Mature student, wanting to quit uni

[Maturestudenthelpp]

I’m almost 30 and I started uni in September, studying English lit and history mostly because those are the subjects I have most interest in and have always excelled at. I selected a university an hour away from home which may have been my first mistake because I don’t drive so rely on trains. I had a choice of two universities- one is 30 mins and one train away and the one I chose is 60 mins and two trains away. I chose this one because during both the open day and applicants day I just preferred it for lots of reasons, I felt way more comfortable there and not out of place. The trains are a nightmare at the best of times. Often late, always overcrowded and lately striking endlessly so that is posing an issue in itself.

I have young DC, a DH and everything that comes along with that to worry about so I’m a million miles away from any other student on my course. It’s a small uni so there’s around 25 others doing history and probably 30 doing English (some doing both like me). I overhear conversations and can tell by the look of them though that none are anywhere near my age. I was told there’s usually 2-3 mature students any given year but I now realise mature is 21+ so yeah, there is another one I know of but he is 21 and lives in student digs with the rest… I just feel like a massive outcast because I can’t relate to their lives but also a lot of their views, I’ve plodded on anyway.

I’ve completed the first set of assignments and feedback was generally fairly good although not as great as I would like. It’s 5 years since I last studied (did an access course before DC) so a long time out of the game and I made a few silly errors. One ‘lecturer’ (not really a lecturer, he’s a PHD student) is a bastard and harshly marks everyone’s work though so even though he admitted my work was great in a meeting afterwards, he just completely ripped it to shreds when he marked it. He says he does this to get the best out of students but it ripped my confidence to shreds. Two seminars are run by PHD students for whatever reason and one of them is 24 years old and just sits on his phone throughout then let’s us go after 45 minutes so often feels pointless even attending, especially when this seminar is the only thing I have that day. I was honest and told the module leader this when she asked for feedback before Christmas and she never responded so now feel like I’ve insulted her in some way and I feel even more awkward.

The crux of it is that after the month long Christmas break, I actually don’t want to return. My 4 year old hates nursery which isn’t helping, I have enormous Mum guilt sending him. DH is adamant I carry on, he says I’ll hate myself forever if I quit. I just actually don’t want to do it anymore though. It’s the slog of waking up early, getting DC ready for nursery, dropping them off, stuffing myself on crowded trains to get there and then just being surrounded by teenagers discussing their sex lives, it’s kind of getting to me. I’ve considered switching to the other university but I’m not sure if that would be any better? Am I always going to be the outcast at any uni?

It sounds like a really craply run course to be fair OP - I'd be considering transferring, especially with the train commute and how crap the trains are these days. I've just done a degree as a more mature than you student - and the first year commuting in by train was bad enough, the strikes would have broken me and for my 2nd and 3rd years I managed to get a campus car park pass to drive in - which made things much easier.

You're at that "hump" bit of the year anyway where the weather's shit, the deadlines are biting and you're feeling like you've been hit by a truck - I nearly quit several times during my course, and my lovely departmental staff had me in tears in the office several times, and it was only the fact that my course was an incredibly small and supportive one that got a lot of us through the pandemic period. I did speech and language therapy which had a very tangible focus at the end of it - I don't think I'd have coped as well with a traditional "academic for the love of the subject" course at this point in my life (I've done that before when I was 18).

There's a mature study board on here now in the Education topic by the way - worth posting in there.

I looked into doing this (degree in humanities to become a teacher in however many years but decided teaching wasn’t a viable career. Have you looked at the teaching threads and the huge Facebook group full of teachers desperately trying to get out? And the stats on 1/3 (or was it 2/3?) of newly trained teachers leaving within 5 years?

I don’t say this to put you off, we do need teachers and good luck to you if you go for it. But it sounds like your DP thinks this will be something that will advance you and he may not understand the reality of what you’ll be facing at the end of it all.

Have you investigated teaching as a career? Volunteered in school? Primary or Secondary English?

I would finish the year and talk to your uni about an exit qualification for the one year you have completed. If you don't like it don't go back but you have then banked the effort you have put in so far. Doing half the year is a huge waste and at this point you may well have to pay close to 100% fees anyway.

I personally don't rate the OU so I wouldn't recommend that option (historically yes but last few years, very definitely no.)

Definitely 'try before you buy' with teaching imo. Have a go as a TA or LSA or similar first. Could you take a year out to do that? You could also try TEFL online or in person.

You can also do school direct I think without the initial degree? I used to work with a couple of teachers who didn't have PGCEs. Think they started as LSAs in secondary and then did training on the job which you can do without the debt.

I also loved humanities and studied MFL and Humanities subjects, but tbh, I wouldn't have except that it was pretty cheap to do it back then so the whole university experience was a good enough reason to go. If you aren't even getting that experience and your fees are £££££££....I'm not 100% sure it's worth it unless you want to be an academic with a PhD maybe working in universities

It sounds like the biggest single problem is that you're not happy with the childcare. Can you look for alternatives? A childminder? How many days is he going to nursery?

Look on the student website for a mature students' group or network, and if there isn't one, start one. Maybe a purely social group that just meets for lunch on campus. Alternatively look for an English or History group that meets to discuss a topic over lunch - maybe someone gives a 5 minute 'my favourite historical fact and why' talk, or a book club, or get speakers in. Something to expand what you're getting out of this course a bit.

I would say keep going. You're only a term into it. The first year is always bumpy.

I'm going to be abit harsh here but you don't sound remotely committed. You quit open university, you then choose a university that's an hr away with trains when you have a young family and parnter. I think you need to reconsider if this path is the way forward. You putting your family in unnecessary debt.

£60k is an astronomical amount to be as miserable as you are now. Can you transfer to the uni closer to your home and see if that is a better fit? If you are anywhere near London Birkbeck is mostly mature students and an excellent place to study. I agree with previous posters, have you ever actually worked/volunteered in a school? I would have thought that would be essential to see if teaching is for you before you get yourself in £60k debt.

How much of this is down to your essay being marked down?
I have never heard of drafts.of any summative assessments being marked! It sounds like cheating, you just keep on resubmitting til you get a first!
I think you need to meet and find out in more detail where you went wrong and take the criticism on board, not quit at the first hurdle!

There must be other people that you can meet at uni, join some clubs ?

There must be other people that you can meet, older, foreign students etc

I assume you have paid to do your degree

So you need to obtain your qualification, you need to get your moneys worth !

Don't give up !