Gym embarrassed

[Mynewhome]

I'm 45 and around 4 stone over weight. When I go to the 2nd floor of my house ik quite breathless and have to catch my breath before I can speak.

So I was thinking to join the gym so I can loose some weight and maybe be less breathless with stairs

But im not sure I would stick to it. I have no motivation and always feel drained.i have no one to go with. I don't really care if I go on my own but I just don't know if I would stick to it.

Also I feel embarrassed even though I know logically no one is looking or gives a shit

Do it, OP. I can guarantee that after the first glance, no one will be looking at you.

If you suspect the gym might not be for you and you're wary about joining and not using it why not look at other alternatives

• walking groups - check your local facebook pages as I always see lots advertised around here. Some are aimed at women, some aimed at fitness, some aimed at mental health (walk and talk type groups) etc so find one that appeals
• boot camps - again I see these on fb and they seem to attract a wide variety of people of all ages, shapes and sizes
• Zumba or a dance-fit type class - might be more fun and motivating

I think the gym is definitely one of the places bigger people are well accepted and nobody looks at you anyway. Everyone is concentrating on themselves and what they're doing.

I second the personal trainer, just until you're confident or join somewhere that does classes. I prefer classes, means I don't have to really think about it.

@Mynewhome as PP says, everyone at the gym was new once and won't be paying you any attention. Is it the right form of exercise for you? Working out what you would enjoy is key to staying motivated. What about fitness classes? Swimming? Couch to 5k? Power walking? Anything that builds your cardio fitness will help with those stairs and be great for your health.

For weight loss, I also agree with the PP, that it is more to do with what you eat than exercise, so that's something to bear in mind if weight is your goal.

Good luck!

I work for a gym chain and I can guarantee you that no one will notice what you are doing as they are all too busy worrying about themselves. You would be made very welcome and you can also ask for an induction where someone will show you how to use the equipment. I think you'd find it a really friendly environment and there's people of all shapes and sizes. You could just get a couple of personal training sessions to get your confidence up ☺️

'Every single person in the gym was a newbie once too. I've been a gym member for over 20 years and can assure you that 99% of people won't even notice you as they'll be too engrossed in their own workout to see what anyone else is doing.'

Totally agree with this, and well done you for taking steps to improve your health. However, I would suggest getting more active and changing your diet first before joining the gym. You could start with a 20 minute brisk walk 3-4 times a week, and build up from there. Please remember that any new exercise program will SUCK to start with - you'll find it hard, you will need to work hard to motivate yourself, and the first month will be no fun. This is totally normal and everyone goes through it. Stick with it, be consistent, build up slowly but make sure that being active becomes a habit - this will have a huge positive impact on your health

If you want to lose weight, then it's (pretty much) all about your diet, and there is tons of advice out there about increasing your protein, eating more plant based foods, watching your portion sizes, drinking more water etc. Good luck to you!

I dont know if I could do 10 mins on a treadmill 🤣. I would love a personal trainer to kick my butt . But I think they are expensive

Yes size wise etc I only ik not neong logic at all and i know that no one cares . I think its more about my confidence. And I think I won't stick to it but I don't let myself down

Them things would be my worse nightmare 😱

Them things would be my worse nightmare 😱

Fair enough, they'd probably be mine too 😄
It's just you sounded unsure about the gym.

I go to the gym occasionally and honestly you see people of all fitness levels, ages, shapes and sizes...nobody bats an eyelid at anyone else.

Ask around or have a look at different gyms in your area as some might seem more your sort of place than others.

If you get breathless walking up the stairs, the gym might not be the best place to start. It might be a bit too overwhelming, and you potentially risk injury if not being carefully monitored by a PT. I think if you’re not fully committed (which it sounds like you aren’t), it might be a pretty short-lived endeavour.

If I were you, I would start with walking more, a regular class (Zumba, aqua aerobics etc.) and regularly swimming/aqua jogging, alongside looking at your diet and cutting back a bit.

Once you’d tart to feel fitter and more confident, you can really make the most of a gym membership and are less likely to get demotivated and give up (probably wasting a fortune in the process).

Mynewhome · Today 15:30

Them things would be my worse nightmare

How about swimming? You can take your time, do a length or two, rest, do a bit more etc.

I have been extremely lazy all I do is wall 5 min to bus stop getc2 buses to the school which us around 45 mins. Then I do the same on way home. Then I literally sit on my butt till 2pm I might potter about a little but hardly nothing

I'm drinking around 6 cans of coke a day , things like cakes choc . Greggs take aways . My diet is awful.

but I think because there's special needs . Lots of mental health issues. In the home and it all comes down to me . So i think it's all having a knock on effect.

I am very unmotivated, the only way the I use the gym is because I have a personal trainer. Left to myself I would just keep putting it off and it would be a waste of money on membership.

At your level of fitness I'm not sure that there is much to do at a gym that you couldn't do at home. As you get a little fitter then classes might work well for you. Can you built up stamina and aerobic fitness for free using what's available at home. For instance you have two flights of stairs. Use the stairs, come back down. Take a break and use the stairs again. Do that a couple of times a day. Then do it without a break. Then do it three times in a row without a break. Then take the stairs up two at a time (not down). Do standing press ups against the kitchen counter or the wall while you're waiting for the kettle to boil, then move on to press ups on a lower surface like the kitchen table.

While you're working out at home save the money that you would be spending on gym membership and when have enough get a personal trainer. Have her/him once a week for a month to get you started and then once a month to keep you moving forward. When choosing a personal trainer I have always looked for someone who is a sportsperson and it a bit older rather than someone who has left school and just done a short PT course. If they are a sportsperson they will be much better at functional fitness, ie being fit to do the things that you need to do rather than just looking like you're fit.

Hi, also consider beginning with a visit to the GP. If you are always drained and breathless you may be low in iron (as I found out I was). Or if you don't manage to get to the GP try taking iron tablets as they start to work and boost your energy levels quite quickly. Best of luck :)

I've been going to the gym for years and I still get a little bit nervous going to a new gym. All gyms are a bit different so everyone is lost in a new one. I find myself a spot, like a bike or treadmill, where I can watch for a while and get my bearings.

Also as someone who goes to the gym a lot, I really never think about other people. So you're right, noone does give a shit.

As to sticking with it - be realistic. Don't decide you're going to go 6 times a week, if that's not something you're going to do. And have a plan, don't go there and aimlessly mill about. It's much easier to stick to when you have (e.g.) a three day a week, 12 week plan.

OP, if you are 4 stone overweight, 45, and breathless on stairs, please see your GP before going anywhere near a gym. You need to check that your heart and lungs will actually cope with exercise, and that you do not already have a health condition such as diabetes.
Next, you need to address your diet, and the mental health issues that are underlyingyour behaviour. You might need antidepressants or therapy, and you certainly need advice on healthy eating - which will shift far more weight than a gym session.
Don’t focus on what other people will think of you - focus on taking care of yourself and helping your body to get fit.

Have a ring round local gyms and see what their terms are. I pay £26 a month for the basic membership cancellable anytime without penalty. I can go as many times a month as I want and a session with a trainer every 6 weeks (if you want one) is included. They give you a programme based on your goals and if something isn't working for you they give alternatives. I'm sure they are not the only gym in the country to operate like this.

Whilst I'm not overweight, it wouldn't take much for it to tip over into that territory again. I'm joining next month to do purely weight training. I'm extremely unfit, hypermobile, menopausal with bits of me that keep popping out a bit. Currently got sore hip and right lower back. The only way to stop this is strengthening my core and other muscles. I've got to start very slowly and gently, and so do you. Really good suggestions above, especially about seeing your gp first. Some trusts will prescribe a gym membership for both mental and physical help, plus you can be supported with weight loss so you don't feel on your own.

Small, sustainable changes work. One less biscuit, then 2 less etc. That's how I work so it's not overwhelming.

That ^^
I used to be pretty fit and due to a medical issue had to stop all exercise for a while
I started doing 10 mins on a spin bike; everything hurt, my lungs were burning and I hated it
After 9 months I did a 90 min spin class
Now I'm restarting again after covid!

I’m overweight by a similar amount as you. I started the gym in December.

My advice would be to choose a gym that offers classes and the smaller the gym the better. Just because then there’s fewer people in the class and also you can build up a rapport with the class instructor and on a weird way I feel more accountable because he’ll notice if I’m not there! Plus on a Friday it’s just me that seems to turn up so I’d feel even worse if no one turned up to the class!

My gym is a more studio type gym than a big commercial one and I’ve been really surprised by how much I enjoy it and how much I go :)

Not sure what your budget is or this would work for you but I bought a peloton (you can get them cheaper second hand). It’s the best thing I ever did, I can go on as much as I want for short bursts of activity, there’s an amazing supportive group on Facebook, there are metrics and award things as well as high 5s to keep you motivated. And no one knows what you look like or what you’re wearing. I’m pretty crap now because of health issues and I know I’d have given up by now at a gym.

it doesn’t sound like the gym is for you. It also sounds like your having a difficult time and have developed a few bad habits (cans of cola).

if weight loss is your end goal it’s largely diet. I’d tackle the coke first then the sugary snacks.

I’d maybe look at implementing some steps into your day. Get off the bus a stop or two earlier. And if their is an activity youd like can you find a once a week class that you enjoy / is social.