Old habits DRY hard! It's DRY JANUARY thread #2... newcomers always welcome!

[HPLikecraft]

Here we are, a shiny new thread to help us stay dry.

Thread one has been great and supportive; and thread two will take us through further challenges and milestones. Hop aboard; you're all doing brilliantly!

Honestly I’ve really struggled. Going out when everyone else is drinking has left me feeling really flat, miserable and so drained. I don’t think about alcohol too much at home now (certainly far less than I did even a week ago) but when I’m out with friends it’s so hard. Truthfully I’d actually rather avoid social situations altogether and stay home and read a book than go out and be surrounded by people drinking when I’m stone cold sober.

Sorry to be so downbeat but that’s where I’m at right now!

Who did you see?

Social occasions... i did find it upsetting when half of book club piled into each other in a drink fuelled row. It didn't tbh make me want to drink though, it made me want to leave.

I have quite a lot of nondrinking friends, either full teetotal or one glass types. That's partly my age. So I guess it is less of an issue for me.

Thanks for your replies all of them! @freshstart2023 I also avoided social occasions for a long time when I had more of a stint than now. Nothing wrong a book and being AF knowing you will wake up the next day hangover free!
Book club sounded dramatic @PermanentTemporary ! Hope you are ok . And great about non drinking friends and 1 glass friends I have 1 glass friends but always have to neck it!!! I've often caught up with my good friend in a pub and she's had coffee and I've had prosecco! I just need to change my mind set ...it's not all about drinking when going out etc. Part of me doesn't even want to go but this month has been filled with a lot of birthdays and what not! Was easier when we did dry Jan in lockdown!! Which was the last time I actually did it properly.

Social occasions... i did find it upsetting when half of book club piled into each other in a drink fuelled row. It didn't tbh make me want to drink though, it made me want to leave.

Oh yes, I’ve been involved in my fair share of those over the years - taken it too far due to the drink then bitterly regretted it the next day. I must admit it is nice being totally in control when you’re out and not having any anxiety about what you might have said or done the next morning.

I’ve not had much socialising this month so have avoided temptation but I have a 6 night work trip coming up which is going to be a real test. There are a couple of evening events and as someone who is quite shy, alcohol is normally my go to to help loosen me up & feel less nervous. Slightly dreading doing it all sober 😬

Well checking in with you all. Today had several real trigger tests for me.

Have had 2 very long and intense last couple of days - 1st trigger, which included a presentation this morning for an important client I was meeting for the first time. 2nd trigger.

Presentation went really well 👌 3rd trigger. Late getting home because had lots of work to catch up on. 4th trigger. Got home and DH was making bolognese for dinner - 5th trigger. DH back is really sore and painful atm, so I offered to go and get some red wine for him to self-medicate - 6th trigger. Got some wine and really did contemplate having a glass, because of all of the triggers above. I even bought a low alcohol 0.5% bottle for me. I didn't touch a drop of either, and felt happy and content not having any. All tucked up in bed with a herbal tea.

Think DJ has really reset my relationship with alcohol, which was much needed. I was using wine like it was just a regular drink of pop, when really it should be a treat or for special occasions.

Good luck everyone we're on the downward slope.

@Soberjan I've been at a birthday party and then another gathering where everyone but me was drinking. I'm not going to lie, they were tedious. I just gritted my teeth and got through it. I wish I could say I had this new found sober strength and sociability but it wasn't the case.

I've done no socialising at all. I don't feel like doing it dry.

Well done everyone for sticking with it. I've had AF beer and wine tonight, just needed something. I have been trying to only do AF drinks on days I want to drink alcohol after DJ. Like others, it's work that makes me want to drink of an evening, it helps switch off the stress and not think about it for while!

Most of my friends are the one glass or nothing type of people as well and seem to have got more so over the years so actually not drinking in social situations works better for me. I tend to get a bit argumentative after a few drinks and so feel less worried about saying the wrong thing if I'm not drinking.

In my year of not drinking much, I went to several big social events (weddings etc) and realised quite how repetitive and boring drunk people are. I just got through them by dancing or mooching off to talk to a non drunk elderly relative.

Also I am the only driver in the house so often can't drink anyway.

For me it is the drinking at home that has a habit of creeping up, especially as an antidote to boredom or a way of switching off. I am actually finding knitting is quite helpful as an alternative.

OMG @KatieKline you have hit the nail on the head there re the necking wine as if it’s pop! That’s exactly how I can be with some of my favourite white wines. I can glug them down like ribena. Really need to adjust that mindset-glad to say though that this DJ is helping do that.

That said, I have no drink-related social events this month - quite deliberately perhaps! Although tbh I’m just as likely to drink at home. Next big trigger for me will be Saturday night when i get home having dropped DS1 back to uni - he’s in his first year and is kind of ok, but not loving it, so I’m going to worry, and am so used to turning to wine to help me manage the worry. Really want to stay strong though.

well done everyone, we’ve done another day!

Lightbulb moment here...it's not socialising without alcohol that's not fun...it's that drunk people are unbearable to be around

Me neither. I don't mind other people drinking though, as long as they aren't smashed and punchy then they are absolutely fine. I don't feel superior by not drinking, just different.

When I was at university a family member had an alcoholic crisis and I reacted by giving up alcohol for 18 months. I partied hard on coffee and it didn't bother me one jot. Luckily I couldn't drive so didn't end up having to mother everyone else - I used to drink a lot of ribena!

I used to think I couldn’t socialise sober but I spend all day at work having a good time and good chats stone cold sober and then someone said to me that if I couldn’t have fun with my friends without alcohol, I needed new friends.

so true!

I can socialise without alcohol , and do find it quite alarming how people change with a few drinks inside them ( I know I get a bit mouthy , I’m not shining a halo )
if DH and I go out for dinner in a restaurant, one of us will drive , and the other will only have one glass of wine , it’s the drinking at home that’s the problem for me , which is why I’m still thinking how long and in which way I’m going to continue
Have a drink on holiday ✅ most likely
Drink at home ❓I don’t know , maybe just buy one “naice “ bottle and make it last 3 nights , or keep dry ? ( keeping dry is possibly easier ! )

Ok, day 19! Thursday is a toughie, getting close to the weekend now! This is part of my problem, the weekend has expanded to include Thursday and Sunday and now lasts longer than the actual week

I think it'll make a huge difference getting into the day twenties tomorrow. Much more like being on the home straight.

This is so true. You could go out for coffee in the afternoon with friends and have a laugh; chat with colleagues, family members, friends at most times and be comfortable and uninhibited. You had fun as a child/adolescent without booze so you should be able do it now, too!
I suppose there are a few problems here: the mental association of a night out somewhere, friends round for dinner etc. that always makes you think "BOOZE!", the fact that others are drinking and behaving in a boozy way, and the fact that booze is just there beckoning and tempting. It's tricky.
I've been a bit hermit-like this month but am going out twice next week. One event, in particular, would be greatly helped by a glass of wine!
I wont cave, but the longing will be there.

Progress report time. 11am today sees us ...

59.5%

of the way through. What is that little white dot I see ahead? Is it the light at the end of the January tunnel? Could be! 😌

Oooh, my Sentia just arrived - will feed back later.

I'm contemplating making this a 2 month challenge and making it to end of Feb...

Yes, the socialising thing is hard. I feel like I have a really short attention span for conversation. Like when I’m in a group, inevitably topics or discussions will come up that I’m not really all that interested in. I fake interest but alcohol gives me something else to do! I think without that, I’d be bored after an hour and want to go home! I also usually go to bed quite early so alcohol also helps me stay “lively” when I’d otherwise be yawning. It probably doesn’t help that in my friendship group we usually meet after work as we all work and live across different parts of London so it’s just more convenient. But then it makes it a long evening. So either a long evening sober or too much drinking!

I think it'll make a huge difference getting into the day twenties tomorrow. Much more like being on the home straight.

That will feel good. For me the end will really feel in sight when we get to Monday 23rd, as that’ll be the final full week. That’s what I’m aiming for now.

As I plan to keep 4 weekdays every week AF, my first drink will be 3rd Feb. Normally by now, I'm totally over drinking and planning to carry on for 100 days, but this year is tough. I think maybe because I'm now retired and not working, so I get a bit bored of an evening, plus weekends no longer have the significance they used to.

Feb 2nd. It's a Friday and I have to take dd to a sports thing and won't be back until about 9.30pm. I will probably have a large glass of red.

So, over half way, lots of different experiences shared and much to help me as I decide 'what next?'
So far, so OK. Have not really thought too much about alcohol and that is a positive change for me. Some stresses, which aren't going away, that would usually send me towards the Sauv Blanc have been better managed by thinking how much harder to manage with a hangover.
I think I am finding this DJ easier to navigate because I am riding along with everyone here.
So currently plan to stay AF for the first 3 weeks of Feb and then roll in to AF Lent. Interestingly, 100 days from 1 Jan ends on Easter Monday too.

I just deal with this by having zero social life!!