Advice for destination wedding

[feghs324]

Hi all,

Sorry this might be long as I need to get in all the detail!

I rarely post on here and I'm a bit nervous as I know Mumsnet is very anti destination wedding AND anti childfree wedding but I am having one in 2024 and I would really like some helpful advice from people who would be happy to go to a childree destination wedding and which scenario would suit them best.

Just for context I don't have children (my parter has two older children who will be 16 and 18 at time of our wedding and will be attending) and the main reason we are having a childfree wedding is because of budget. Nieces, nephews and newborns are invited. Plenty of my friends have also had DW which I attended.

We have already booked our venue and we chose the first Sunday of a half term for a various reasons. However I have recently been comparing flight times for 2023 for the same dates and half term prices are a lot more expensive (we are talking around £150pp during term time and £420pp during half term). I'm now considering changing the date to a Saturday in term time as I feel terrible that flights could be that much (it's only two hours away).

I knew that they would be more expensive but didn't expect quite a hike, although baring in mind these are 2023 prices so we don't know what 2024 will bring.

So if you were were willing and wanted to travel to the wedding, what would you prefer? I was thinking the cheaper option but my cousin mentioned people might find it harder to get childcare in termtime (they would likely need to travel Fri-Sun/Mon) and also if we did half term then people might like to bring their children and make a holiday of it, getting a babysitter for the wedding day.

However a few others have said it's actually probably easier to get childcare from grandparents etc during termtime as at least the kids will be busy at school and won't need entertaining all day.

Our friends children range from around 3 - 14.

Thank you!!

I think as most have said yes you just leave the date , anyone with kids knows the prices are more in school hold and before accepting surely most looked at current price for those dates before accepting

I thought you said youngest would be 16 so this wouldn't be as levels ? Or did i read jt wrong
That said mine wouldn't of minded a couple of days of revising ,not all kids are 7 hrs a day mumsnet revising kids

Stick to your date but be ready - lots of guests who have said they will come are quite likely to drop out. Be nice about it. 2024 is so far away and so much changes in people’s lives.

I thought you said youngest would be 16 so this wouldn't be as levels It would if they have a summer birthday.

That's why we picked the half term as he can fly out for two days and then get back and he wouldn't be missing any school/exams etc

Do you have kids? Can you imagine a scenario where you go away for a week in the build up to their exams and expect them to get themselves to your wedding and back on a short weekend amidst it?

I think that on balance the half term date will probably suit most.

But a few things spring to mind:
Does the SCs other parent know and are they on board?
Is the SC who will be mid AS aware of the significance of that time of year?
What about accom price rises during that time period?
If you were a very close family member, I'd do whatever I could to make sure I could attend, similarly if you were a close friend and I could make things work childcare wise. However, in both instances I'd privately resent the cost and the assumption I'm happy to use up my AL for a wedding. I know it would be a sort of holiday, but maybe it's not the sort of holiday all your guests would choose. I would make sure you were never aware, I wouldn't want to take any shine of your celebration.

Definitely do it after his exams! Why isn't his Dad saying no to this ridiculous flying him in and out over the weekend?

Definitely during term time. I can’t imagine there would be any difference in availability of childcare. We personally don’t have family help, but no way I’d pay £420pp even just for myself to attend a friend’s wedding.

Child free and abroad. Only one of us would be coming. The other would be doing the childcare. One that basis, term time would probably be better - although any of your friends working in a school might struggle.

Does everyone live near an airport that flies to where you want to go? Italy from here, when I did it for work, involved driving 3 hours to the airport or changing planes and a 1 hour drive to the nearest airport. You would need to be a really good friend.

My friend married in Italy with no children allowed. There were a lot of women there and no men as the dad's had to stay home with the kids. It was term time flights to Rome were about 60 quid and they had a villa with 14 bedrooms that we all shared. They covered all the costs as I believe you should for destination weddings if you want people to be there. I married in Lapland with no guests it was fab

Do it whenever you want. It’s really not going to make much difference. You are already asking people to pay for flights, transfers and accommodation, plus outfits and presents, take annual leave and arrange childcare for a long weekend. When it comes to actual definite acceptances you will be down to about 25% of invitees if you’re lucky - very close family and friends only. I’d do this for my sister and best friend but I wouldn’t do it for anyone else. So the date doesn’t really matter, because only those who are prepared to make those arrangements will actually go through with it.

My DB got married in Italy, all 60 of the people invited accepted. It was term time, I
took my DC out of school for the Friday as the whole family was invited, it was a fabulous weekend.
The bride and groom paid for the Saturday night accommodation and the guests paid for the Friday night.