Describe the happiest person you know

[Arseulaundress]

What makes them happy? How do you know this is real contentment as opposed to Insta-fake happiness?

Me. I wake up content. And feel joy at the thought of nice, even simple things. I can cheer myself up with a cup of tea and a biscuit. Other people and their actions are their responsibility so that I don’t over think things.

I do know how the alternative feels, so am aware how lucky I am.

That's a great start, thanks! Have you always been this way, or worked towards it after therapy or other work?

I think on the whole I'm an optimistic person...but hopefully not in a jolly-hockey-sticks-everything-is going-to-be-alright-sort-of-way!

I'd describe myself as a weeble...I get knocked down but I am usually able to right myself. Some things take longer to 'right' than others but I have a core optimism that it won't always be this way. That doesn't mean I'm happy all the time. I guess it just means I have faith that things can always get better.

I don't know if that answers the question!

I'm pretty jolly. I'm very much glass-half-full. Am always surprised when things go wrong even when they frequently do. I always get a buzz from small things which probably helps.

I had an anxious childhood with a bit of deprivation and so I'm more grateful for small things that maybe people take for granted?

However when I get overwhelmed I totally change!

I'm not 'the happiest person I know' but I'm content despite some awful things having happened in my life. I think it's that inner contentment that is important, not being constantly jolly.
One of the people I know who appears always happy I realised after a few years is because she holds a lot of things inside.

I had an anxious childhood with a bit of deprivation and so I'm more grateful for small things that maybe people take for granted?

I was just pondering this! I think according to studies the happiest people are in some way ahead of their peers. So nicer home, better job, financially better off.

With a very poor childhood I wonder if I just feel very lucky for everything. I don't want more money, I don't want a bigger house or better car or better job. Everything I have is better than my childhood. I have mixed feelings about winning the lottery, it's not my dream. I once saw a five pound note on the floor and left it for someone else to find. 😂

I also love the small things. Marvelling at my clean sheets right now, thinking about getting a cup of tea and my one wish is for a hazelnut swirl (which I imagine going to buy, but won't, but the idea still makes me happy.)

Yep, me.

With situational events, I have been at desperations door but in general, I’m a very happy person.

I am fortunate to have experienced great luck and huge amounts of joy in my life to counteract the bleak and massively outweigh the sorrow.

I also think that I am somewhat numb to tragedy or bad things, I tend to not “feel” it to a degree and I think that aids pushing beyond it to the blue sky bit at the end of it. It’s how I have trained and programmed my emotions over the years.

Having experienced the horrific and unimaginable in my life, everything compared is just insignificant and really not worth my negative energy.
So I do tend to be on the kind of happy, cheerful and sunny side of the street much of the time.

Like for example, I’m genuinely delighted to see people, friends or family. Genuinely happy and glad to see them and be in their company, they interest and cheer me equally.
I thoroughly enjoy simple simple things like this morning, I saw a Robin in the garden and it made me smile for about an hour afterwards.

I take pleasure in most everything.

Lots of shit things that happened growing up. So it forces me to appreciate what I have. If I start to dwell, fret, worry, I have to pull myself out of it.

I don't know any shining happy people, we are all miserable grumpy buggers in my RL 😉 I feel happy or content inside but outwardly, to express feelings of happiness, well that would require energy I do not currently possess.

Always like this but did have a rough few years with mental health following 4 babies in 5 yrs and lockdown. Diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression. It was frightening but I responded well to treatment and am back fully to myself though still on low dose sertraline. But that’s how I can clearly see how happy I am now and was all my life.

An elderly relative who’s in their 90s. One of the old guard, grateful for what they have and hugely appreciative of the small things in life. Very forward thinking, has kept up with modern trends and so on. Currently unwell with a number of issues, but every time we speak, they tell me of the lovely carers they have, the friends who remember them, their pets, the birds they see from their window. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, what would X think about this? They’ve an excellent moral compass and I wish I could be more like them!

It’s probably an old lady in my craft group.
Unmarried, lives by herself in a ground floor flat round the corner from the town centre so that she is often either looking out of her window onto the street or chatting to people as she potters in her garden. During the day she runs errands for other old people and in the evening she sits in front of the tv knitting scarves for the Salvation Army. She never attempts anything more ambitious than a scarf or blanket but is always marvelling at how clever everyone else in the craft group is. She is actively involved in church and often cleans the brass. Goes for a lot of walks with friends, often via the ice cream parlour. No social media but constant social contact.
I feel I have learned a lot from her about how to live!

We have a friend that’s relentlessly chirpy. She finds everything hilarious and/or marvellous. She has a devoted, equally upbeat husband and 2 adult daughters who are also never seen without huge smiles on their faces.

We love her and hate her in equal measure.

I’m usually optimistic and upbeat, takes a lot to really get me down. I think partly luck but also the way I was brought up. My mum was very much of the mindset that we’re extremely lucky to jump out of bed every morning, anything else is a plus.

DH on the other hand was raised in a family with a very pessimistic, glass half empty attitude. “Just our luck🙁” kind of thing about everything. He’s had to fight this as an adult which isn’t easy.

Thankfully our DDs are more like me 🤣

I wonder if the people who would describe themselves as happy have a baseline of financial security? I mean no judgment btw but I think I'm generally a realistic optimist and can take joy in simple things around me, but my finances are so precarious and worrying at the moment, I feel unhappy most of the time.

I feel as though the ground is constantly shifting and I'm constantly anxious. I think it's very hard to be content and happy when your home and ability to pay bills are constantly threatened.

It'd be interesting to know if there are some constants that really contribute to chance of happiness. I know ability to weather change is one.

Comes from an extremely wealthy family and married an extremely wealthy man but I can honestly say she doesn't care about 'things' or appearances AT ALL. She is always either outside with her dogs or running, taking her children to activities or volunteering.
She loves reading and politics.
She is a lovely person and her kids are the most confident children I know.

The first person that sprung to mind when I read the OP is someone at work who is a breath of fresh air. She's always smiling, always chirpy and seems to see a positive in everything and everyone.

Her personal situation isn't easy either - she has a child with additional needs who goes to a special school and she has a disability herself (although you wouldn't know this from meeting and talking to her). However you never hear her complain or moan about either of these situations. She just embraces them and gets on with things with a smile on her face.

To the poster re financial security, I must say that I do have financial security so don’t worry about bills etc.
But having this financial security has exposed me to the horrific and awful so it has come at a heavy cost.

I came on to this thread to say “me” but, having read about some others, I have some way to go.

I’m generally happy and easy-going. Financially comfortable, fantastic husband whose very presence makes me happy, no major worries in terms of health/disability etc, absolutely love my house and am fortunate to be able to afford to heat it well/deal with repairs, have a close family, really good at entertaining myself so I’m never bored or miserable.

But reading this thread, I think I’d benefit from finding more pleasure in the small things. I don’t have many hobbies so would love to just be able to sit and knit/do a jigsaw. That’s a level of contentment I aspire to.

My youngest. She’s 16mo and at that stage where she’s realised that if she smiles angelically at her grandparents and says biscuit/banana/milk etc she gets whatever she wants. Always smiling, that child.

In all seriousness though, the happiest people always seem to be those who take enjoyment from simple things (e.g. bananas, as above). I’d love to have that kind of mindset.

It's hard to speak for someone else on this.

I'd say I'm pretty happy - I think one of the biggest reasons might be that I never compare myself to others. That seems to me to be a massive cause of unhappiness, but as far as I'm concerned it's just not possible to meaningfully compare yourself to someone else, so I've never felt the need to do so and I suspect I'm the happier for it.

I am loving these insight - absolute gold.

Common threads: pleasure in the small things, gratitude, cultivating (RL) community, financial security, being able to push through tough times knowing there are blue skies ahead...

But I did love this @DillDanding : We love her and hate her in equal measure. 😁

I think regular exercise and helping other people are probably also common to most people like this.

My dh, always has been happy. He doesn’t concern himself with things outside his control, just focussed on his life and his own self improvement. Optimistic and happy.

I’m a very happy person. I always have been since I was born. I don’t have any secret though, I think it’s just that I’m naturally optimistic. If I describe my life to a negative person they could tell you how awful my life has been but I like to see the good things that came from the bad.

As an adult I think I’m very, very lucky. Every day I think about how lucky I am and I thank whoever or whatever it is that has made me so lucky that I have the life I have. Again, I’d I described it to someone negative they could tell you how awful it is, but for me it’s perfect and amazing.

Maybe that is the secret to being happy, do whatever it is that makes you happy, even if other people see the negatives in it and always be grateful and thankful!