What was your life like this time three years ago?

[PrunellaDeVil]

Name changed for this but I’ve been here a long time.

I was getting ready to take the kids back to school this morning and it made me think about how different our lives were before the pandemic.

Then: kids were in wraparound care daily, DH and I drove or took the train to the office early every day, regularly travelled at weekends to see friends who lived an hour or so away, and took holidays abroad. You’d go into work with a cough or cold without thinking. Socialising after work was a regular thing…I miss nights out in London but not the childcare nightmare it caused.

Now: we both work from home most of the time, we walk the kids to school in the mornings. We spend a lot more time with friends who are local. The kids much prefer being at home when they can. Foreign holidays are rarer due to the hassle/cost/availability. People seem much more cautious to stay at home when ill, and our elderly relatives are still very worried about socialising with anyone who is around germs or young children (pretty much the same thing). We have friends who lost loved ones and aren’t over the trauma three years on.

How have your lives changed since pandemic?

Life pretty much not changed at all. Husband has retired, but that was always planned to be at a specific age, and so absolutely nothing to do with the pandemic.

Who called you haggard? I'll have a word 🤜

Exactly 3 years ago I had a 4 day old baby, blissfully unaware my maternity leave was a few months away from being totally changed and basically ruined, no
Baby groups, no coffee mornings! Worried I would be arrested if I took the baby out for more than 1 30 mins walk a day!! Madness!
I was also on statutory mat pay my colleagues all furloughed on 90% wages! 🤷‍♀️

unfortunately Covid triggered a serious autoimmune disease in me and my life now is extremely different to the way it was 3 years ago as I’m very unwell.

My husband was never home
he used to come home at 8pm and heave at 7am - he now never leaves the house and life is so much better. He is very much an equal Lerner is all things domestic and child related. I don’t feel taken for granted any more.

however it did a number on both my parents, my lovely mum has just died and I can’t help wonder if her health issues would have been somewhat mitigated by easier access to GPs

my dad developed dementia through lockdown which he drank his way though - but I don’t really care about him 😂

We had just moved countries, and our eight year old was about to start school in a new language. We were renting a house from some friends of friends, and had had an offer accepted on a house, but had only a few suitcases of stuff because I was planning to return to our UK house, supervise the packing and removal and have all our furniture and belongings delivered straight to our house once we’d finalised the sale.

Within eight weeks, the first lockdown had begun, DS’s school and DH’s office had shut (as had most of his industry), our house purchase fell through, we had to leave our rental as the owners returned, and live in an Airbnb in the country, out of the three suitcases, with all our belongings stranded in England, homeschooling DS while both working remotely. It was a bit much, actually.

I was talking to someone at work about this today..

This time 3 years ago, I felt really positive about work, was 4 months into a new job and felt I was ready to make changes and improvement. Instead, I spent the year permanently anxious about my team catching Covid and lack of PPE for the first few months (community nhs workers were low priority for ppe) - haggard is absolutely how I'd describe myself now, pretty sure NHS staff (and everyone else) has aged far more than the 3 years that have just passed us by. I'm not sure how much my teams really understand how much I worried about them all during that time. I didn't share it, because we needed to see patients and I didn't want them to worry even more we didn't pause any services.

I was also trying to persuade DH that we should book a sunny summer holiday for 2020 while there were deals on - he resisted because there were rumblings on the news about a new virus, and I think a few weeks later there was the news about a cruise ship / people being ill, so we didn't book anything (he was right after all).

Now, wfh some of the week depending on meetings, DH almost completely WFH. DC activities and school are pretty much back to normal, but they are much more technological than they were 3 years ago (use apps for communications and homework, no letters to get lost in school bags).

But I keep saying to myself and anyone who'll listen - this year will be better (trying to convince myself!)

January 2020 I was doing a job I really enjoyed, going to work each day and seeing colleagues and regular customers. We were starting to hear trickles of things about a virus but thought it would blow over. DD was in high school and struggling and Ds was only 2.
The lockdown had both good and bad effects on our family. DP works in the building trade so worked throughout. DD thrived with online learning and not having the anxiety that the school environment brought her. I was furloughed and made the most of every minute I could spend with my children which with work and childcare we normally didn't get enough of.
Unfortunately working in travel meant we were completely grounded, the company had to cut costs and my shop like many others didn't reopen, I'm lucky that I still have a job with the same company but I'm now in a different role working from home. Wfh has it's pros but I hate it and miss my old job terribly, daft things like seeing the same faces in Greggs when I nipped in for my cuppa before work.
DD has finally finished high school after an awful time but her mental health is in pieces.Ds is now in reception and although awaiting assessment for asd is the happiest kid you'll meet. And now we have a 9 month old DS too. I would put us in the category of "some of the lucky ones" and I'm very grateful for that.

It was DCs 12th birthday and he was having some mates round after school. My parents came up to see him and I remember my dad moaning that he wasn't home yet and getting quite impatient. I worked full time in the centre of town and every morning on the school run was a rush to drop him off and drive to the park and ride before I missed the bus. I used a tracking app in the afternoons to make sure DC was home from school safely as I wouldn't be home.

My dad died in September that year, not from Covid but I think the impact of being told he couldn't drive anymore because his health had deteriorated and then not being able to go out anywhere because he was CEV made his already poor health much worse. I really believe that it wasn't his time and he's left a huge gap in the family, a heartbroken wife and heartbroken children and grandchildren. I now work in the office a few days a week and wfh the rest of the time. I moved house, further away from school so now drop DC off and pick him up. I speak to my mum on the phone every day and take her shopping, which is something she used to do with my dad.

The pandemic gave me a better work life balance and loads of quality time with DC, but it perhaps indirectly took away my dad.

In January 2020 me and DH were about to move into our house after spending months renovating it.

We were both working in the office 5 days a week and commuting one hour each way. I was in a dead-end job that I hated.

Now we’ve lived in our home for three years, we’ve both changed jobs a couple of times, are earning a lot more, and both WFH full time. Being fully remote allowed us to get a dog too!

No real change for us, we are both still in the same jobs, worked onsite throughout covid and have continued to do so (our jobs are not suitable for WFH and neither of us has ever had any desire to do so). DCs have grown up, one's gone to uni one to college but that would have happened anyway. All our holidays, hobbies and socialising are back as they were.

Lovely life before, enough money, 1 teen at drama school, 1 teen in year 10 doing well - ish. Covid meant that I lost my new business and dh was asked not to furlough but to take a 50% pay cut. Our money was therefore cut by 75% for over a year. We had paid for drama school upfront and it was closed in February, we never received a refund for the remaining months. Teen in yr 10 didn’t respond to working from home and didn’t do great in his GCSE’s, went to college, but the course was cancelled after 6 months because none of the students were coping with it. I now have a 22 and 18 yr old living at home, working but feeling their aspirations have been squished. They can’t earn enough to leave home. We are still in debt and the cost of living crisis is about to bite as our mortgage will go up in March. I have chronic medical conditions that have got significantly worse because I can’t get referral to a consultant. I can hardly walk with arthritis but my gps say there are no referrals and advise me to go private. I have a heart condition and was advised I would have an urgent procedure 2 years ago. I was being reviewed every 3 months. I have not heard anything from them for 2 years and nobody in the dept answers the phone. Gp said everything is on hold. Oh and another surgery I need, which is non vital, I was just offered my choice of hospital, 2 choices both over a 2.5 hr drive away. Waiting list for both - nearly 2 years.

In the best place I'd been in a long time. Just come out of a lot of therapy for ptsd and was full of positives for the future. We had lots of plans, holidays, an extension and I was going to do a social work post grad when dc2 started her preschool year.

I had a massive breakdown during covid which basically killed off my work plans because I'm not as recovered as I thought. I hated how my life shrank down to nothingness because I'd fought so hard to get where I was in Jan 2020. Plus masks and being trapped inside were both triggers for my pstd. I'm now suidical again with the constant voices in my head reminding me how worthless I am. I'm trying for my children but I wish it would end. I have no hope for the future anymore.

My husband was trying to boomerang back to an old flame and I was paying to keep us afloat while he set up his own business.

Not long moved back to the UK. Elder DD extremely unhappy at school, lots of tears and refusing to go (she was 8 then). Knock on effect of not being allocated a school place for 2 months, she was scared her place would be removed. Was not getting any real help for her dyslexia as she could just about keep up. Younger DD was loving her new school though. DH bored by his job.

Lockdown... removing the anxiety of school was just what DD1 needed. Being able to work at her own pace, calm environment etc. DD2 missed her friends. DHs job got a lot more interesting (behind the scenes Covid work)

Mafe the decision that the mobile Army life wasn't good for DD1... so we bought our own house and moved in nearly 2 years ago. Definitely the right decision for DD1. Unfortunately DD2... she had an odd reaction to the whole situation over the last few years. She sees friends as a nice thing to have, but not an essential to rely on as you never know when they will disappear. Still sociable but keeps everyone except family at arms length. Hopefully she will regain that trust in friendship at some point.

We were just back from Christmas away because it seemed so wrong to celebrate at home without DH. I'd wanted to make up for all the time we'd been shut in while I was caring for him. I wanted to show the kids the world. Instead we had to stay at home for a further 2 years and it felt like a prison sentence. We've just now come back from finally going away for Christmas again and I'm almost daring to hope that life can restart.

Covid, although I didn’t know it was called that then had been on my radar since December 2019 (and I’ve talked to others who say the same). I decided after Christmas to organise our freezers, purchased things like milk powder, loo rolls and made us self sufficient for minimum of six weeks. I even learnt how to freeze eggs. I told no one what I was doing and got some odd looks from DH. I said, If this thing happens you’ll be grateful I’m doing this and if it doesn’t I don’t need to shop for months.

I had been scared by watching a program called Survivors many years ago and always wondered WTAF we’d do IF something like that happened. And it basically did.

DH was extremely vulnerable so we went into lockdown a month before the official one and have hardly come out of it since February 2020.

every time we’ve tried to be out and about we’ve ended up with awful colds lasting months and eventually Covid. My life sucks, I hate it, I want my life pre December 2019 back!

Great thread.

3 years ago I was about to complete on my first home and working all hours for a complete bully.

Luckily had just completed and renovated by March when it all really hit. Bully boss tried to make us all work full time while he claimed furlough, I stood up to him and he sacked me.

DD was just 13 and lockdown hit her hard. I didn't realise at the time - I think I was just relieved that she was getting online school. Her MH went rapidly downhill followed by a major operation needed. She's just about coming out of it but her friendships and her social ability has never recovered.

I got a new job pretty quickly, worked from home for a year. Work for a lovely boss and earn more.

In some ways I look back on the first lockdown with some fondness.

I was working in the city centre office, trying to work out what the devil we would do when ds1 started school in sept 2015 as before and after school clubs would almost make it not worth me working. The pandemic made the decisions for us and I mostly work from home, don't generally need wrap around care, and earning slightly more following a lockdown promotion.

The lockdowns saved us a ton of money in nursery fees and commuting costs, which helped us claw our way out of debt. Mustn't ever forget this, even when we look at the social / psychological impact of lockdowns on our dc and us. On another note, around this time 3 years ago I was about to experience a bad bout of mastitis which I thankfully got sorted just before it all went to shit. Also was about to go on a very long waitlist for an operation. My dsis and uncle were both still alive. I was so much younger in many ways.

Sept 2020, not 2015. Wtf was I thinking!

Worked in the office 4 days a week, at home on Friday's. Any other way of working was inconceivable.

Nothings changed for us day to day. We have moved house and I’m now pregnant; this time 3 years ago, I had a 6 month old who is now in preschool and I’ve just done his school application.

As for day to day life; still socialise regularly, eat out at least once a week, go on foreign holidays and city breaks regularly, DC do several activities out of school.

To be honest, it wasn’t even that different for us in 2020; DH worked through the lockdowns and we went abroad twice in August 2020.

I was preparing to go on holiday and hoping to get engaged. I’m now married, living in the country we got engaged in and about to give birth to our first child.

Feel very lucky!

January 2020 i was still sex dating, 'ordering men like pizza' as a friend's husband disapprovingly described it. Some were one offs and some more regular. I was trying to get one particular regular man to make a date and he was busy for a few weeks so I entertained myself elsewhere with Karl and Dave and Julie and Becca and Ben and London Tim and Other Dave...

I never met the regular man again, though I still think about him, and lockdown meant I had to stop the pizza ordering and go cold turkey. Also I was working in my hospital job so was lucky to still go to work, and had Covid twice which I do think aged me, along with losing he exercise habit in lockdown 2.

Now I'm in a relationship and on the straight and narrow.

Jan 2020: I'd just quit my job due to burnout and I was in a long-term relationship that I knew was coming to an end. We were living together in his hometown and I felt lonely, exhausted, bereft from losing my mum in a horrific way a few months earlier, was completely lost in life and weighed 15st. I didn't enjoy anything and had no real reason to get up in the morning.

Jan 2023: I love my job now, I live alone in a flat that I adore, I'm single and in a much better place mentally. I'm 3st lighter having taken up running in lockdown and have made some amazing friends I know I can always turn to. I've found new hobbies and a hell of a lot of self-esteem. Life isn't all roses but 2020 me would be amazed to see the life I have made for myself.