere tbh.....it's sinister

Well I guess it’s a good thing I know my kids then? He literally thought it was a funny/edgy COD-adjacent badge. Didn’t associate it with any real life occurrence. Naive maybe. Sinister, no.

OP posts:
vinoandbrie · 22/01/2023 12:31

No.

2bazookas · 22/01/2023 12:47

Choose which hills to die on.

Letting kids waste their own money on crap is a valuable life lesson in social mores and value for money that they quickly regret and never forget.

Let him put it on the school bag . With a bit of luck some of the cooler kids in class will set him straight, and the school will confiscate it.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/01/2023 12:48

Well I guess it’s a good thing I know my kids then?

This is the whole problem, though: other people don't know your kids as well as you do (or even at all).

I think it's a bit like the idiots at airport security who will say "Careful with that bag - there's a bomb in there, ho-ho-ho!!!" However much you're probably sure that the person is not serious, when tragic events do happen, there's always an inquiry and the question is asked as to whether there were any early warning signs that something might have been amiss.

You may know 100% that your DS wouldn't dream of taking a gun into school and shooting anybody; but shootings obviously do happen - and often done by people whom nobody would ever have suspected.

Imagine you're a teacher and, horror of horrors, your school has a child bring in a gun and kill classmates and/or teachers. You're asked if there were any signs or clues at all that the child might have been inclined to do that and all you can say is "No, there were no signs whatsoever.... apart from the sticker he had on his school bag for three months before warning that he would shoot anybody who got too close to him...." Personally, you'd be devastated that you didn't act in advance to prevent the murders; professionally, your career could be in tatters and you face prosecution.

Iwonder08 · 22/01/2023 12:49

Rifle on a schoolbag after everything that has been happening in recent month.. There was a good article in Times magazine in the last couple of month about US shootings, let him read it. 14 yo is grown up enough to comprehend that his innocent perception of Cod references might be understood completely differently by quite a lot of people

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/01/2023 12:55

I understand that video game fans are going to soon grow out of titles like 'Billy Badger's Busy Day', but why do do many of these games have to be so nasty, violent and aggressive? Just because they're aimed at over 18s doesn't really make it better, imo.

I know violent films and books have been around forever, but I think it's a massive step up to seek to actively involve the consumer in the storyline, as opposed to just watching the goings-on as an outsider.

WonderingWanda · 22/01/2023 12:58

Not for school no, although that said I plastered my school folder with all sorts of inappropriate stickers and grafitti as a teenager!

ElvisCymraeg · 22/01/2023 12:59

Not okay at all, not at school and not outside school, considering what happened in Liverpool recently. TBH if he isn't mature enough to see this, he's not mature enough to play the game.

Maireas · 22/01/2023 13:00

Don't allow it.

Maireas · 22/01/2023 13:01

Good points, @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll
It's got to be damaging

Goodluckanddontfuckitup · 22/01/2023 13:01

Teacher here. I would have to follow this up and log this as a safeguarding concern. Firstly because it's weapons imagery and then again when he confirmed he was playing COD. So a double whammy really!

LiverBurd · 22/01/2023 13:02

DS is similar age to yours. His friends wouldn't think this sticker was cool or edgy at all- sadly he'd probably get the piss taken out of him at school if he had it on his bag.

kittensinthekitchen · 22/01/2023 13:02

No, I wouldn't allow that for my 14 or 17 year olds.

It's not a COD patch (which he shouldn't be playing anyway if it's an 18, like others have said); it's a patch threatening to shoot people.

In a school.

GrannieD · 22/01/2023 13:03

I'm stuck on DTS2 ........

But deffo no to your question

Princesspollyyy · 22/01/2023 13:03

No

Original poster
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 22/01/2023 13:09

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/01/2023 12:48

Well I guess it’s a good thing I know my kids then?

This is the whole problem, though: other people don't know your kids as well as you do (or even at all).

I think it's a bit like the idiots at airport security who will say "Careful with that bag - there's a bomb in there, ho-ho-ho!!!" However much you're probably sure that the person is not serious, when tragic events do happen, there's always an inquiry and the question is asked as to whether there were any early warning signs that something might have been amiss.

You may know 100% that your DS wouldn't dream of taking a gun into school and shooting anybody; but shootings obviously do happen - and often done by people whom nobody would ever have suspected.

Imagine you're a teacher and, horror of horrors, your school has a child bring in a gun and kill classmates and/or teachers. You're asked if there were any signs or clues at all that the child might have been inclined to do that and all you can say is "No, there were no signs whatsoever.... apart from the sticker he had on his school bag for three months before warning that he would shoot anybody who got too close to him...." Personally, you'd be devastated that you didn't act in advance to prevent the murders; professionally, your career could be in tatters and you face prosecution.

I know others don’t - I was specifically responding to someone saying if their child bought it they’d find it sinister!

OP posts:
Maireas · 22/01/2023 13:11

I think you've been given some good advice here, OP and you're obviously concerned.
Don't allow him to have it on his schoolbag, and just explain why.