Could I be autistic too?

[patricksway]

My son was diagnosed with asd 4 years ago and since doing lots of research I feel like this could explain some things about myself.

Some example are -

Feel like the odd one out of a group - when I talk or when I leave somewhere I feel like people are judging me.

Don’t like going out to meet friends, I always make excuses even though if I went I’d probably enjoy myself

Half the time I don’t answer the phone if someone calls apart from husband and my mom (even when my mom calls though sometimes I find it awkward and feel like I get easily frustrated like I’m embarrassed almost? even though she isn’t doing anything wrong)

Lots of anxiety and ocd

If I see someone I know on the school run I will walk to other way to avoid having to talk to them

Practice conversations (always done this )

Feel like I have to maintain eye contact when talking to someone but also find this really awkward

Get very easily upset and am very sensitive

If myself and husband have an argument it is literally all that’s on my mind until it’s resolved

Dislike Loud tv it really gets on my nerves especially at night

low self esteem don’t think much of myself (again feeling like the odd one in a group)

Love reading and researching things

Listen to the same music over and over, I don’t like finding new music

Anything important document wise I go over and over again, constantly checking and rechecking it’s deck short correct - it’s tiring

These are just things I can think of atm I’m sure I’ve missed things aswell but they’re the main points

On the other hand I’ve been told I don’t come across like I’m struggling socially and I do appear quite bubbly and outgoing, and can be quite witty. So this makes me unsure.
I’ve just always had this anxiety about myself around others and never been able to explain it properly, it’s a hard feeling to describe other than saying I feel awkward 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this sound like autism to anyone who is actually autistic or has lots of experience with people on the spectrum?

I don’t really know what I’m looking for, maybe just an answer to why I feel the way I do and why I struggle so much socially

Hi OP, and everyone else on the thread wondering. I'm really sorry for everyone who has experience feeling othered, or different or not right.

Maybe you are OP, maybe. It's no bad thing to be autistic . It's just a different processing system. It has lots of advantages as well as the disadvantages of living in a neurotypical world.

Go ahead and learn about autism and diagnosis. It'll help your child and family. I like TikTok for peoples experiences. I'm officially adhd (and probably autism too) and it's been a revelation. It makes so much sense and it will help me parent my mini me with strategies to avoid "the shame".

All my life I've known other people got stuff I didn't and I got stuff other people didn't. I'm an amazing multitasker, pattern spotter, creative, bright, fun and serous grafter. I have deep and wonderful relationships and work at a senior level. There was a bit when life seriously went tits up but now I understand why - it's the best it's ever been. I just need exercise, dance music, strong coffee and amphetamines to do a 9-5 to a high standard.

For a long time, because I was young, bright enough to find strategies and conventionally attractive enough a lot of my negative qualities/traits didn't register with others. In middle age the patriarchy caught up with me and I did a few hard years of self development. I'm pretty open now and think it's a very positive thing to think differently and challenge these negative stereotypes. If anything, just knowing I'm overstimulated and about to meltdown make life at least 30% easier!

Those of you diagnosed as adults, how did you get the diagnosis and what was involved (what sort of test?), and how long did it take?

I'm pretty sure I have ASD although not sure if a formal diagnosis is worth it or what the benefits would be (I scored high on online test).

@patricksway I would 100% hide/walk away from someone I knew in the street. I've walked past members of my own family because I've been thinking about something else.

The key now is that I own it. Some days I'll push myself to say hello because it's polite and I like people. Some days I'll run in the opposite direction as I haven't got the capacity. And I dont beat myself up about it. And people seem fine with it because I'm authentic.

Sometimes it is the small talk that makes me avoid people. I hate it. It's pointless. I like silence if I don't have anything to say. I love a meaningful conversation or info dump but I don't gossip or bitch and I don't like people who do this. I do like making other people feel good so Im often proactive about little things in conversations - their pets, their clothes (if interesting), their kids. And I'm upfront if I don't have anything to say. I'll say something like, " I've just run out of conversation, I've not been up to much - tell me what's going on with you you're always doing something fun". That's enough to oil the social conventions!

There is a Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board which has helpful threads about different assessment experiences and threads about people pondering whether they want an assessment. Worth a look, for moral support as well. Threads on other boards can tend to eventually (or immediately) attract the usual dismissive "were all on the spectrum! You're just quirky!" responses which aren't helpful. Or accurate.

Do it all the time. Can't do the painful conversation.

Wow everyone of those points is me.... I just thought I was weird 🥲 maybe I need to go away and research and see somebody...

Can you keep us updated if you do see a specialist?