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Original poster

Opinions Please - 8 and 12 year old left alone for 30/45 minutes

57 replies

popcornfrenzy · 10/01/2023 04:39

Am a single parent who's looking to go to the gym in the mornings. You can see the gym from the house so would be 5 minutes away from them.

They're quite sensible and are able to get themselves dressed/get cereal for breakfast.

Looking for opinions as found conflicting information online. Thank you

OP posts:
StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 10/01/2023 04:42

I would not do that.

A one off urgent situation maybe, depending on the kids. Definitely not regularly and not fit something that's unnecessary - exercise can be done either at home or with the kids.

picklesandtea · 10/01/2023 04:57

I leave my 9 and 12 year old regularly, albeit I don't live in the U.K. It is normal and encouraged where I live. 6 year olds take themselves to school. My one rule is that they aren't allowed to eat when I'm not here as I am paranoid about choking!!! Be warned though most people on here will say no. Have a chat with the kids about it, see what their thoughts are, that may be more important than what the hand wringers on here say

theculture · 10/01/2023 05:00

Agree with the PP

As long as they don't fight and you leave clear instructions

  • if you fight go into your own room/separate space
  • don't use chairs to reach high cupboards
  • if the doorbell rings . . .
. . . .
  • if you are not sure call me
Etc etc

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Original poster
popcornfrenzy · 10/01/2023 05:01

picklesandtea · 10/01/2023 04:57

I leave my 9 and 12 year old regularly, albeit I don't live in the U.K. It is normal and encouraged where I live. 6 year olds take themselves to school. My one rule is that they aren't allowed to eat when I'm not here as I am paranoid about choking!!! Be warned though most people on here will say no. Have a chat with the kids about it, see what their thoughts are, that may be more important than what the hand wringers on here say

Thank you for your opinion - I've spoken to the kids and they're happy as they get to put the tv in and get dressed whilst watching it Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
popcornfrenzy · 10/01/2023 05:01

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 10/01/2023 04:42

I would not do that.

A one off urgent situation maybe, depending on the kids. Definitely not regularly and not fit something that's unnecessary - exercise can be done either at home or with the kids.

Thank you for your opinion

OP posts:
Original poster
popcornfrenzy · 10/01/2023 05:03

theculture · 10/01/2023 05:00

Agree with the PP

As long as they don't fight and you leave clear instructions

  • if you fight go into your own room/separate space
  • don't use chairs to reach high cupboards
  • if the doorbell rings . . .
. . . .
  • if you are not sure call me
Etc etc

All breakfast stuff will be laid out on the table - I think the most that will happen is a bit of spilt milk and too much sugar on weetabix

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 10/01/2023 05:04

Legally you can do it. Really it depends on the children. Also is it really worth it paying for gym assuming once you allow for getting in and on the equipment you would presumably only have 15-30 min work out?

Neodymium · 10/01/2023 05:20

I leave my kids that age. Actually my son is 11 not yet 12 and I have left him and his sister who is 9. Depends on the kid I think.

you know your own kids if they are sensible.

hmmmintereting · 10/01/2023 05:27

I would, assuming they are sensible and not always at each others throats.

You can listen/talk to them through Alexa or even keep an eye on them if you have the Alexa with a screen.

reluctantbrit · 10/01/2023 06:56

I did but more afternoon/early evening (around 6pm to pick up DH from the station). But DD is sensible, had a phone and knew the neighbours.

I wouldn't do it over a meal or to let them get ready for school on their own but mine is a disaster in the morning and would never be up on time.

ChristmasCakeAndStilton · 10/01/2023 07:08

I would (and did) leave that aged children formerly that long BUT ima bit concerned about the timings. Will they be up before you go? I wouldn't leave them sleeping. I also wouldn't leave them to have breakfast alone.
Would you be back before either left for school?

KangarooKenny · 10/01/2023 07:31

It would be no different if they were coming home to an empty house, grabbing a snack, and waiting for you to come home.

PuttingDownRoots · 10/01/2023 07:35

The reason I don't tend to leave my 9yo with my 11yo is I don't want her to feel responsible for her younger sister.

I have started leaving them for 15 minutes now I feel the 9yo (very nearly 10) is old enough to be left alone for that time.

So I would as long as you think the 8yo could be left alone for that time without their older sibling

RudsyFarmer · 10/01/2023 07:37

No I wouldn’t. It’s not an important enough reason to leave my kids alone.

HowCanIPayItForward · 10/01/2023 07:37

If they're sensible, get on well and are comfortable with it I think it's fine.

Triffid1 · 10/01/2023 07:41

As with others it totallybdepends on children and yours sound fine.

Lots of very nervous parents on here will tell you no but i am a firm.believer in children should be given independence.

Having said that, I came.home from dropping my younger child at school the other day to find pre teen ds had gone back to sleep!!!!

All4Stars · 10/01/2023 07:41

Mine aren't that age yet but I think when they are I would leave them in bed, go to the gym and be back before they wake up. Obviously I would let them know I would be doing that. I think that's safer than leaving them to eat/dress etc alone.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 10/01/2023 07:45

We've been leaving our now 10y old to take the dog for walks or run to the shop down the road for a while now. Sometimes he comes with us and sometimes he stays home.

When he starts high school he will be letting himself in the house after school and be alone for an hour til I get home so we started leaving him for short times when he was happy with it so I wasn't just springing it in him in September when he starts school.

DeathMetalMum · 10/01/2023 07:55

I probably wouldn't trust mine to get ready on time for school etc. Also depends on the 8 year old. Dd's are 9&11 (nearly 10&12) and they are left for an hour max since the summer - but just watching TV no 'schedule'. I wouldn't have left dd2 any younger. Dd1 may have been OK at 8.

rainbowandglitter · 10/01/2023 07:56

You won't have very long in the gym at all? Would it be worth it? I wouldn't leave them.

itsgettingweird · 10/01/2023 08:00

At that age I picked up and looked after my sister everyday after school for a while - she was 9.

I'd cook us burgers etc from about 13 when we both went to secondary and by then we'd also have my 7yo bigger home with us for the hour too.

Totally agree depends on the children.

However if my parents went out at night my man came around until my brother was older.

PollyPrissypants · 10/01/2023 08:02

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Greatly · 10/01/2023 08:05

I used to leave mine for that long while I went for a run. I did suggest they came with me but funnily enough preferred tv!

Morph22010 · 10/01/2023 08:09

very much depends on the children, I’d have been ok at that age my Ds currently 12 definitely not at 8 but I can see how others might be ok. Mine has asd and is at specialist school so different situation to yours but age 12 I’ve just started leaving him for short period while I don’t go far so I can build up, he doesn’t go out by himself yet. I’ve started to this otherwise suddenly he’ll be 18 and never been left at all

junebirthdaygirl · 10/01/2023 08:27

Could you go across to the gym in the evenings when they are chilling out rather than in the mornings. I think an 8 year old is a bit young not to have his mum around in the morning before he heads off to a long day at school. It's nice to have breakfast together. Leaving them in the evening would be no bother as your 15 year old could easily be a babysitter for another family. They would have no responsibility such as making sure they are ready for school. At weekends you could pop across for a longer session too.

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