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Original poster

I’ve left, what do I do now?

38 replies

xxcatcatcatxx · 21/01/2023 06:29

Had enough of being screamed at for no apparent reason for days on end. DS woke up early and I was tidying bits, maybe being a bit loud. DP comes charging in screaming and slamming doors telling me to get the fuck out of his house. He’s not touched me before but he grabbed my arm so hard and I knew I had to go

I feel awful, I just ran. I left my son, he wouldn’t let me take him and I didn’t want to stress the poor bean out anymore.

luckily I have my own flat I’m headed to but what the fuck do I do now? How do I get my son? My work laptops at home? I need money? Shall I give it a couple of days to blow over?

OP posts:
DNAwrangler · 21/01/2023 06:31

Can someone big and strong go back with you to get your son?

pleaseletmesleeptonight · 21/01/2023 06:32

Do you have any friends, family close? They could go back with you to get your son and belongings?

I wouldn't leave it days? Is your son safe?

ForeverMessy456 · 21/01/2023 06:32

CalL the police and make a report.

This way you have proof of the incident if you need to go down a legal route to get your son.

Are you close with or have any relationship with your partners family? I would contact them and try and to use them as a go between if you don't feel safe speaking by him alone.

lovem · 21/01/2023 06:32

Call the police?

lovem · 21/01/2023 06:33

Can't believe you left your son there TBH. Alone with a violent raging man? I'd be calling frantically for help from everyone and anyone.

Original poster
xxcatcatcatxx · 21/01/2023 06:38

Yeah he wouldn’t hurt him, he loves him way too much. It’s only ever me that annoys him for some reason. I’m not even sure why we’re together he literally can’t stand me.

Very hesitant to call the police, I don’t like making a scene. What would you say?

OP posts:
ripandhishorse · 21/01/2023 06:38

You need to phone the police. Get some help there. The go back and get your son and everything you need.

realynotfair · 21/01/2023 06:41

That he was scaring you and you fled your home without your child. Believe it I have been though divorce with a man like this and wish I had logged everything. Do it now.

DNAwrangler · 21/01/2023 06:41

accept that you need to make a scene. To get your son.

BertieBotts · 21/01/2023 06:50

First of all well done for leaving.

Call your local domestic violence team, it's not necessarily the same in terms of reporting him/pressing charges for a specific incident but they should be able to tell you what they can offer in terms of support. You don't have to give your name.

Read/buy/download a copy of Why Does He Do That - it helped me stay strong after leaving.

How old is your son?

autienotnaughty · 21/01/2023 06:57

Phone the police
Phone womens aid fir advice
Go back with a family member/friend to pack your backs snd collect your child. Say you will be in touch about contact arrangements.
Do it now. You don't know what he's doing/planning. Do you want him to keep your son?

ForeverMessy456 · 21/01/2023 07:00

xxcatcatcatxx · 21/01/2023 06:38

Yeah he wouldn’t hurt him, he loves him way too much. It’s only ever me that annoys him for some reason. I’m not even sure why we’re together he literally can’t stand me.

Very hesitant to call the police, I don’t like making a scene. What would you say?

I'd call and say there was been a heated argument however you didn't feel safe to stay and would just like some help/advice on how best to get your son without the situation turning volatile.

The police can facilitate without you making any sort of report if you don't want to.

Goinglocodowninsainsburyslocal · 21/01/2023 07:02

I'm not sure the police can avoid a report if a child is there. Safeguarding comes first. Ring them op, get your son

ShirleyPhallus · 21/01/2023 07:04

My gosh id go back and get my child, asap

And call the police

hashbrownsandwich · 21/01/2023 07:07

He might not have taken things out in your sun before, because you were there/ in your absence your son is next in line for it. Call the police!

toptail22 · 21/01/2023 07:10

Well done for leaving. I fully understand why you wouldn't attempt to take your son as that may ignite the situation further.

You need support at this time, then decide your next move. Safeguarding your son is obviously of paramount importance.

Ladybug14 · 21/01/2023 07:11

You don't like making a scene? What???

Your child is with a violent and abusive man. You have been attacked

Call the fucking police

Bestcatmum · 21/01/2023 07:14

Call the damned police. If you don't report this your partner could keep your son and you might never see him again for fucks sake. It isn't causing a scene. It's reporting abuse and you may need that evidence in a custody battle. I've been there. The judge rejected my claims as I hadnt called the police. So i did next time he assaulted me and got full custody of DS.

MiCasaEsTuCasota · 21/01/2023 07:14

Phone the fucking police and when they arrive go and get your child. Do it NOW

gogohmm · 21/01/2023 07:16

Call the police, they can help you access the house to get your things and help you decide about your son. You won't have to press charges but they can talk to him to tell him you are very upset by his behaviour and caution him. But if hurt you then you really should consider pressing charges, men shouldn't hit women end of

gamerchick · 21/01/2023 07:17

xxcatcatcatxx · 21/01/2023 06:38

Yeah he wouldn’t hurt him, he loves him way too much. It’s only ever me that annoys him for some reason. I’m not even sure why we’re together he literally can’t stand me.

Very hesitant to call the police, I don’t like making a scene. What would you say?

That you've been assaulted and have had to run but you've left your child and belongings. They'll take him away so you can go back for what you need. Do it now.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 21/01/2023 07:27

Ladybug14 · 21/01/2023 07:11

You don't like making a scene? What???

Your child is with a violent and abusive man. You have been attacked

Call the fucking police

This!!!

Emelene · 21/01/2023 07:31

Call the police.

lovem · 21/01/2023 07:41

This can't be real

Original poster
xxcatcatcatxx · 21/01/2023 07:50

We’re messaging and communicating. I’m not calling the police, I really don’t feel in any further danger and I’m not worried about my son. I imagine he’ll go to see his parents for the day and they’ll help out.

I’ve had a coffee and a bit of a calm down and need a massive cry. I just didn’t think he’d carry on being so horrid. I might be a bit hard to live with but being shouted at for days and days is just too much. I’m so scared and just feel very alone right now but I can’t carry on doing this.

My own flat is a very adult flat with absolutely no baby facilities and just a load of fake flowers so I’ll have to go back at some point to pick bits up. I’ll probably message my parents a bit later to see if my dad can accompany me. I just feel like I’ve failed.

Thank you for the organisations, I’ll definitely get in touch/ have a look at websites etc. How did everyone arrange access going forward? Thinking about it the other day I did do a test claim for some benefits online so I guess you just fill these in for real?

My initial message was maybe a bit panicked, it was 6am at a freezing train station and I just felt very lost and alone💕

OP posts: