My friend and I used to have a great friendship. She would turn up whenever she felt and I cooked for her and this arrangement just worked. We chatted for hours.
Ever since she got a boyfriend two years ago she was barley available to meet up. She was going through the honeymoon phase. This phase has lasted two years.
I raised with her very politely last summer than I had invited her to so many things and she had turned them all down and therefore would wait for her to suggest a plan next time. I said that since she has been in a relationship she has been very absent. I told her that it is fine if she wants less meet ups but that i won't be making the effort to make suggestions. She seemed very surprised and hadn't noticed and said she would make more effort. She left early because her boyfriend arrived back earlier than she expected. I saw the text.
Every two months I would invite her to something and she would say 'I don't know what my plans are for that weekend yet' and then never get back.
Last time we met up she really insulted me. I know she didn't mean to but she said two cocky comments which were quite out of character for her. I posted about it here and people said she was naive and rude.
She has tried to message me this week to meet up. The problem is that I don't have an income now and don't want to spend but don't want to be judged for this. I don't want her to bombard me with suggestions of great jobs that have very high salaries like hers because I find it quite patronizing.
After back and fourth and back and fourth with times we are both free Sunday afternoon.
I invited her round to help me assemble my Ikea furniture wardrobes as that was my plan for Sunday. I have asked if she could help me with something before only twice and on both occasions she was busy. I thought I could cook for her but didn't suggest that in the text. I have helped her in the past with errands and I thought if she was helping me it may help me move past the insults and see her as the kind person I know she is.
She has just texted me back saying shall we meet in the evening for a meal and drinks then.
I don't know why this has pissed me off and she turned it down because she doesn't want to help. I think it's because i give a lot to my friendships and I think in order to move forward I need to see her give. I helped her shift a really heavy table up four flights of stairs for 45m. I will help friends move, check CVs, read over applications, paint a front door and really these are the kind of friends I would like to. Was I unreasonable for her to ask me to help her in this way?
I just don't know how to respond because I don't want to burn bridges incase this is a low patch and I change my mind later. I just don't know how to respond to a friend but I am not wanting to meet up in the near future, I don't want any nastiness or to have to explain. Please tell me if i'm being unreasonable or if what text I should send.
I am tempted to say. Are you no longer free Sunday afternoon or do you not want to help with furniture. Then I know if shes prioritized someone else or doesn't want to help.