The middle of the night is the worst 😥 Try remind yourself that no matter how dark your thoughts are in the middle of the night, come the morning, things are ALWAYS a bit brighter.
Positive story here too - I was diagnosed with Stage 3c ovarian cancer at 33 (just after I'd given birth 😬) and after surgery and 6 rounds of chemo, here I am 10 years later, cancer free against ALL odds. And that was 10 years ago, I still see my oncologist (although she is saying that as of next year, no more check ups needed!! 😀) and she has told me that the treatments and outcomes have improved massively in the past 10 years, so the odds are in your favour for better treatment and effective outcome.
I found it better to know as much as possible and asked for the straight up facts from my medical team. Other people prefer not knowing detail and that's fine too. Perhaps have a think about what you'd prefer and be up front with your medical team so they can give you as much or as little info as you want/ need.
I found the whole surgery/ chemo/ scans process a treadmill. You get on it and it dominates your life and then suddenly you're stepping off at the end and wobbling around with no support suddenly. So I suggest booking something to look forward in between treatments/ at the end to give you something to focus on. I did have a mental dip AFTER I finished treatment (and was cancer free) which I found odd, so just something to be aware of.
Also, I found Maggies Centres a huge benefit both during and after treatment - the offer support to anyone who is impact by cancer, so either yourself or those close to you. I accessed all sorts of support through them from support groups, returning to work workshops, exercise classes and just sitting in their gorgeous buildings as a sanctuary at times.
Best wishes 💐