Please help - Scared for my daughter

[Bepis]

My daughter is 18 years old but she has special needs so is a lot younger in her mind. She has suffered with anxiety for the past 5 years or so, to the point where it stopped her attending school and she had to be under CAMHS. Her anxiety was mainly around people she didn't know and new situations.

The past couple of weeks have become so difficult and I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

I noticed her hearing things and she would say to me that her stepbrother swore, or I swore etc when that never happened. That went on for a while but now she is panicking if her sister is on the phone. Her sister will talk to her boyfriend in the evening in her room (they have separate rooms) but my eldest daughter is just flat out panicking about it and refuses to go upstairs. When I finally get her into her bedroom, she will not get in bed but just sits on her bed until 7/8 in the morning.

I tried laying with her this morning so she would get some sleep and she managed an hour or 2.

She's also started putting her fingers in her ears whenever someone talks. Not in a rude way but it's become a reaction. This is within the last couple of days.

She says she can hear her sister talking on the phone at 5/6/7 in the morning despite her sister being fast asleep.

She is also zoned out (I can't think of a better way to describe it). Like when I talk, it's like she doesn't understand me. She's also started whispering instead of using her real voice and is even starting to become non-verbal.

I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with her and I don't understand.

I took her to the doctors today and they prescribed Sertraline. She had her first tablet tonight. This seems like more than just anxiety though.

Has anyone else experienced this? Im scared and in tears.

My husband is helping me, we take it in turns watching my daughter but he can't do the stuff like changing her pants etc.

@Bepis

PLEASE take your daughter to A&E now. She needs urgent mental health assessment and treatment. She is suffering from some mental health crisis. That’s what they are there for. PLEASE don’t wait any longer go now 💐

Aw OP I don’t want to scare you but my cousin (19 at the time) went like this in 2014 after an episode of psychosis related to trauma. I feel so bad you’re being fobbed off by the professionals meant to help. I hope something gets sorted soon. I’ll try ask my aunt what they did for him to get diagnosed and treated. ❤️

@Bepis Hi there, plenty of us night owls at the moment eh? Call the Samaritans 116 123 it's free and confidential and they will help you.

I tried last night, they wouldn't take her in. I personally cannot get her there myself.

Yes I'm on night duty with her at the moment. She won't try and sleep even though her eyes look so heavy and red. She won't lay down so I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Bepis call them, and tell them what is happening. You will be so relieved I promise, they understand more than most.

I did last night. Had the paramedics out to the house but in all honesty, no one will do anything. Paramedics said because she won't communicate, A&E won't assess her.

@Bepis the Samaritans told you to call the paramedics?

Aw OP you’re an amazing mum. We’re all here for you, even through the night. Has she ever had anything like this before or has it just been the anxiety, the incidents with her dad and the kids banging the door?

@Bepis the Samaritans are a mental health helpline who are completely independent of any organisation and would listen to you rather than automatically suggest an unhelpful a&e visit.

Sorry no, I thought you meant about A&E. Apologies, I'm sleep deprived too so brain not working properly.

Thank you 🥺. She has had anxiety since 2018 but nothing to this extent. She always felt safe in her home and her room but she doesn't feel safe anywhere now, to the point where she won't even sleep. It seems to be a result of what those boys did as all comments she makes are in relation to that. I seriously could prosecute them for what they have done.

@Bepis it may be worth calling them and putting them on speaker so that your daughter could talk to them. They may ask you to give her some privacy/space so they can talk.

That's the problem, she won't talk to anyone. She's literally gone non-verbal. I haven't heard her voice for days, she just texts me or moves her mouth thinking I can understand her. She won't even talk to me ☹️

I might ask my dad for money to go private. NHS are bloody useless.

Sorry if I sound annoyed or frustrated but I just cannot believe how they leave someone in this state.

It does sound more complex than just general anxiety, especially given you saying she doesn’t feel safe in her own home anymore. It must be so awful, for your comfort to be made just as scary as the rest of the world. I can’t believe the ambulance looked at a woman who wouldn’t speak, with chest pains, incontinence and all of the above going on and said taking her in was pointless. You couldn’t make it up. I think unfortunately the only way to get any proper help with MH crisis’ at the minute is to go private. I know sertraline can take a while to kick in x

@Bepis ok, you have nothing to lose right now so please call 116 123 and let me know if they helped you. They've saved many people close to me so I'm genuinely trying to help you here.

I agree, I genuinely thought that they would have taken her in. I got her bag ready and everything. Even had my shoes on ready to go.

If I can just get her to sleep, I can deal with everything else but I'm really scared of her not sleeping and what harm it is doing to her.

I think I am going to have to ask for financial help and go private. I'm not getting anywhere with the NHS and they don't seem to be taking it seriously.

My son was similar to this and went mute and it took about a year before they would help and I had to make referral after referral. I kept getting he's not communicating so he's too severe. He's not suicidal or about to kill others, it's not an emergency. What eventually triggered help was saying I thought he was in psychosis and risk of death and bypassing gp and speaking directly to mental health. They said they have a loss of function emergency criteria. Non communicating can be assessed but he had to be assessed under a section in hospital. They also said they have a home treatment team including an early intervention in pychosis one. He has been assessed now as not psychosis but autistic catatonia but that left can be life threatening as they stop eating and drinking and stop moving or move frantically. Keep calling mental health and use word psychosis.

If you do this check drug interactions with current medications first. WebMD and drugs.com are good. You mentioned melatonin, I don't know the details of its status in England. It's not legal OTC here, I know a few parents of Autistic children who get it off iherb in the US. Again check interactions and ingredients list if you do this. What sedating antihistamine did the doctor recommended? There's a few very different ones, I've found some very effective and others do nothing.

I don't have any experience with psychosis if thats what is happening to her. I do know Autistic children can be more easily traumatized, if she is ND or has something like OCD or GAD the threshold for trauma could be very different to what you'd expect. Her Dad's recent actions may have trumatised her. My Autistic DC (much younger at least chronologically) have all had periods of being non verbal, never long so far, when overwhelmed. There are some good groups on FB if you're on where you could ask Autistic adults or parents of Autistic children if they can provide any advice on how to support her through this. It might not apply or be helpful, another avenue that may be worth exploring. Unfortunately you generally have to fight to get support when it come to SEN or MH conditions.

Besides getting antibiotics I would definitely leave the incontinence problems till later, as you mentioned doijg, she doesn't have the ability to deal with anything else right now. She's overwhelmed, the less she has to cope with the better. I would personally close the blinds, but I have no professional or otherwise experience with this, just that when my anxiety or pain are high or when my hypersensitive eyes are sore I go through periods of closing the blinds and it helps me. When I'm struggling I'll lie down, light off, blinds drawn, but door open so not in complete dark and half watch a very familiar show, nothing new, nothing emotionally challenging. I eat familiar bland foods, not my normal diet, tastes get super intense when I'm stuggling. The less inputs, the less sensory things I have to deal with the better. My DD can't cope with questions or choices when her anxiety is bad, even the completely mundane like do you want cereal or toast, even are you hungry or thirsty can overwhelm her.

Its unbelievably hard, but she has one thing that can make a massive difference, she has a loving supportive mum whose doing everything she can to help and it sounds like she has a great step Dad too. That may be part of the reason health professionals aren't concerned, it's a protective factor. Hospitalization absolutely has a place in mental health, especially if things worsen, but I honestly couldn't imagine anywhere worse to be when my anxiety and pain are bad. It's overwhelming sound and light and busyness and strangers. She may be exactly where she needs to be right now, surrounded by people that love and prioritise her and are fighting to get her what she needs.

I think, OP, I would be seriously tempted to phone 111 again and like the above poster said mention psychosis. My cousin went like this, mute, when he did speak he’d mumble, pacing, wouldn’t drink, wouldn’t eat, obsessively checking windows and doors etc. The no sleep would be ringing alarm bells towards psychosis for me I think, in the short term it won’t be physically harming her but the fact she’s awake for days despite being given medication to treat insomnia does hint there’s something abit off. I hope you get her sorted soon bless her heart.

Another one saying you should mention psychosis. My BIL exhibited similar behaviours. He's autistic and has psychotic episodes. He's on anti psychotics which make him really drowsy and help him sleep. Really hoping you get the help you need - with him, it took a section to get him in the system properly

I'm wondering if telling her you will stay awake and watching over her while she sleeps might help. If a heavy blanket helps you could try a heavy hug, or rhythmic patting, my youngest likes his head patted when he can't sleep. Would she rest her head on your shoulder part reclined she might sleep a bit.

I've had trouble with A&E before became DD goes non verbal, they wouldn't believe how much pain she was in, wouldn't run tests. Luckily we do have a good GP who was happy to order the test DD needed based on what I told her and test came back positive for the exact same thing I thought and A&E refused to believe because she would have been in lots of pain. The non verbal thing sucks.

She's asleep!!!! Finally!! What finally worked was me putting my arms around her fully so it's like a tight hug. She has her head laid on me and she's finally gone.

I darent breathe or move.

She keeps jerking in her sleep but that's an anxiety thing as I've had it too before.