Old habits DRY hard! It's DRY JANUARY thread #2... newcomers always welcome!

[HPLikecraft]

Here we are, a shiny new thread to help us stay dry.

Thread one has been great and supportive; and thread two will take us through further challenges and milestones. Hop aboard; you're all doing brilliantly!

Well, in somewhat earth-shattering news, it looks like DH and I may be parting ways 😢

I would be lying if I said it's unexpected, but DJ has uncovered a lot of the cracks that I've managed to ignore with alcohol. It's not acrimonious (and he's desperate not to) but I feel a real sense of clarity that's been missing for quite some time, as well as a sense of overwhelming sadness.

It was tough not to have a drink last night to commiserate with myself, but this morning I'm clear headed and resolved. I certainly wouldn't be in this place without DJ <dark look>

@Champagneforeveryone

That is a big development. Thanks for sharing. Even if it's your choice it's still sad for you I am sure and not a decision you have arrived at easily.

It's amazing that it's DJ that has given you that clarity to do something that has undoubtedly been on the cards for a while.

I think I would have cracked last night in your case regardless. Very strong.

I'm sure there will be a difficult path ahead but well done for making the decision if it feels like the right one.

Big hugs @Champagneforeveryone tough and difficult decision, I'm sure. Really hoping it is a smooth transition for you both. Such strong resolve where DJ is concerned too.

Posted in old thread too - not too sharp mentally this morning

I feel a wretch
I visited a friend and she had a glass of wine poured for me as I arrived and after a horrible day I caved.
And then drank at every opportunity
I obviously have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and yet I keep returning to it believing that next time it will be different.
Back on track now
Making promises to myself ( again)
So cross that I couldn't even do Dry January with all the support on here.

@Champagneforeveryone I am so sorry to hear this… wishing you peace and strength in the difficult days ahead.

@OneFrenchEgg Sentia is a drink that purports to make you feel relaxed and nice… mimicking some of the gentler effects of alcohol, without the other risks. It does do something (to me, at any rate) but not a huge amount. And it’s expensive.

@Stickywhitelovepiss Well, what can I say! That’s fantastic! I’m sure we’re all nodding with a groan as we read. So relatable! You’ve set the bar high, So we really have our work cut out now!
I meant to work on my “talent” last night but didn’t get round to it and I’ve lost its eyes, so my entry may be a little incomplete. I’ll probably enter it a few minutes before midnight!

Don’t forget to post your entry today before midnight, everyone. Doesn’t have to be brilliant. The object is to have fun rather than leave everyone gobsmacked with your amazing news; though of course if you can do both so much the better!

*amazing skills, that should say!

@Stickywhitelovepiss your poem is a sensation! And hugely relatable. Thank you for doing that for us!

@Champagneforeveryone very sorry to hear this news but like others have said, there is real clarity and conviction in your words and I wish you continued strength and also happiness as the year unfolds. What a powerful month Dry January is turning out to be.

@Sunshineesther thank you for sharing your slip up with us, and please try not to feel too cross with yourself. I'm sure most of us here would describe our relationship with alcohol as unhealthy, I certainly do. Can you see last night as just a little bump in the road of your bigger journey and get back on the wagon with us?

@Stickywhitelovepiss totally brilliant! You have set the bar high!

@Champagneforeveryone sorry to hear your news. That must be hard, even if you know in your heart that it's the right thing to do. Sending hugs.

@Sunshineesther climb back on the wagon, no judgement here. I think so many of us on this thread would describe our relationship with alcohol as unhealthy and completely understand.

Well I am finding DJ easy this weekend but that's because I'm ill so I have had to cancel everything I had planned. I feel rubbish!

On a more positive note, I've decided to extend DJ for a further week until 3rd Feb. Usually I stop DJ on 28th Jan, as it's my youngest DC's birthday, and I always joke that no way am I organising a kids birthday party without the promise of wine at the end But this year I'm going to see if I can stay strong and go the whole hog of DJ plus a few extra days.

Glad to see a few others are staying on until 3rd Feb. I know that'll help me. I can foresee I'll struggle once there's the word February on the calendar.

@Sunshineesther I sometimes think that this Samuel Beckett quote should be pinned to the top of every thread where people are trying to do something over a period of time, be it moderate alcohol intake, diet, exercise or something else:

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

I want to congratulate you for posting on here and for your determination to get back on the horse!

@Champagneforeveryone clarity can be a real bitch... But if you and your DH can keep things amicable there is no reason why both your lives shouldn't be happier as a result.

@Sunshineesther you've still drunk a lot less in January than you would have, and it's not necessarily bad to have that moment of realisation. It is possible to have a healthy relationship with alcohol (I do), but not for everyone and if it has to be teetotal, so be it. I wish you all the strength in the world.

I'm in until the 3rd of Feb, I am sticking to my usual 4 dry days weekly so that's how the dates fall for me.

@Sunshineesther I had a lapse and everyone was so lovely and non judgmental so I got right back on the wagon and have stayed on since
@Champagneforeveryone hugs and v impressed you didn't drink!

Thanks I'll google it (sentia) not sure I want to introduce something with 'properties' though, I'm quite an addictive personality. Night out tonight and we'll see if I break DJ. Not feeling particularly desperate for a drink tbh.

A lapse is not the end. I had a blib on the 11th and havent drunk since so still way better than normal

@Champagneforeveryone that is such a big decision and of course not something you decide on a whim. Wishing you and your DH all the best in the coming months. You're so strong.

@Stickywhitelovepiss that is a brilliant poem, you have such a talent! Love it and so true as well.

I’ve not caught up with the thread yet (will look properly later) but just needed to vent - I’m in the pub with a few friends and struggling massively. Not being able to have a glass of red when everyone else is drinking is such a downer.

This is so so SO hard.

Ah it's not easy to choose the more difficult path in life but if you're not happy then best in the long run to part ways

It's fucking hard work so don't beat yourself up. The important thing is you keep at it after your slip up

Stick with it @freshstart2023 💪

Dry January benefit of the day:

YOUR FACE

Alcohol can cause differences to your appearance a so-called "wine face"

Alcohol is dehydrating to skin, so it makes fine lines and wrinkles look worse, and exacerbates dry skin.

It contributes to inflammation leading to highly coloured cheeks and a red nose, exacerbated by the fact alcohol causes the capillaries of the cheeks and nose to dilate, drawing blood to the surface of the skin. With habitual booziness, the face may attain a permanent ruddy appearance.

The blood vessel dilation can mean permanent visible spider veins on the face.

The dehydration causes fluid retention and a puffy appearance; it also leeches vitamins and nutrients away, leaving a grey unhealthy appearance.

Please see these pics of a 40 year old mum, who stopped drinking for a month...

P.S. don't forget to post your "talent" tonight. We need to give @Stickywhitelovepiss a run for her money!

Unexpected test here as we've been invited to friends for drinks this evening. I thought about delaying it until Feb but decided to go with it. I'll drive so that removes any question of drinking and take some trusty raspberry lemonade x

Glad you all liked it! I'm not a poet in any meaningful capacity, but can usually crank out a comedy ditty if and when inspiration hits...

@Champagneforeveryone Well done on coming to what sounds like a 'long time coming' decision - AND sticking with DJ still (though don't put undue pressure on yourself too, this is heavy stuff...).

So I managed not to drink in the pub but felt so so irritable during and after. I’m determined to hang on until February 1st but my goodness it feels a long way away right now.

@HPLikecraft the difference in that woman’s face is truly remarkable - wow.