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Original poster

If you have grown up children who don’t live with you….

40 replies

lking679 · 02/01/2023 14:22

If you have grown up children who don’t live with you… do they live far away and how far?

We grew up in north west and 4 out of 5 of us moved away for work. All over 3 hours drive away, only my brother who didn’t go to university stayed there.
At middle age some of us are making it back due to flexible working….

Do your children live far away? And do you mind?
Similar story with a lot of my friends from the area.

OP posts:
PoinsettiaPosturing · 02/01/2023 15:57

I'm one of 2 siblings, I live 25 minutes from immediate family and 5 minutes from PIL. Sibling lives 8-10 minutes from immediate family, neither of us went to uni which probably has a significant impact

Kim82 · 02/01/2023 15:59

I’m one of four siblings, we all live within a 15 minute car journey of each other.

My eldest is 21 and has moved into a house with his friends, he lives just down the road from us - we could drive there in 3 minutes or walk in 15.

Original poster
lking679 · 02/01/2023 16:00

Where about sun the country are you?

OP posts:

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Families
Original poster
lking679 · 02/01/2023 16:01

Kim82 · 02/01/2023 15:59

I’m one of four siblings, we all live within a 15 minute car journey of each other.

My eldest is 21 and has moved into a house with his friends, he lives just down the road from us - we could drive there in 3 minutes or walk in 15.

Sorry where abouts are you in the country?

OP posts:
CaroleFuckingBaskin · 02/01/2023 16:01

One 25 min
One 40min
One 3 hours

AreOttersJustWetCats · 02/01/2023 16:03

I think it's totally normal not to live near your family these days, isnt it? Someone's choice of career/industry might well dictate where they need to live. (E.g. Investment bankers don't tend to need to live in the same sort of place as marine biologists)

Kim82 · 02/01/2023 16:04

Sorry, we’re in the North West

thecatsthecats · 02/01/2023 16:10

I grew up in the North West, one of four. Two of us live in a city 90m away, two of us 3h away. We're planning to move north, then his parents will be the ones far away.

Most of my friends did move away, and their siblings moved to a different place, also far away.

In my experience, it's city dwellers who tend to end up living nearer to where they grew up.

PaperBagsAreUselessInRain · 02/01/2023 16:12

One lives v near me
One lives the other side of the world

Original poster
lking679 · 02/01/2023 16:21

Would also be interested in where you live. North west and wales notorious for ‘brain drain’ and so ppl in higher education moving away!

OP posts:
Original poster
lking679 · 02/01/2023 16:23

Also if far away are you upset about it?

OP posts:
AuntieMarys · 02/01/2023 16:25

Mine live 300 miles away. See them every 6 weeks or so.

Idontmeanto · 02/01/2023 16:29

Two of mine have flown the nest, one 3hours away and one six. I’m glad they have made good lives for themselves and done what they needed to, but I am anxious about what it will mean for my relationship with my grandchildren when they come along. I speak to both my daughters about twice a week on the phone and they make visits home at least three times a year.

RelativePitch · 02/01/2023 16:31

I live within 10 minutes of both my parents and 20 minutes from MIL. Went to uni 3 hours away, lived abroad and different cities in the UK before settling back at 30. Been wonderful having my DM so close and helping with DCs. In turn, I hope I can care for her in her old age should she need it. My DB left the UK at 21 and has lived on different continents and always will in his line of work.

bloodywhitecat · 02/01/2023 16:33

DD lives just over an hour away, DS is almost 4 hours depending on traffic.

frylite · 02/01/2023 16:36

I live an hour away

Sibling lives on a different continent.

North.

Both have degrees

Onnabugeisha · 02/01/2023 16:36

3 adult DC living away. Closest is six hour drive & in U.K.. Other two are on mainland Europe, one in the Netherlands and one in southern France.

Have four siblings living. 3 in USA (west coast) and 1 in southern China.

User1785498 · 02/01/2023 16:39

DS is about 2.5 to 3 hours away, he moved for university and got a job in the area, if he had come back to our town he would have probably had a fairly long commute in a similar job.

Blueyismylife · 02/01/2023 16:39

I'm one of 4. Eldest sibling lives 15 mins from DM in one direction, I (second eldest) live 30mins in another direction, third sibling lives 2hr 40 away and fourth sibling lives 15 mins from DM in similar direction to myself.

User1785498 · 02/01/2023 16:42

Oh, we live in Northants, DS lives in Manchester, we are not upset about it as there is not so much work where we are and he seems very happy where he is

WhatDoYouWantNow · 02/01/2023 16:47

I've got 2 sons. One lives 20 minutes (about 8 miles) away, and the other is 1/4 of a mile away.

Original poster
lking679 · 02/01/2023 16:50

Thanks. Considering a move back up north but I think one of the downsides is my DC might end up moving quite far away. I’ve struggled being so far away from my parents with my own children. Didn’t see DD2 (even through a window!) until she was 8 months. And all births/recovery I’ve been on my own.
for my own happiness would like to leave south east and go back… and really can’t predict where my dc’s will live.
of my friendship group I’m probably furthest away. One in London, one in Birmingham, one in Manchester and others much closer.

OP posts:
BestIsWest · 02/01/2023 16:54

Both of mine are 50 miles away in our capital city. Both for work purposes. DD will probably stay there as her partner also works there. DS I think will move further away. I miss them but we are still close. Both were home for Christmas.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 02/01/2023 17:29

lking679 · 02/01/2023 16:50

Thanks. Considering a move back up north but I think one of the downsides is my DC might end up moving quite far away. I’ve struggled being so far away from my parents with my own children. Didn’t see DD2 (even through a window!) until she was 8 months. And all births/recovery I’ve been on my own.
for my own happiness would like to leave south east and go back… and really can’t predict where my dc’s will live.
of my friendship group I’m probably furthest away. One in London, one in Birmingham, one in Manchester and others much closer.

I wouldn't waste time worrying about something that you cannot possibly predict or plan for. Your DC could move away (or stay close) wherever you live. Make the decision based on what is best for you and your family now.

TellySavalashairbrush · 02/01/2023 17:31

40 minute drive away. She'd like to live closer but can't due to the cost of housing. We speak daily though.