Question for those born in December & January!

[IVF20233]

Do you like your birthday being in December or January (and around Christmas time)?

We are at the beginning stages of going through fertility treatment. I’m not sure if i’m over thinking things but i’ve been wondering whether it would be best to continue as planned or avoid TTC during the two months which will most likely mean I give birth during December/January.

i’m not even sure it’s ethically or morally ok to avoid certain months! Please let me know your thoughts

My birthday is late January, can't say I've ever been bothered by it. I wouldn't delay ttc for that reason. I'd say dc being the youngest in the school year is a far bigger deal.

If you are at the stage of getting IVF then I find this question pretty hard to believe! Surely the main thing is getting a healthy baby?

January birthday here and don’t mind at all! My DS also Jan. as he gets older he can ask for Xmas money, save it, top it up with birthday money and get something he really wants that would otherwise be too expensive. Usually price reduced due to sales!

My youngest is mid January and his brother is July. It's a bit mixed. The older one often had people away on summer holidays for parties etc The younger one has definitely been much more overlooked on his birthday by family members who ought to have made more effort! People are a bit crap about bothering so soon after Christmas.

This l. I can’t believe this is a question. You’d hold off a few months (when one could be the successful month) due to a certain birthday.

I didn’t do IVF and this was never a consideration.

As someone born in December, that couldn't have children, I couldn't agree with you more.

Good luck @IVF20233 I hope all goes well for you. Please do not add worries about the month of birth to your life.

My sons birthday is boxing day,it's not a great day to have a birthday ,.But if you are struggling to conceive ,it's a very minor thing in the great scheme of things .

My son has a December birthday. His feedback would be that it's ok, however he gets upset if people

A) Forget his birthday (too much going on!!)
B) hold on to his present until Christmas (all in one go then!)
C) wrap presents in Christmas paper
D) do a joint birthday/Christmas present - this one isn't so bad if it's for something expensive that DS has asked for/would love, however the few times someone's done that, it was because they couldn't be bothered to do two.

Yes, he sounds a bit entitled, but a birthday any other time of the year wouldn't be treated like that.

From our side - we don't put up Christmas decs until his birthday has passed (second week of dec so not too bad) and when young we used to have to do "save the date" style birthday invites, to hopefully avoid all of his friends being at the panto

dd is the week before xmas and loves it. She quite likes waiting all year and getting both in a week plus she has plenty of cash for the sales. Like pp she does get a bit narked at people not getting her a card or gift as she’ll be getting one a week later as they wouldn’t expect their child to be told that. And some of her peers get the hump that she gets presents before xmas and don’t think that’s fair for some reason 😁

Really doesn't bother me. My birthday is a week before Christmas and has always had an extra magic I guess to it because of that. I think my poor husband may disagree though as means birthday and Christmas presents happen all at once! I always have my Christmas tree up for my birthday and can't understand people who insist on not putting it up or taking it down early to avoid having it up for someone's birthday as it just wouldn't be my birthday without a Christmas tree! All I ask is that people don't wrap my birthday present in Christmas wrapping paper!
I guess as a birthday is always the same time every year
you never know any different of not having it at another time of year.

My DC are August and January. And neither are as bad as I worried about. And never a joint present!

This year DD2 (January birthday) is having three birthday (inexpensive) things, so her birthday is spread over three weekends. She is loving it!

Thanks everyone for your POV - it’s nice to have some insight from others even if opinions are mixed. Good points about summer born babies and school too!

@TheOpeningActofSpring we’re in a similar situation. I suppose it’s easy to overlook things like this when we are so focused on conceiving and coming out the other side! Obviously i’d be happy to celebrate the life of my child on any day of the year but from the child’s POV, I imagine they’d see it differently.

@decaffe @Delatron We thankfully don’t have any known fertility issues (just lack of sperm as we’re a same-sex couple) and age is ‘on our side’. Of course a healthy baby is the most important. Not everyone’s reasons for IVF are comparable. I asked the question because, for us, it’s important to know how our future child may feel having a birthday over Christmas - it’s not something i would choose for myself, which is why i’m asking those who have experienced it.

It’s really reassuring to read so many positive responses though - thanks everybody 😊

Pre-kids, when I used to invite friends out to the pub for my birthday I used to think early-mid Jan was a great time for it as everyone was usually available. Admittedly, that was before bastard Dry January became so popular!

Mine is towards the end of Jan and I am pretty happy with it there.

I quite like having 'another shot' at the pressies so soon after the last one. It allows me to drop enough hints to fill in any Christmas gaps

I always book a few days off work and it gives me something to look forward to when I go back to work after Christmas.

It's a bit rubbish for birthday bbqs but tbh, I am not sure I'd want one of those anyway!

My eldest surprise baby was due 23rd Dec but came early on the 6th Dec, they don’t much like it. 2nd planned baby ( I was lucky enough to conceive easily) was planned for July/ August/ September perfect for Scotland education system they were born in August. Worst timing up here in Scotland is January/ February either the very youngest in the class or the oldest and it’s pretty cold as well for a newborn.

Even without any fertility issues it’s not something I’d even consider. Because that one month you miss could have been the month you conceived then you might be waiting again for months or years.

Anyway. Good luck!

I'm early/mid December, I don't like it. Can't book a table anywhere, everyone has plans set in stone months in advance, very hard to have a party.
DH is Christmas Eve - was apparently good as a teen but not now.
DM is 27th often ends up with unwanted Xmas presents as gifts (so very random choices)

I actually did avoid march for TTC! Mainly as December is enough of an organisational nightmare as it is. Don't think I would if I was having fertility treatment though.

My birthday's next week. I really loved having a January birthday when I was at school, partly because it was always during term time (and my mock exams were always in December when they came around, luckily) but also because it made me relatively old in the school year, which was particularly gratifying as I got into my late teens. It was absolutely fine at uni, too - as others have said, it really brightens up this most miserable of months. Since uni, though, I've not been such a fan. When I was in my 20s, everyone was always skint (certainly too skint to come and visit me in Spain, where I lived from 23-28) then as we got into our 30s, people started doing dry January, so wouldn't come out, and these days it just pisses me off because it's always so bloody cold/ miserable! E.g. on my first birthday after buying my flat in south London (31, iirc) I wanted to do a pub crawl round my locals, and hardly anyone could come because basically all transport was stopped due to snow. And my 40th a couple of years ago was at a bar that was a little small inside but had an amazing terrace with outdoor heaters but it was so bloody cold they didn't help enough (and I'd checked it one December evening and it had been fine). But it is still nice having something to look forward to in January, so I'm 50/50 about it, I guess!

Late December baby here. Absolutely hate it. Never had seperate presents, no parties or family get togethers, even my birthday cake was half the Christmas with a happy birthday sign in it so never had a sponge birthday cake. For two years i had a split birthday like the Queen but every friend and their parents bitched about how it wasn't my birthday in June so no presents, even though we got them presents for theirs. I was 7 and 8ys old and wanted a friend party. My mother never bothered doing it again.

Later on everyone forgets to wish happy birthday or give cards as they are only thinking of Christmas and the expense of that. Its horrible, to the point I don't like Christmas either (but do enjoy the pretty lights on houses and trees).

I hate my January birthday, it's just gone. But I planned my DC1 so he was an older one in the school year and was born December. DC2 was planned for the spring and born in May. I just didn't want June, July or August birthdays as they tend (not always) to struggle more in school and would be the 'last' to do anything and so I tttc accordingly and was extremely lucky.
That's more important IMO.

I don't have a birthday then, but as someone who has been through infertility I echo the posters saying don't waste months. There are pros and cons to all birthdays, if you were trying to aim for the "perfect" month you'd probably have about 3 possible months to try in! I have two children both born in August which meant two Christmases marred by peak morning sickness/tiredness/non drinking, and awful heat in the last most uncomfortable stage. Plus obviously both the youngest in the school year (though not relevant to us ATM as not in UK) and everyone will be on holiday when it's their birthday party - DS1 had a friend whose birthday was in August and we only ever made it to one of the 5/6 parties we were invited to!

If you get pregnant in Feb/March and feel anxious about it, start a thread about the lovely things about having a Christmas baby and I bet people will cheer you up with happy positive stories.

Ha! I remember when DS was little he used to get the present that all his mates were desperate for, earlier than them. That was a bonus of a December birthday

He did have one friend though whose mum wouldn't allow her son into our house between birthday and Christmas so as to avoid spoiling the excitement of his Christmas presents..

Mine's in the ' dead zone ' between Christmas and New year . I'm always off ( as I work in a school ) but I'd agree with pp , most people are either away or skint to meet up .

My birthday is Christmas Day I'd say that it is probably the worst day to have a birthday tbh. As a child it falls slap bang in the middle of the school holidays, no party on the day and everyone is busy with family just before and just after. As a young adult no pubs or clubs and as a parent it's no sort of rest day either besides nowhere being open.

Mine is December 25th. It's horrible especially as a child. You don't feel like you have a "special" day that's just yours. It's the worst day to have a birthday.