I’m 41 today, can anyone pep talk me for 5 mins?

[wobblymum1]

That’s it really.
marriage is ending bitterly, ds (9) waiting final assessment for austism, tics and anxiety and spends 90% of time alone in room gaming and meltdowns to get him out are horrendous, my dd has sweetly made me a card and we’ll go for a dog walk but that’s it really for today. Normally we’d go for a family meal but Dh won’t talk to me and won’t come so would just be me and kids and I can’t afford it on my own, and anyway to get my son out his room would involve a 2 hour battle I can’t face today.
Just need a few “pull yourself together” comments today as quite frankly would like to hide under the covers and not appear again for a while. Thank you (all)

Happy Birthday! You have beautiful children and a lovely dog. You are loved. You have courage to make a massive change in your life. May this year bring you all the happiness you deserve. 🌹

Thank you so so much. Out for a walk in cold sunshine feeling glad for my little girl.

Happy birthday! Enjoy your walk with your lovely daughter. My son is also waiting his final paediatric assessment for autism (week on Tuesday, actually) so I sympathise- it's tough, but hopefully it will be easier to get the help you need. Not sure virtual cake will do the job, but here you are anyway, just in case. Here's to a better 2023, and if you feel up to it, please come back next year to tell us how far you've gone.

Things sound really hard right now but they will get better . Tell yourself you've hit a bump in the road and you have a lot to look forward to .

Please reach out to your friends too - let them know you're missing them - I'm sure they would love to say hello - I have friends with SEN children and it's complicated but it's so lovely to hear from them when they can x
Have a lovely day happy birthday

Just think - this time next year will be so much better. Nowhere lonelier than trapped in an unhappy marriage. You make a good evening for yourself OP, happy birthday

Happy birthday! You’re in the middle of a storm right now, but when the waters calm down you’ll look around and see a much better place. Wishing you all the strength you need.

Happy birthday op 💐🎂

Happy birthday @Wobbly 🥳🍰🍹
I'm sorry things are hard right now. Can you ask the kids to say what their favourite party foods are & nip to the shops for a party tea? Include cake too.
Give yourself 30 minutes tonight to look back over the year & actually recognise how far you've come. Your son's assessment is a huge achievement & it will help you in the future too. Then look forward & plan at least 5 really nice things to do this year.

Pull yourself together is honestly the last thing I’d ever say to you. Your situation sounds totally rubbish at the moment.

Sending a happy birthday and fingers crossed that things start looking up for your family soon. If I were you, I’d be hiding in bed with a flask of wine!! Hope you enjoyed your walk x

Thank you all so much. I hope this year is better. A few times this one I’ve
felt I can’t carry on. I have fought so long in this marriage and got my hopes dashed so many times and felt lonely each time I realise it still isn’t working. To the person who said how lonely a sad marriage is that is so true. I hope I find the strength to keep going for this new year for the kids and that my son can find some peace from him sadness and struggles too. Thank you all.

I’ll go ask them this right now and pop to shops. I want to hide in bed but I know I’ll feel better If I’ve made an effort for them.

Happy Birthday! Regarding your son have you looked on the ‘SEN local offer’ website for your local council? There should be some support you can access even without diagnosis if you are on the ‘pathway’. Your school SENDco should be able to direct you if you’re not sure.

On a less practical level- a cheesy film and snacks is in order.

Happy Birthday, hope you enjoy the rest if your evening with your children!

Stay strong, you got this x

I didn’t know this, I’ll check that out as any support with him would be very welcome.

Hello!

I don't want to tell yourself to pull yourself together (because sometimes that's not what we need to hear! & it's not always doable!)
but what I do want to tell you is that your feelings are 1000% valid, you're allowed to feel this way & I'm sending you hugs

I understand the birthday things completely, I've always made a fuss for my friends birthdays, even if it's just a cute message etc, but my birthday just gone I didn't hear a peep from them! I felt pathetic at first for letting it get to me, but it's not a nice feeling and it's fully understandable why it did get to me! So ... happy birthday from me!!

You're allowed to have crappy days, as many as you need in fact! (I always tell myself this lol) - but remind yourself of how resilient you've been so far and know that you can keep going 🥰

And also - sometimes it's good just to have a right good whinge!

A problem shared is a problem halved x

Happy Birthday OP 🎂

No pep talk from me either. Just wanted to say that I hope your day got better x

Happy Birthday

Sounds like life's tough atm.

Do some acts of kindness for yourself and don't feel guilty.

Thank you so so much for understanding xx

Can I recommend some nice sniffs. I put a lavender gel on my wrists and when feeling wobbly, have a sniff and it can be very calming. My ASD son has driven over for supper which is nice. Life seemed so so tough ten, fifteen years ago. He is now working, driving and seems contented. School was tricky but there is light at the end of this tunnel. Happy Birthday. You are doing brilliantly.

How lovely, I hope one day it all gets easier for him and he can drive over for a nice meal, I hope you have a great meal together.

Morning @wobblymum1 , how did yesterday go? I hope you managed to have a few peaceful moments at least.

I forgot to ask, but do you have any "formal" support for what you're going through? Do you speak to anyone (counsellor)? You would probably benefit from this as you are spinning lots of plates atm. Your feelings are also totally valid, and with regard to your marriage, it is like grieving so do go easy on yourself. I hope you're ok & today is brighter.

Thank you for being so kind. No, I’m on the waiting list for 6 counselling sessions through my Gp but still about 4 months to wait for that. I can’t afford to pay for it privately. You’re right, I’m grieving and also for my kids who of course just want us all to be happy together and we aren’t. It’s very hard and I often feel I’m spinning too much and dropping everything and it’s just rubbish all round. Thank you for being so kind.

Happy Birthday 🤗

You don't need to pull yourself together, we're here, chatting with you a bit xx

Anything good on telly? Gosh, I saw The Circle SE1 on E4 and wanted nothing more than to be able to watch it all over again. Did you see it perchance? Good stuff