Gym embarrassed

[Mynewhome]

I'm 45 and around 4 stone over weight. When I go to the 2nd floor of my house ik quite breathless and have to catch my breath before I can speak.

So I was thinking to join the gym so I can loose some weight and maybe be less breathless with stairs

But im not sure I would stick to it. I have no motivation and always feel drained.i have no one to go with. I don't really care if I go on my own but I just don't know if I would stick to it.

Also I feel embarrassed even though I know logically no one is looking or gives a shit

@Mynewhome
I’ve been going to a gym for years, Im still overweight.
I agree they can feel intimidating when you first go in - I go to a gym where the types who go in the tightest lycra and full make up don’t last long as everyone is too busy getting sweaty and red in the face and ignoring everyone else.

Having said that have you looked at whats going on in your local community?
where I live there are loads of yoga, pilates, exercise classes going in church halls and in schools in the evenings. They would probably feel less intimidating.
But you could do just as well be starting off walking. A few years ago I was very ill and went from training for a half marathon to crawling on the floor.
My recovery was literally walking from lamp post to lampost, building up from 1 lampost distance until I was able to make it to the park.
Good old fashioned walking outside is one of the best forms of execise you can do,
The first step is the hardest - good luck

I would echo seeing the doctor for a check up and increasing your walking and cutting down on the coke (go to diet if you need fizzy drinks or swap to sugar free squash) and the crap junk food and takeaways.

There are lots of walking workouts on YouTube. I use them when the weather is so bad that I’m not leaving the house. I did a 1300 step Get Fit with Rick one whilst DH was faffing this morning before we actually went for a walk. There are ones that are 2k, 3k,5k and 10k steps as well. If you are at home with no one watching you don’t need to get all the moves right and can pause them if you need to.

There is a weight loss chat section on here with different threads/ groups going. Please come over and see if there is one you think would suit you and say hi and join in. They are supportive and encouraging and we share ideas. I found having somewhere to diarise my thoughts had really helped me and sharing ideas is really helpful too.

I would also try and get your family onboard even with DC getting a bit of exercise such as swimming or family walks, geocaching, going on the swings, playing cricket, frisbee or even doing a dance workout or anything. Plus think of it as a healthy lifestyle for you and them with good nutrients foods not junk food.

Best thing I ever heard someone say about motivation and exercise is that it's a fallacy that you have to have the wherewithal to go before you go.
It's like brushing your teeth. You just go.
Atomic habits is a good thing to read. There was one story where someone who wanted to get into a gym habit just made a commitment every day to go to the gym. Not to do any exercise - he just turned up and went home. Then he turned up and did 10 mins and went home. And so on.
As someone who does exercise regularly now I'm sorry to say that I am very rarely motivated. But it's just what I do. Sometimes I can't be arsed and don't do much, but it's better than doing nothing!
Good luck OP x

Just go for it. When I joined back in 2017 I was morbidly obese. I started off doing classes alongside slimming world.
lost a bit of weight then hired a PT. Lost a bit more weight and now I’m 7 stone down. Fitter than I’ve ever been. Fitter than most 20 year olds (I’m 41)
Im training to be an instructor now. It has become my whole life. I’ve met my best friends at the gym. Genuinely I believe it’s saved my life. I was in a bad place mentally and physically and now I’m so much better. So much happier and more confident. People who have met me now can’t believe how I used to be.
I promise you no one is judging or looking or anything. If anything people are rooting for you. I know I am whenever anyone new comes in

I joined a gym in September and also had the gym fear but love it! Wasn't what I expected at all - non gym bunnies far outweigh the super fit people whenever I go! You really don't need to worry at all.

I would join jog Scotland if in Scotland or run together if in England

You will start a very achievable C25k , make friends and be supported every step of the way. Then get along to your local parkrun which you can walk run or jog on Saturday morning , it's a free event and there will be some near you. Look up the Parkrun website

Good luck OP

If you are going to go to the gym try to work out when in your week you are going to go and stick to it. I find if I know it's set times and in the diary I stick to it. If I think of it as ad hoc it becomes negotiable and before I know it I haven't been. Get a routine going.

Would also echo pp who suggested adding some things into your general routine like getting off the bus earlier and walking . I used to get the bus 3 stops to the tube but wouldn't even consider it now as I just started walking it

I used to be all skin and bones and could not lift any weight or do a single pushup, sit up or run for more than a few minutes. I thought I would be laughed at.

I got a female PT who said stuff out loud and said "see nobody cares".

After a few months I felt I could do more than ever.

Now about 5 years on my body has changed and more importantly my confidence. I talk to everyone. And the "old guard" always help the new people with advise.

I got asked to speak to a shy girl who was insecure about being alone and now she goes and does her own thing happily.

There is a guy who has MS and he is the most looked after guy there. Plus a kid with autism who people help and admire to battling away.

People generally in a gym help and support.

Dont be scared and know this is for you and your health only!

I would cut out the fizzy drinks first. From experience, you’ll feel awful for a couple of weeks so don’t do that plus the gym as you will really struggle.

Make one steady change at a time.

Sort out your nutrition first, moving more won’t do anything for you if you’re over eating garbage.

I have a love hate relationship with the gym.

I do enjoy classes, but it’s the having to be there for a set time, travel, the fact that an hour class takes two hours out my day…

so I got a rower and a treadmill in the garage, interest free credit card, it cost me about the same as a two year gym membership.

the rower I love because it’s low impact, I don’t need to worry about a sports bra, proper clothes etc. there are loads of workouts online that will auto program the rower and I just follow that.

the treadmill I just walk. I can do an hour or two, same time as a gym class would take, but I don’t have to worry about looking presentable, I can roll out of bed, do the housework, nip on the rower, then get a shower.

Just makes it easier to fit into my life, and now it’s paid for doesn’t cost me anything. Thinking about adding a bike as well now just for variety.

As a pp said, a gym membership is ok but you'd do just as well incorporating a bit more activity into your day like a 10, 20, 30 mins walk each day. Build up to doing 30 mins a day or more gradually. You'll burn calories and get fitter, you don't need a gym membership. Diet is 80% of it. Exercise is 20%. Yet people think the gym will solve the problem. It helps but won't solve it. Just move more in general and don't consider a gym membership until you're want to do some strength training or classes (ie when your level is fitness is better through being able to walk at least 30 mins a day briskly and your diet is a bit better).

I adore the gym, it is my escape! It’s like my bit of zen in a busy life!

But it didn’t start out that way. I used to get the sense of dread and then the ‘cba going’. What I learnt was to get over that I needed the gym to become a fully ingrained habit (like always getting up at a certain time for work, you form a ‘rhythm’ that your body expects). I needed to go very frequently at the same time every day for a good 3 months before my brain switched. Then it just became something different, something I need for my soul… if I can’t go for a few days I feel a ‘need’ to go, it’s a bit like when you always get up at a certain time and then try to wake up earlier for a holiday or something. I start to feel uncomfortable in my own skin…..and now it’s the place I go to centre myself, to be me, to feel ‘right’… I tend to do the gym (I have a ‘program’ I follow from a PT, included in gym price so no pressure etc… and my gym is a fabulous £24.99 a month!), power yoga, spin and any boot camp/circuits type thing (nothing that requires any coordination is my rule!)

If you’re worried about appearance… the gym is the place people go to look good in other places, it not the place (most) people go to ‘look good at’ I look a right mess! Hair is scraped back so it doesn’t go in my face (not a look that suits me!), no make up (it’ll end up looking a mess) leggings are worn because they’re comfy/practical (admittedly since I found the gymshark training leggings in black the appearance has muchly improved), tops are whatever doesn’t flap around with a nice secure sports bra so I don’t flap around! It’s an entirely functional appearance…. Which no one at the gym looks at… so long as you don’t walk in wearing a ballgown or anything completely impractical gym people don’t care what you look like….we go, we move around a bit, say hi to the regulars then all go our separate ways, and it’s lovely.

Thank you everyone.

I think I'm not going to join the gym yet. But for now

I'm going to walk half way home from the school run just the afternoon one to start with. That's about a 45min walk . Once I get into that I will start doing that walk twice a day. Then I might possibly add swimming a couple times a week.

I'm going to cut down on coke and have 1 can a day. And make sure I always have water with me.

I want to change my diet. I want to keep it real though . Im never ever going to be a person who eats overly healthy. But I do want to eat better. But I do not have any bottom teeth so I find things difficult to eat and textures as well. I'm also thinking I could take multi vitamin . To boost things up a bit

Going to the gym doesn’t mean you need to batter it. Walking on the treadmill at a pace you can manage, a slower pace of cycling etc - anything that you do will be more than sitting, so don’t put pressure on yourself. I go to a gym and as everyone said , 1. Most people are focused on themselves and 2. There are people of all shapes and sizes, I know you hear horror stories of people being body shamed in the gym but I’ve honestly never heard or seen anything even remotely like this.

OP I'm also overweight by about 4 stone. I joined a gym last year and was terrified when I first walked through the doors. But I forced myself to go for the first few times and I've found I actually love it.

I started really slowly and just got on the exercise bike and would listen to an interesting podcast to take my mind off what I was doing. I chose something to listen to that I found really interesting but made myself only listen to it when I was doing exercise.... either at the gym or on a walk. It was motivating as I was keen to listen to the next episode so forced me to do the exercise. Now I love it and view it as "me time." No pressure or commitments, just doing something for myself.

When I'd built up a bit of confidence I booked an induction session at the gym and asked specifically to see how the weight machines worked. Using weight machines is great for beginners as you're less likely to injure yourself than using free weights if you don't know what you're doing. The instructor showed me the right way to use them and I watched YouTube videos as well on how to use them correctly.

Now I've built exercise into my weekly routine and am sticking to it, I'm looking to sort my diet out. I won't lose weight without cutting what I'm eating but am just focusing on taking a multivitamin, eating fruit and veg every day and drinking more water.

Could you start small by changing your cola to diet coke or pepsi max? Then working on cutting the amount down. It won't all change overnight, small changes and building up on those changes will set you on the right path.

Good for you. Small changes are the best kind of changes, because they are sustainable. Once one sticks, you can introduce an additional small change, and so on.

There are a number of apps called 7. They essentially have a variety of 7 min HIIT workouts you can do at home. Once you feel yourself getting fitter walking for the bus you could maybe try one of them at home 2/3 times a week.

But FWIW, I see an overweight person in the gym and think "good on you". Because no one gets slimmer, fitter and stronger from sitting on their arse.

Remember though: losing weight is mostly done through food (calories in vs calories out), though exercise is incredibly important for overall health. It releases endorphins (great for improving MH), improves blood flow, improves lung capacity, improves heart health.

Good luck!