If you have grown up children who don’t live with you….

[lking679]

If you have grown up children who don’t live with you… do they live far away and how far?

We grew up in north west and 4 out of 5 of us moved away for work. All over 3 hours drive away, only my brother who didn’t go to university stayed there.
At middle age some of us are making it back due to flexible working….

Do your children live far away? And do you mind?
Similar story with a lot of my friends from the area.

My only Dd and her husband live two hours away by car. I am divorcing and plan on moving close enough to her to be able to help out with her dogs and any future children she might have.

I didn’t have any family around to help out when I was younger, so I don’t want her to have to go through this as well, although she’s perfectly able to do this.

Although I have lived with my husband in the same place for 25 years, I have no qualms about leaving neighbours and friends behind. A lot of the friends live all over the uk anyway. I’m an introvert and more so as I’ve got older. I’d rather be close to my DD and her family. They both have jobs which stop them moving closer to me.

Both of ours live about 60 miles, an hour and a half’s drive away, and a 20 min drive from each other.

it wouldn’t occur to me to mind. My folks never lived near their own parents, and for several years dh and I lived an 8 hour flight from our families. Our folks just accepted it. TBH I hardly know anyone who’s always lived around the corner from their family.

DD is 24 and lives a good 4 to 5 hour drive away. Video calls are great.

I live 90 mins from my parents and my only sibling lives in Oz, so as far away as you can get.

my eldest daughter lives 90 mins from me and my youngest lives overseas, a 4 hour flight away.

all degree educated all Northern. I DREAM of us living near each other as goodbyes never get any easier

DS lives about 70 miles as the crow flies, but thanks to country miles and it being in the Hebrides, he’s pretty much six hours away from me.

Of my siblings I live closest to “home”, about 40 minutes from where I grew up. One lives elsewhere in the UK, one relatively close to me, and one on another continent.

We're in the NW, DD is southeastish - about a 4 hr drive. DH and my parents were south west (~3-5 hrs traffic dependent) and SE (5+ hours) ... yes, it's a pain but at this stage I don't mind it too much. May feel differently if DD has kids and as we get older but who knows where she'll be then.

Posting as an adult child.....I live on the other side of the world from my DPs. My sibling lives 1hr flight away from them. Off course my DPs would prefer I live in the same country but they told me to travel and persue my dreams. They would prefer I live away and be happy rather than move back home just to be closer to them.

I was thinking about living in the ‘now’ and just doing it but once I move think I’d have to stay to see kids through school which is 18 years so a bit of a commitment!

If my dc’s move elsewhere/south east in future we might move back (possibly down sizing at the same time). I do love London and have been here 15 years, but with three kids 5 and under our world is quite small at the moment! my sister back up north and cousins I’m close too are there just starting to try for a family. Plus it’s a nice area!

We live 20 mins away from my family and an hour away from DH's. I would hope my DS wouldn't move too far away in the future.

I’m originally from the NW. moved back for a couple of years after uni but now live 220 miles from my parents. My brother is about 30min drive from them. I moved primarily for work and have no desire to move back as I have a far better quality of life here.

I know hardly anyone who lives near their family. You go to university and either stay in the uni town or get a job absolutely anywhere. Then you might move once or twice again for work. Siblings do the same, so people get scattered all over. And parents might retire to coast/countryside/another country. It seems to me to be emotionally healthy not have everyone stuck in the same town and dependent on each other.

We live on the east coast of Scotland. Our DDs live in Leeds and London. So a fair distance. We manage to keep on touch and we see them 3/4 time a year.

Dcs live in London....I'm in the north...about 4 hours drive away. I moved around a lot in the 80s for work....normal for me not to live near family

Eldest when single lived abroad, second one offshore with a base here. They both married and settled here, both a five minute walk away. BUT they're both self employed. Youngest is in North Yorkshire, for the time being.

I AM the adult child, three of us, live in the NW too. I was away for uni for a few years then came back, neither of my siblings ever left. As adults in our twenties, me and one one other sibling both live within easy walking distance of our family home (and each other, although opposite sides), other sibling still lives with our parents in the family home. We are a close family and we grew up without any extended family nearby which I think is the key driver for us all wanting to stick around together, for ourselves, our DPs, and children (I have 2 and one sibling now has one on the way).