I really want to go swimming tomorrow - but I'm scared

[needakickstart]

I weigh 144kg - 22 stone 9.

I'm shockingly unfit - I can just about walk 10-15 slow speed around a supermarket but even that's a struggle and I'm leaning on the trolley for support. I'm 31 and I feel like I'm 75. Tried to go for a gentle walk with my aunt and uncle over Christmas and I couldn't talk for being out of breath.

There is a reason - horrendous trauma - but as my cousin (bluntly) put it this weekend, 'you're doing yourself no favours constantly being poor me, poor me.'

My sister has recently been given a huge sum of money, and she wants to use this money to go to Disneyland Paris (she has autism/intellectual disability) ... neither of us have ever been on a real holiday - never been abroad - and I so desperately want to take her, but at my current weight I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing ... so I have the incentive to do something...

My GP has suggested I try swimming. I'm at university, their wellbeing service has offered for me to go swimming for free, for an hour at a women's only session.

I feel stupid - I'm neurodiverse and struggle with new things. I've been shown around the pool but their changing room system is a bit fancy, I can't quite remember how it was explained to me before.

I'm also acutely aware of how fat and unfit I am and I'm scared I'll collapse in the changing rooms if I try to swim even one length. The instructor I spoke to at the gym (in September) told me I can go in, and just get used to being in the water, floating, don't have to swim but just to move. It's not very deep water or anything.

I get palpitations sometimes when I exert myself, GP and cardiology have thoroughly investigated (cousin has a condition that could be inherited) and both said gentle swimming is fine and probably be of huge benefit to me.

I have a swimming costume etc, I really want to go, but how the hell am I going to make myself actually do it?

Try to lower the pressure - just say to yourself you'll go and try. If for any reason you get overwhelmed don't feel bad - just go home and you can try again another day IF you want. I find swimming tough from a sensory perspective and I'm very self conscious. This isn't going to change so I'm trying to be kind to myself when I do go and not add to much pressure on myself.
Swimming is great but in reality cutting calories will have the biggest impact on your weight and fitness so keep focused on that. As the weight comes off you'll end up moving more easily and get fitter.

You can do it 🌸

Swimming is such a wonderful therapeutic activity; as your doctor says, you don't have to actively try and swim yet, just get in, go down on your knees or even sit for a while and feel the water supporting you. Maybe take the time to do some calming breathing exercises and positive meditation/visualisation?

If you need support at the time of going, you could post on this thread as you are on your way, we'll support you!

I had something tricky to do a few months ago and I found the support of the posters on my thread helped me through step by step - so post here step by step and we'll help you through - right up to the point where you put your phone in the locker!

The first time doing something new is always a bit daunting but you'd be doing something super positive for yourself and your sister. Well done for planning this, you can totally do it!

Why not treat yourself to some lovely special shower gel for afterwards or a new fluffy towel? I used to take cocoa butter when I went swimming and covered myself after using their lovely hot showers - I came out feeling relaxed and smelling fab - like I'd spent the afternoon in a spa!

I'd email the pool and ask if it would be possible for someone to just show you round the changing room at whatever the start time of the session is. Then just aim to get changed, into the pool, float around for 5 minutes, and then get out. I'm sure that will be really tiring. Then you can do a bit of walking in the water the next time and build it slowly up.
Swimming is super friendly, and I find other ladies are always happy to help out

Thanks so much - this is been so helpful to read, I'm almost a bit tearful reading back - thanks so much. I am going to go, I'll get my bag packed tonight and then there's zero excuse. The pool's on uni campus so only 10 mins from my flat, so not far to travel at all.

I think as you say yes, once I've done it this week it'll get easier and easier. I used to swim every week a few years ago and miss it, so I'd love to get back into that sort of routine again.

Ask the staff to show you what to do in the changing rooms. Wear your cossie from home and remember your underwear in your bag.

Hairbrush
Shampoo
Goggles if you want them
Towel
Water bottle
Snack for afterwards
Clean underwear
Flip flops
Pound for the locker

Well done, you can do this. Just go and bob about a little. Maybe try 2 lengths and just get used to the pool.

It's going to feel amazing. Getting in the water and moving around without the pressure in your knees. Enjoy OP

Swimming is amazing for using bodyfat/food. You actually burn quite a bit just from being in cool water, so floating about is good even if you can't swim lengths yet.

Moving more freely (because of the support water gives) make exercise easier on the joints too. You can start to get fitter as you get lighter and yet do no damage.

I agree about treating yourself to fluffy towels and lovely soaps.
Well done on making the decision to be shown around. Fingers crossed for an enjoyable first session.

I go swimming weekly because the kids love it and honestly nobody takes any notice of anyone else and there's people in all shapes and sizes.

Well done for taking the first step and that is the hardest step and you've done it by just deciding to help yourself.
Don't turn back now have you got a friend to go with you for support?

Ah op I echo others – swimming cossie on under your clothes, also make your clothes loose ones (so not tights or jeans) as that is easier to take off and put on again. I love swimming in the summer when it’s swimmy, dress and go. But even in the winter, juts choose some comfy joggers and a hoody over your costume. They you can change in a cubicle and put your things in a locker and off into the pool. Baby steps. You can totally do this.

Agree no one is looking at you in the pool. We are all just doing our own swim. I swim often and I can honestly say I have never even come close to thinking anything negative about anyone. Floating in the shallow end – great! Try a few strokes – just see what feels good. The water is so supportive, it is a great way to exercise.

Wear your swimsuit under your clothes. If you find the changing rooms daunting on your first visit then just put your clothes back on over your wet swimsuit. It's a 10 min walk home and you can get cleaned up and dry there.

I've been everything from a size 14-24 and gone swimming, never have I been aware of anyone making comments or looking at me funny so I feel confident saying that no one will be paying you any attention. Not that that changes how you feel but just to give assurance that you'll be left to it.

If it turns out to be something you want to continue then you can get waterproof MP3 players on Amazon or decathlon for under £50. They're brilliant, plug in to a computer, drag mp3 files onto it and then you can listen to music while you swim and effectively block out the world. Aqua aerobics classes are always good fun too. Usually a huge variety of people of all fitness levels, ages and sizes and you just do what you can.

That’s amazing OP!
try to remember that the first time doing something can feel a bit disorienting for anyone. It’s a normal feeling and it’s ok.

the next time you go it will be more familiar and again the next time until it’s absolutely fine and a loved part of your week.

I hope you love it! A nice walk around in the water will feel great.
There are two ladies in their 20s at the pool I go to. They started off having a little walk up and down the pool. Now they seem to jog for 20 mins or so. Great exercise with less pressure on their joints than walking/jogging in air x

Can you think back to something in your life where you had to do something you were worried about doing?

Perhaps the first day you went into Uni? Or a trip to the dentist?

You were fearful beforehand but you did it and overcame your fears.

On occasions like this we build things up in our mind, all the what if’s about something awful happening etc.

Getting hyped up increases the fear.

In reality it will never be as bad as you think it will be and you will feel great that you did something you didn’t think you could do.

Its the first step in getting your life back on track and you can do it and will feel good about it.

You will be glad you went, even treading water is gentle exercise that you can do to start with if lengths are too much to start with. I made myself start going recently and love it. Even when I don’t feel like going, I’m always glad I did when I’m in the pool, it’s so relaxing and a good way to exercise for all levels of fitness or unfitness without damaging joints.

I also recommend swimming cossie under clothes to make it quicker and easier in the changing room. Just don't do what I once did and completely forget to take a towel to get dried with after 🤦🏼‍♀️ thankfully my gym membership included sauna and steam room so I was able to dry off in the sauna otherwise that would've been fun trying drip dry in a changing room. If you don't feel like you can swim the full length of the pool just swim half way. It'll get easier the more you do it. Don't worry about being slow at first either. I did and still do swim at a snails pace. Once you get used to swimming and if your pool does one I'd highly recommend a swim for health class. It teaches different swimming strokes, swimming using just arms etc etc. it's also split into 2 groups beginners and slower swimmers in 2 lanes and faster swimmers in the other 2 lanes so you never feel like you're getting in anyones way. You just swim at a speed comfortable for you. Take a bottle of water if you need to and leave it at the side of the pool. I usually just take a big towel with me and leave it close by to where I'm getting out but other people bring a towelling dressing gown. Another recommendation is flip flops to walk to and from the changing rooms. Stops your feet from freezing on the cold wet floor and is much better if you need the toilet mid way through cos you've something on your feet.

Best of luck OP. Enjoy it!

I don’t know if this will help you feel better in any way but whenever I see overweight people exercising I never think anything other than ‘good for them’. I exercise a lot and see people of all different sizes as I do, never had a negative thought and I’d imagine most people are the same as me.

I’m just back !

Couldn’t do full sustained lengths, although plenty of widths - but did a lot of walking, stretching and bending my knees/hips etc - all of which I can’t do easily on dry land! Hoping to be able to do a full length by the end of this month if not before, and then build up from there . Absolutely loved it though and now that I’ve been once I know how it works for next time too, so I’m delighted !

Well done!
I do lunges in the pool, walk sideways, swish my arms about... you can do loads of exercise that's not just swimming.

Be very proud of yourself! Remember that you've done this and it went well, next time you face a challenge!

Fantastic! I was thinking about you and hoping you had a good time

Ooh I meant to ask! Well done! 🎖

The most difficult bit was making yourself do it so EXTREMELY WELL DONE for getting in!!

That's brilliant OP - well done. I couldn't swim at all until I was well into my 40s and it was a holiday which incentivised me too. I wanted to go snorkelling in the Maldives, which I did! I'm still not brilliant but I can't tell you how proud of myself I felt when I did my first width without putting my feet down I really hope you get to go to take your sister on holiday and have a great time.

Wonderful news. I'm a keen (if not very fast) swimmer and what I love about it is how equal opportunity it is. I swim lengths every morning and there is every age, every body shape, both sexes, and a few people with visible disabilities all enjoying getting fitter in the pool.

Congratulations that’s brilliant news

Well done! Every time you go now, it'll be easier. First time is always the worst. Keep at it 🤩