40 and body slowly coming apart at the seams

[Reluctantadult]

Just here to complain and see if anyone else is in the same boat! I am 40 and I feel like my body is starting to fall apart in many small ways! I am lucky I don't have major health concerns, but will I slowly come apart at the seams?! I'm going for slightly lighthearted but also serious 😆

I've got prolapsed discs that are currently giving me bad knee pain. Getting my shoes on is a personal challenge.

The insides of my ears have swollen up for some reason, it's really quite painful!

I've had athletes foot for over a year. Will I be using cream forever?!

Same with piles!

And now I've got a sty in my eye.

I used to be fairly fit, run every week, did sprint triathlons, at the moment I can't even walk the dog! Honestly wondering what I'll be like at 60...

I'm pushing 60, not particularly fit and borderline overweight. Main issues for me are creaky joints(which exercise helps) , bit stiff in the mornings sometimes and underactive thyroid. Apart from that I am healthy enough! 🤞

There is hope!

You sound like me!
I've noticed it happening to my body too.
Ears are always problematic (eczema inside?), knee pain, brain fog.

I've started thinking about menopause for the first time ever. I'm lurking on threads about menopause. I've lost flexibility in my muscles and if I run, I injure myself. Periods are heavier and I get pain at ovulation time.

It's frustrating.

Your ears bothering you could be the menopause.
Your piles could be because you do not have enough roughage or are stressed or both.
The sty is because you are run down and stressed.

I won’t go in to detail but aged 49 years I had a medical crisis and was seriously ill. I had a walking stick for a few months and had been bed bound for months. After lots of intervention including drugs, physio and therapy as I was diagnosed with PTSD after almost dying I’m still here.

I am 56 now and though I ached after I have done three hikes of 8 miles for 2 of them and 4 miles one of them this week involving a lot of stiles and mud.

If you can cut stress out of your life then do it whether people or situations.
I remember lying in bed hearing children playing outside, I have always been sensitive to noise but remember thinking well I would rather be irritated and alive so I need to remember this moment.

Don’t underestimate the effect the prolapsed discs have on your overall well-being. They contribute to everything. Not least that you hold your body in a way that is detrimental to your health. Think of everything that runs through your spine. Along with this the effect that constant painkillers have if you take them.
I had a herniated disc and it affected everything.
I wear only trainers now and I do an hour daily on an elliptical trainer for realignment which has resolved the issue to the extent that I don’t take painkillers . Focus on the disc issue before all others, whatever it takes to give you relief.

If you add “growing a dowager’s hump” and actually groaning when moving from down to up and back again. That was me at 53.

At 55 I haven’t magically turned into a human gazelle, but I look about ten years younger than I did (according to my peers, personally I’ve decided the only way to age gracefully is to stand well back from the mirror and refuse to wear my glasses near reflective surfaces).

I absolutely feel much better than I did in my late 30s, early 40s.

There are loads of apps and programmes out there which can help you turn the clock back as much as anybody can. Some people do better with a group of apps, others like me a “mind, body & soul all in one” thing works better.

But the faster you step in to turn things around (as far as feasibly possible, cos no app is a secret time machine) the better it’ll be for you in the long run. Cos 50 hits a damn sight hard than 40 😅

But make sure you check in with your GP as well. In case there is something lurking in your system and making it glitch. I don’t mean something sinister, even highly treatable minor things can set off a chain reaction of small but miserable complaints. And covid can leave people VERY run down, even if they didn’t feel too bad when they caught it. In summer of 2020 DH coughed once, whereas I tried to die and ended up in hospital with little holes in my brain cos covid gave me a TIA. But we both got thumped with a long standing issue in the digestive system. Easily treated, in an ongoing fashion. But until we got on the right track with that we suddenly found ourselves mired in ongoing small, but uncomfortable and mood impacting minor ailments.

"used to be fairly fit" why aren't you now?

I'm a few years old than you and have noticed a definite decline. It's only served to motivate me further and highlighted the importance of a decent diet and plenty of exercise. My hormones are wonky - it's either peri or 3rd Covid jab and Covid that have kicked them out. This has made it all worse.

I've read up on diet specific to my age and made various adjustments. Basically even more fruit and veg and making an effort to avoid processed stuff and booze. I've put a bit of weight on which I'm 'trying' to shift, it doesn't drop off like it used to 😡

I've become very dependent on a very gentle 20min stretching/ foam rollering routine once DS is asleep. I do it with the telly on. It's not tiring. If I don't do it either my hips, low back, neck or shoulders become very painful and my mobility drops to that of an arthritic 90 year old. This never used to be an issue in my 20's and 30's 😡

I have raced bikes (bicycles) on and off for years. But stopped when DS was small (now 6). I'm sick of this decline and feeling 'old,' and getting fat and creased. So I've entered a stack of races, drawn up a training programme and excited about this. It's keeping me motivated and I feel much better about myself, which was the whole point I guess. Still moving about like an arthritic 90 year old if I don't do my evening stretch. I need a lot more rest than I used to when I was younger. It's all very amateur (the races), I'm not gonna win... but I don't give a stuff. It's totally changed my outlook.

I should add I had two prolapsed discs in my 20's. I came back from it. I still get issues. I have a blooming marvellous Osteopath.

Cos 50 hits a damn sight hard than 40 😅

Well...arse!

My forties have hit like the lovechild of a steam roller and an express train...turning 50 on 2.5 years and this news is not encouraging!

OP if it makes you feel any better, it's not you. I expected a slow decline between 40 and 50 but for me it's been more like dropping off a cliff, although I have been hit by a constant stream of external stressor as well which I'm sure hasn't helped.

Peri/menopause, non existent basal metabolic rate thanks to underactive thyroid, eyesight changing (already very shortsighted but needed readers for a while and suspect I'm on my way to varifocals), dry skin, hair gone to shit, regular episodes of back, shoulder and knee pain.

Like @AlienatedChildGrown I'm determined to get on top of it as there's so much I want to do that requires me to be physically healthy.

It is an absolute mofo though.

My advice to anyone in their 40s is exercise, exercise,exercise. It will pay off in the long run. Also now is the time to really look after your teeth. Think of the money you might spend on hair and beauty stuff (if you do). Spend the same on your teeth. Go private so that you can get care on top of the basic NHS stuff.

Teeth and gums!

I find that with these things, you get one thing and it opens the door for others. In a few months you’ll be in fine fettle and will have forgotten all about it. You’ll also remember what it’s like to not feel shit.

You are at the age when you need to start turning the ship around... some people do this with aplomb and some people stall. I was worse off that you at 40 and I genuinely feel pretty good in myself (with less aches and pains) at 60. It's amazing what some simple changes can make. I would be looking holistically at your health, add something physical when the pain in your knees eases off (sorry that sounds horrible!) (that you enjoy and can do) for me it was swimming, but I went on to do line dancing, hillwalking, low impact exercise classes.

Look at your diet and start improving it one step at a time (my first thing was water, water, water!) But then just stop cakes, add veg...

I eventually started yoga and meditation and added gentle hobbies (music, reading)... Life isn't a race and it is meant to be as enjoyable as possible. I just made one change and stuck at it till it was comfortable and routine and then added something else.

This doesn't need to be a downhill journey - you can start climbing again - You are so young!

I'm over a decade older than you and can tell you that (from my pov) it's stress that wreaks havoc on your body. My 40s were a breeze, then DH and I both lost all our remaining parents in one year and my sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer - and now I'm a wreck.

Fix your disc issue - I agree that will be setting off a chain reaction of minor ailments, particularly in your muscles and bones - and find ways to remove or manage stress in your life.

Has anyone found any supplements that have actually made a difference? I take a general Multi bit and mineral, but there seem to be so many aimed at older women I just wonder if its all a con or not.

Would you mind linking to the routine?

In my 40s once the kids were at school I massively increased my physical exercise. Gym x 3 a week, running, spinning, swimming and weights too. Late 40s fittest I've ever been. Then at 52 discovered I had moderately high BP despite normal BMI, decent diet, never smoking and always fairly active. Long covid in combination with perimenopause completely dashed all that. I do walk a lot and job is very physically active but I'm nowhere near how I was.

I take a wellwoman max multi-vit that I think helps, I think it's probably the vitamin D that does the most but I will keep it up. I started taking cherry extract for inflammation and that was a game changer. It made a massive difference so they can definitely work - and I was always sceptical!

I do have good news though ! In my 50s, after an entire life time of worrying what people think etc., I’ve finally got comfortable in my own skin. Not in a grumpy fuck you kind of way. But genuinely at home in this one body, one brain (now with extra added holes), one “soul” (whatever it may be) that I have.

I don’t think I’d enjoy the down side of the hill anything like to this extent if I hadn’t found the right app to gently walk me into taking really good care of myself. But even before I started that about 13 months ago, I already felt the benefits of no longer caring too much what other people think of me.

It’s not all doom and gloom over this side of the hill. I wouldn’t go back. But I HIGHLY recommend finding whatever sticks for each individual getting into the best mind/body/spirit shape you can before the last bit of uphill happens. One life, one body, one you, in as tip top condition as possible on all fronts, so you enjoy
all the “WHEEEEEEEEE !” of coasting down the better side of the mid life crunch.

@AlienatedChildGrown would you mind sharing which app you use?

I'm 61 and fairly fit and healthy. I was unfit and a bit overweight when I hit my 40s but that was due to not having anytime to myself as I had 3 young children. In my mid 40s I started going to the gym and doing resistance training and I started running - I'm not a natural long distance runner so I only go about 4-5km but I try to run twice a week and go to the gym twice a week.

I have some deafness but I've had hearing problems since my 20s as I had repeated ear infections as a child. My mum and maternal grandmother both had rheumatoid arthritis and I do have some pain and swelling in one of my hands but I take turmeric and glucosamine and chondritine alongside vitamin D every day and that does seem to help. I rarely need to take painkillers. I am quite strong because of my resistance training but my grip is poor because of my arthritis

My mum was quite disabled at my age so I was determined to keep myself as fit and active as I could for as long as I could. My OH and I walk a lot - I can manage a challenging 6 miler without too many problems although I do find I feel more tired afterwards these days. I also try to keep my weight under control - I'm a size 12 most of the time. I have noticed that it takes me longer to recover from illness or injury than it used to

I think the key is to keep going. The older you get, the faster you lose your fitness if you stop exercising. My biggest weakness is probably my lack of balance - I'm always telling myself I need to practise every day but I'm very bad at it. It's really important to have good strength and balance as you get older.

Yes I have gallstones and at times they make me feel knackered with no motivation to do anything especially in this cold weather.

Also have the ear problem. My ears are constantly smelly and oozy and horrible. I have psoriasis in them not sure if that's the cause. No point asking for ENT referral, I'll be drawing my pension by the time I see a consultant!

I threw a lot of money at a lot of supplements. I think some of them worked. But not sure which ones. It was the gradual improvement of my nutrition that really made the significant impact.

Most of my supplements didn’t get bought a 4th time round after I started have one sardine (well ok, at first it was the whole tin, but the dog took a liking to them and then DS, and DH joined in, so a whole tin was getting expensive) for breakfast.

Now I take vit fit C when I remember and a cheapo vit B complex for luck.

The only thing I’m not doubtful of having really made a difference is wheatgerm oil as a second cleanser (first cheap stuff to clean face, then wheatgerm oil as a second cleanse, followed by rose water toner which is dead cheap, no moisturiser needed anymore) and wheatgerm in a bag to slap in yogurt or anything else that transports it from mouth to stomach. They really did make an obvious and significant improvement to how I look and feel pretty quickly. If I don’t restock when I run out I can tell within days. I look greyer, older, need to moisturise, feel hurty, knackered and my mood becomes harder to stabilise.

Not for everybody, but even the best iron supplements weren’t doing enough for me. So I eat about 15g of beef liver almost everyday. I have to cut it into the daily allowance, cook, cool and freeze the bits right at the bottom of the freezer out of sight in short order or I’ll snack on it all day. First 300g of beef liver got feasted in three days cos by day 2 of scoffing it I felt so awake and energised that I kept going back to the fridge for more. I felt amazing for a week 😂 But don’t want to overdose on vit A so use the deep freezer as an alternative of actually having any willpower.

Compared to how much I was shelling out for supplements this is much much much more bang for my buck.

Still handing over fistfuls of euros on a top quality pro biotic though. Using green bananas as a cheaper alternative to pre-biotics. LIDL usually has some lurking in the box under the open box. They also bloody work a bloody miracle if your digestive system is getting a bit sluggish with age, or medication is slowing things right down.

There's a lot of great advice here but I would also note that there are medical treatments for all these issues that might get rid of them -- have you been getting any treatment? Obviously the NHS is under huge pressure at the moment but still.

If you can't see your GP but could rustle up a bit of money you could have a couple one-off appointments that would probably help a lot.
One session with an osteopath would give you an exercise and diet routine to help with the discs and knee.
There is a prescription you can take for persistent athlete's foot, you can probably get this from an online pharmacy.
Pharmacy for the sty.
I would see a GP for the ears, an unchecked infection could have nasty consequences.

It is definitely important to take good care of ourselves as we age but it's not all about vitamins and exercise. Sometimes we need medications and treatments too.

The Fabulous. Little white ghost figure on a dark, colourful background. But not a ghost like Casper, more like a crudo figure, but more flowy.

Try the free version to see if it suits you before shelling out for the premium. There is no one size fits all in terms of a helping hand. It really is an individual thing. The first week I thought it was hippy bollocks and stopped. But I missed the gentle talk and no judgment style of this one, so came back to it. It’s the only one that clicks with me cos it very nicely and non judgmentally gets me back on the horse when I fall off. If you do like it don’t rush off and buy premium right away. I, or any other Fabulous user on here, all get invites to give away for a free month of the upgraded version.

I have a host of other apps I’ve used that really helped, but just didn’t “stick” enough for me, that might work for somebody else. There’s a really good one for mood (improved mood is a really important aspect of getting to a place where you can help yourself, help yourself IYSWIM) that’s free and very high quality. But I’ll have to rustle about in my ipad to find it. Will post name later.