I really want to go swimming tomorrow - but I'm scared

[needakickstart]

I weigh 144kg - 22 stone 9.

I'm shockingly unfit - I can just about walk 10-15 slow speed around a supermarket but even that's a struggle and I'm leaning on the trolley for support. I'm 31 and I feel like I'm 75. Tried to go for a gentle walk with my aunt and uncle over Christmas and I couldn't talk for being out of breath.

There is a reason - horrendous trauma - but as my cousin (bluntly) put it this weekend, 'you're doing yourself no favours constantly being poor me, poor me.'

My sister has recently been given a huge sum of money, and she wants to use this money to go to Disneyland Paris (she has autism/intellectual disability) ... neither of us have ever been on a real holiday - never been abroad - and I so desperately want to take her, but at my current weight I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing ... so I have the incentive to do something...

My GP has suggested I try swimming. I'm at university, their wellbeing service has offered for me to go swimming for free, for an hour at a women's only session.

I feel stupid - I'm neurodiverse and struggle with new things. I've been shown around the pool but their changing room system is a bit fancy, I can't quite remember how it was explained to me before.

I'm also acutely aware of how fat and unfit I am and I'm scared I'll collapse in the changing rooms if I try to swim even one length. The instructor I spoke to at the gym (in September) told me I can go in, and just get used to being in the water, floating, don't have to swim but just to move. It's not very deep water or anything.

I get palpitations sometimes when I exert myself, GP and cardiology have thoroughly investigated (cousin has a condition that could be inherited) and both said gentle swimming is fine and probably be of huge benefit to me.

I have a swimming costume etc, I really want to go, but how the hell am I going to make myself actually do it?

I think I would put my swimming costume on at home with clothes over the top so I didn’t have to change there. Start by going in the shallow end and floating, or just walking in the water? Good luck, you’ll be so proud of yourself if you can make this start!

Hi, good for you for getting this far, making the decision can be the toughest bit.

In the nicest possible way, no one else at the pool will be looking at you or thinking about you. They'll all have their own body hang ups and will just be getting on with their swim. They won't be watching you or judging you, so even if you only walk in the water, float, dip your toes in to get your confidence up, no one will bat an eyelid.

The staff are there to help you, so if the changing rooms and systems are confusing just let them know it's your first time and they'll help you. Other swimmers would too, I certainly would.

You've got a great thing to focus on getting fit and healthy for with the trip with your sister, so well done on the first step. Enjoy your first swim!

Go for it OP. You’ve got this. The first few times will be a novelty and then you’ll get used to it. You might get in a muddle in the changing rooms - so what, you’ll learn and the next time will be easier. The challenge is keeping it going. Make a regular slot for yourself and show up to swim, for yourself, in that slot, every time. Don’t think bout weight or progress until you’ve been going for a month at least. Eat something healthy (not slimming - I mean healthy, eg a protein smoothie with banana) after to refuel your body. Good luck!

You can definitely do this. You need a reward for when you've done it (not food - fellow fat person here 😁). Decide when you're going, don't think about it until then and just do it. Think of yourself as an adventurous person and throw caution to the wind.

I can tell you that once you get in and feel the water take the weight it is blissful so the hard part is going for the first time. As pp said, put your swimming cozzy on under your clothes. Maybe you could even get yourself a dri-robe or something to walk home in after so you don't have to change?

You can and will do this! Go!

Keep your expectations low. Congratulate yourself for getting through the door of the leisure centre. Then for getting changed . If you get in the water… even better. If you don’t like it , get out! You can try again next week. Baby steps is the way forward.
Once you’re in there you’ll realise everyone is just on a personal journey .

Hi - I'm so glad you posted this. I've been in your position. No one cares what you look like in a swimming suit. Truly. Just get in, walk around in the shallow end (steps are still steps even if they are in the water), move your arms. When you feel more comfortable go in the deeper end and just kick, do in water jumping jacks, frog lifts, skiing motion. You can get so much exercise and it is much less hard on your body. You will build up your stamina before you know it. I now take actual water exercise classes 3 times a week and feel much better! You can do it!

Go for it OP you will feel so proud of yourself when you do!!

Yes go swim ready with easy clothes to change back into. I started swimming again at a size 22 and am now a 16/18. It is daunting but you can do it and it is great exercise. No one will worry what you look like or how much you can do, just go and try. I started in the slow lane and now swim in the medium and in my session there are people who potter along and people who swim very fast. All ages and all abilities but all very accepting. Good luck!

I second the idea to put your swimsuit under your clothes at home, just don’t forget to put your undies in your bag!

Maybe think of this first time as a practice, just go, get yourself familiar with the layout and don’t feel you have to spend the whole hour in the pool. Do 5 minutes walking in the water if that’s what feels comfortable. Then next time you can try 10 minutes.

You can do hard things, and your sister will be so pleased to go on a trip with you.

I am very proud of you for being open to trying.

put your costume on at home, try gentle movements in the water first - maybe just walking up and down doing lengths.

nobody looks great in the pool and most people don’t judge one another.

if I saw you in the water my only thought would be “good on her”.

Go Go Go!!! You are amazing to even think of doing this - you can do it!! You don't have to swim, just get in, paddle about a bit and get out. No one will watch you or judge you, most will at the very least be thinking good on you.

Go for it, you have ab amazing motivator for the Disneyland trip - you can do it!

The only thing people will think (if anything) is 'good on you' for looking after yourself. In reality, most will just be thinking about their own swimming and their own lives.

Agree with PP: don't worry about doing a length. Just make it a goal get in and walk a bit. If you feel you want to do more, then great, but otherwise just get out again. Then next time will be easier and it's likely to be some of the same faces.

Take easy clothes to change into afterwards. You don't say how you're getting to and from the pool, but when I go swimming I tend to wear a loose dress and slip on sandals so it's the least amount of buttons/zips etc.

Go for it! I see lots of people walking up and down the lanes at the pool. No one will bat an eyelid, as long as you aren’t in the fast lane :)

I know you're not planning Outdoor Swimming, but reading Kathleen's story might help give you some inspiration to give Swimming a go. She is still doing it and still losing weight 😊
www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-12-30/its-changed-my-life-county-durham-mum-loses-20-stone-sea-swimming

It sounds like it would be an achievement to just get in the water. So think of it like that. Small steps. Be kind to yourself. You’re so young you’ve got time to turn this around, get your health back and enjoy life. I think the motivation to take your sister on holiday is a lovely thing to do.

Go for it!

You can do it! Nobody is looking at you, just wrap your towel around you until near the pool for a bit confidence. Also try adding an extra 15 mins of walking a day, increasing after 2 weeks and so on. The other thing you can do is keep an honest food diary including portion sizes and condiments, it's just for you, no need to be embarrassed, but you might be able to see where you are over eating and adjust accordingly so you can meet your goals. It's a brilliant carrot, you'll love Disneyland, and you can do it!!

If you get confused in the changing rooms, put on a smile and ask someone - I am forever saying things like 'I'm sure it is obvious, but how do I <use this locker>' and I've only ever had kindness in response.

You've got this. How great are you, for taking action to improve your life? That's something not everyone can do. Go you!

Nobody is going to bat an eyelid. I swim 2-3 times a week. The sizes vary, just like the abilities. Nobody cares, we do our thing and then go home.
If you’re unsure of anything, just ask the nearest person, people are nice and helpful.
Have a £1 coin and a shopping trolley coin for the locker. Have flip flops with you, the floor is cold and slippery. Go have fun. Seriously.
If it’s not deep, walk up and down a few times, just take the weight off your feet and shoulders, float a bit, hold on to the edge and kick your legs.
Next time try walking half the pool, swimming the other half. Slowly does it.
Get some nice body cream for after the shower, it’ll make you feel cared for.

I've recently got into the habit of going swimming regularly. It's something I used to love, but I stopped making time for it (or for myself in general). It was really nervous and kept putting it off, but once I got there I remembered what a pleasant thing it is to do even in a fairly run-down council pool! I always feel so much better after I've been both physically and mentally. Get your stuff organised, put your swimming suit on under your clothes to minimise fuss when you get there and tell yourself you only need to go once, and you don't need to stay in the pool for long if you are hating it. I bet you will love it!

You can do this. Ladies only sessions tend to be a bit more laid back. The one I go to has a real mix, quite a few older ladies, some average weight, some overweight. The thing is, everyone is just concentrating on themselves. In the nicest way possible, nobody is going to be looking at you or thinking anything about you.

Go, and enjoy it.

I often find the thought of doing certain things is far worse than the reality of doing the actual thing. My example is riding. I had a long break from riding and when I last rode I witnessed a fatal and tragic accident involving two riders. I got myself in a right state about going riding again, the thought of "what if" kept me up all night and the anxiety was huge but I really wanted to go as it is my thing. When I eventually plucked up the courage to do it the reality was far less challenging than I could have ever imagined. In fact it was a breeze!

Deep breaths and get it over with, I think you will surprise yourself at how straight forward it will be compared to how you have built it up in your mind. Baby steps, even if the first time you just go and potter around the shallow end for a bit, it is one step closer than you were before, then go again and do a little bit more and so on. Before you know it you will be swimming and hopefully enjoying it.

My autistic DD finds the sensory and transition aspects of the changing rooms the hardest part of swimming.

She now wears her swimming, suit, onesie and cosy slipper boots to the pool. She wears Flare audio ear plugs for the noise.

She has a swimming mat to stand on and Crocs to wear so her feet don't touch the floor.

She uses a very large and cosy hooded towel to get dry while standing on the swimming mat.

She puts the onesie, slippers and a cosy hat on afterwards. She has something to eat as soon as she is dressed.

I recommend an aqua aerobics class if they have it, very low impact and gentle exercise.
can you get a friend to go with you?

Do it OP! Somehow, gather that strength inside you and try it. If you don't like it, just do ten minutes then try again next week. You've been given a real opportunity (free swimming) and motivation (holiday) here that together could turn your life around. Swimming is such wonderful, freeing exercise and will do you so much good - not just in terms of health, but your wellbeing, mental health, sense of self...

We're all behind you.

Aqua jog is also good and low impact too.