Could I be autistic too?

[patricksway]

My son was diagnosed with asd 4 years ago and since doing lots of research I feel like this could explain some things about myself.

Some example are -

Feel like the odd one out of a group - when I talk or when I leave somewhere I feel like people are judging me.

Don’t like going out to meet friends, I always make excuses even though if I went I’d probably enjoy myself

Half the time I don’t answer the phone if someone calls apart from husband and my mom (even when my mom calls though sometimes I find it awkward and feel like I get easily frustrated like I’m embarrassed almost? even though she isn’t doing anything wrong)

Lots of anxiety and ocd

If I see someone I know on the school run I will walk to other way to avoid having to talk to them

Practice conversations (always done this )

Feel like I have to maintain eye contact when talking to someone but also find this really awkward

Get very easily upset and am very sensitive

If myself and husband have an argument it is literally all that’s on my mind until it’s resolved

Dislike Loud tv it really gets on my nerves especially at night

low self esteem don’t think much of myself (again feeling like the odd one in a group)

Love reading and researching things

Listen to the same music over and over, I don’t like finding new music

Anything important document wise I go over and over again, constantly checking and rechecking it’s deck short correct - it’s tiring

These are just things I can think of atm I’m sure I’ve missed things aswell but they’re the main points

On the other hand I’ve been told I don’t come across like I’m struggling socially and I do appear quite bubbly and outgoing, and can be quite witty. So this makes me unsure.
I’ve just always had this anxiety about myself around others and never been able to explain it properly, it’s a hard feeling to describe other than saying I feel awkward 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this sound like autism to anyone who is actually autistic or has lots of experience with people on the spectrum?

I don’t really know what I’m looking for, maybe just an answer to why I feel the way I do and why I struggle so much socially

I should mention my sister has autism and learning difficulties and also my nephew has adhd too, it's it's relevant

Probably.

I went for ASD assessment and was a little surprised to have it diagnosed, in the meantime my youngest was diagnosed with ADHD and that speaks to me absolutely loud and clear.

I never thought her behaviour was unusual because she's just like me...

🙈

It's quite common for women to realise they're autistic when their children are going through the diagnostic process.

You sound like you could be autistic.
Have you looked at resources like books that are relevant to autistic women?
It sounds like you might benefit from learning more about masking to see if it might apply to you.

Yes, you could be. I can relate to every single one of your points (some of them made me smile as they really resonated!) and received an ASD diagnosis in my 40s (also after my own 3 DC were diagnosed as children / teens).

It runs in the family, right? I feel like I definitely fall into the spectrum.

Possibly.
Lots of parents of autistic children are on the spectrum themselves. In our family it's my children's father that is but he's never been diagnosed because it doesn't hinder him in anyway 🤷‍♀️
( he does drive me insane with his
Need for routine though) 🤣

I did wonder if I'm masking, and maybe this is why I go over and over things after social situations ? I've also always kind of copied other people since I was little, copied how they act etc

One if my earliest memories is of being in the playground at school so probably reception age, and Instead of saying hello saying oi to people lol but it was just me wanting to play with them

Would a diagnosis be worth it ? Do the nhs even diagnose adults ??

I've always struggled to hold down a job too, I find it hard to cope and get lots of anxiety

Ah yes, I hate change, really hate it when plans change and i feel the need to be in control, not in a bad way more so I know what's going on

Would a diagnosis be worth it ?

It was life changing for me.

Do the nhs even diagnose adults ??

It depends on where you live. My health board doesn't refer adults, unless you are already in the mental health system and it comes up you have no chance.

You sound like me. Never thought about a diagnosis as I assumed its just my personality.

Are you abrupt as well, to the point that others find you rude, but you are trying to get across important information only and not get sidetracked? Although that could just be me 😂

Obvs can’t diagnose you - but certain traits sound quite similar to one of my teen DC who has an ASD diagnosis. They can be very witty and bubbly - so that doesn’t preclude asd. They also have a great sense of humour and when they were little that was the thing that made me think they couldn’t have asd.

I know a lot of people who have found adult Dx to be v helpful.

Every single member of my family in the last few years who's been tested for autism has tested positive (ages 10 - 70). And they all seem quite normal to me! I'm assuming that basically means the majority of people have some autistic traits to a greater or lesser extent. I don't think there is anything to do though maybe it will help you understand your actions better.

I can relate to a lot of things you do (e.g. not liking loud tv, practicing conversations, very sensitive etc.) but I think most people are like that.

I don't think there is a normal. We're all just different with different issues. Which is fine - I think the issue is that we feel like there is a "normal" that is the ideal we should be striving for.

Yes I do come across quite abrupt but it's only with factual information, and then I think that person thinks I'm a know it all lol

I was born in 89' so it was kind of unheard of back then wasn't it ? So I guess parents back then wouldn't have known these things to look for like we do now too..

My sister was diagnosed with a global development delay but she is 10000% autistic with learning disabilities.

No the majority of people don't have autistic traits

My son was diagnosed 6 years ago (he's 8 now) and I'm convinced I am too.

You sound a lot like me, OP. I haven’t been diagnosed, but have often wondered if I have ASD.

I was diagnosed last year after both my children received their diagnosis. It's absolutely life changingly positive to find out that you're not broken, just wired differently.

And no, everyone isn't autistic although it does run in families so a whole family could be.

I wonder this since my son was diagnosed. I'm 34 and still have the odd screaming crying meltdown, a history of anxiety and my parents took me to the gp for related issues when I was a kid.

This happened to me, when my children were being diagnosed with autism as teenagers, was strongly suggested to me that if I were to seek diagnosis I’d be a shoo in. I haven’t sought diagnosis however as I think there’s no point unless I need to access support, which I don’t.

I was in my 50s at the time and had done a good deal of “normalising” over the years but do remember the very frightening feelings of alienation from society and being unable to socialise. Lots you’ve written was my experience too.

After the initial shock and a lot of reading I’ve been able to just kind of calm down and accept myself for who I am and that I’m an ok person who just has a different (but not freakish) iOS. Occasionally I’ll tell someone I’m autistic but it’s not always necessary because now I’m happy in my own skin I don’t come across nervous and uncomfortable like I used to.

It wasn’t heard of in the 60s and 70s and I remember my mother being told by school that I was obnoxious and oppositional and I’m sure I was! But these days that kind of behaviour is viewed differently thank heavens. Don’t be afraid of it, you’ll be happier all round when you can stop being bewildered by your own self.

I stopped stammering when I levelled out and my stammer was so bad at school that I didn’t bother trying to even speak for a long time and continued into my adult life although not so bad and I don’t miss that. I don’t stammer at all now.

Probably. You sound like me and I'm waiting for an assessment. I see the same in one of my daughters. I'm adopted so no family history to go on.

I aways get coloured red on those stupid personality things at work, I'm so far from red it's laughable but apparently my tone, brusqueness and inability to read the room makes me red.

No, it sounds more like you’re a bit of an introvert with the usual quirks that people have. Nobody is a cardboard cut out after all!

I'm not diagnosed but also think I may have autism/ADHD.

I have always felt something about me is off. I just struggle so much with being human and things that most people seem to find normal. Massively sensitive and been anxious since childhood.

It's actually quite amazing how many of us feel different. I know there is no normal but I just think how can I feel so out of place ? Does everyone feel that way ?
To the outsider I guess I would appear 'neurotypical' whatever that is ! I can hold conversations, I just find them bloody awkward ! I just feel odd, that's the only way I can describe it.
Yeah we all have quirks definitely, but when these quirks are actually affecting your life and self esteem surely that can't be good.

Like, why would I walk the other way when I see someone coming ? How fucking rude I must seem 😆