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Original poster

Please help - Scared for my daughter

512 replies

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:33

My daughter is 18 years old but she has special needs so is a lot younger in her mind. She has suffered with anxiety for the past 5 years or so, to the point where it stopped her attending school and she had to be under CAMHS. Her anxiety was mainly around people she didn't know and new situations.

The past couple of weeks have become so difficult and I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

I noticed her hearing things and she would say to me that her stepbrother swore, or I swore etc when that never happened. That went on for a while but now she is panicking if her sister is on the phone. Her sister will talk to her boyfriend in the evening in her room (they have separate rooms) but my eldest daughter is just flat out panicking about it and refuses to go upstairs. When I finally get her into her bedroom, she will not get in bed but just sits on her bed until 7/8 in the morning.

I tried laying with her this morning so she would get some sleep and she managed an hour or 2.

She's also started putting her fingers in her ears whenever someone talks. Not in a rude way but it's become a reaction. This is within the last couple of days.

She says she can hear her sister talking on the phone at 5/6/7 in the morning despite her sister being fast asleep.

She is also zoned out (I can't think of a better way to describe it). Like when I talk, it's like she doesn't understand me. She's also started whispering instead of using her real voice and is even starting to become non-verbal.

I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with her and I don't understand.

I took her to the doctors today and they prescribed Sertraline. She had her first tablet tonight. This seems like more than just anxiety though.

Has anyone else experienced this? Im scared and in tears.

OP posts:
SpeedReader · 05/02/2023 14:38

"I wouldn't leave A&E with just a leaflet", "@Bepis has not been following my advice"...

Another vote in favour of those being critical of the OP to bugger off.

I have been following this thread since @Bepis 's first post on 31 December. The suggestion that she hasn't escalated her concerns the right way is completely unfair. It's the health system, not the bloody freemasons - you should not have to know the secret handshakes and code words to get help.

Over the last month, the OP has approached numerous services for support, multiple times. She should not have to take her daughter to A&E in order for these issues to be dealt with. This shows a failure of other services (GP, mental health crisis teams, etc). This is a structural problem, not a personal failing of the OP.

Maybe it is just one night of good sleep - but perhaps let's just let @Bepis enjoy the moment?

@Bepis , I really hope you can ignore all those making nasty comments. It is clear to the rest of us that you are doing your best in truly awful circumstances.

Hairyfairy01 · 05/02/2023 20:45

How did it go today OP?

Original poster
Bepis · 06/02/2023 16:58

Hairyfairy01 · 05/02/2023 20:45

How did it go today OP?

Hi, the Intensive Support Team visited her yesterday at home to do an assessment and get her the right help. They made an urgent referral to a Psychiatrist who will come and assess my daughter at home and then get on the road to a diagnoses and the right medication for her.

My daughter is a lot calmer on the Diazepam and the IST came out today with another prescription for Diazepam to keep her going until the Psychiatrist can see her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bepis · 06/02/2023 16:59

I will reply to other posts shortly, thank you all for your support.

OP posts:
saraclara · 06/02/2023 18:39

I've only been lurking until now, but I am so relieved for you that finally people are coming out to your home and recognising what is happening with her.

I'm lucky enough not to be able to imagine the reality of what you've been having to manage, and my heart goes out to you and others on this thread (even the poster who was being very unpleasant to you, hopefully only due to her own stress) who are dealing with the same thing. Wishing the best for you all and for your DCs.

kateandme · 06/02/2023 22:44

keep following up @Bepis they will not do this unless you tackle them to do it. keep on their tails.daily.more than.
diazapam is ok for the short but very very bad for them to keep subscribing

Hairyfairy01 · 06/02/2023 23:11

It sounds like things are going in the right direction OP.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 07/02/2023 07:28

A massive (and definity not meant to be condescending in the least) well done @Bepis

@SpeedReader I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you for wording your message so eloquently and succinctly - so much better than how I would have worded it.

Bibbling · 07/02/2023 08:13

@Bepis Well done on getting this far. We found with my DB that short term diazapam use was good for some rest but stay on them to provide the follow up care.

Quite often initial medication can be quite heavy and have very strong side effects. It’s important to keep advocating for reviews until you get the right medication for your DD. My experience was that they were willing to leave my DB almost catatonic if we weren’t kicking up a fuss

kateandme · 07/02/2023 12:06

Bibbling · 07/02/2023 08:13

@Bepis Well done on getting this far. We found with my DB that short term diazapam use was good for some rest but stay on them to provide the follow up care.

Quite often initial medication can be quite heavy and have very strong side effects. It’s important to keep advocating for reviews until you get the right medication for your DD. My experience was that they were willing to leave my DB almost catatonic if we weren’t kicking up a fuss

Yes.this is a real problem.and awful.its why family or someone advocating for the sufferer is absolutely key because mental illness support is devastatingly dire.

Bibbling · 07/02/2023 12:36

Isn’t it though @kateandme . I can’t imagine what happens to someone who is all alone

kateandme · 08/02/2023 03:13

Bibbling · 07/02/2023 12:36

Isn’t it though @kateandme . I can’t imagine what happens to someone who is all alone

yes or with families that themselves dont feel able to literally rage and stamp their feet. so many families are basically gaslit themselves into backing down and just "trusting" the proffessionals. who are the ones often harming their kids.
and lets not get started on adult care!

Original poster
Bepis · 14/02/2023 08:30

So much has happened.

Currently sat in hospital, my daughter has finally been admitted. Had to be sedated. Poor little thing.

OP posts:
Bibbling · 14/02/2023 08:41

I’m sorry to hear that @Bepis . I am sure that a lot of trauma has passed to get you to this place but I hope that, like my brother, this is the road to recovery.

liveforsummer · 14/02/2023 09:01

Bepis · 14/02/2023 08:30

So much has happened.

Currently sat in hospital, my daughter has finally been admitted. Had to be sedated. Poor little thing.

Thank goodness- for the hospital I mean not that she's got so bad. Fingers crossed this is the start of recovery rather than just trying to mask it and hope it goes away

Original poster
Bepis · 14/02/2023 09:51

It was horrific what I witnessed last night. I don't ever want to see it again. The state she was in, we had to force her out of the house. Police had to be called as she was getting violent because she was so terrified. At A&E she wouldn't move rooms and had a major breakdown when they tried to move her. In the end she had to be sedated with an injection of lorazepam. She's nice and relaxed now and fast asleep on the ward.

OP posts:
rainbpwcupboards · 14/02/2023 11:07

Sorry but I think the care you've received so far has been absolutely shocking. I hope she finally gets the right care and treatment now

Original poster
Bepis · 14/02/2023 11:20

rainbpwcupboards · 14/02/2023 11:07

Sorry but I think the care you've received so far has been absolutely shocking. I hope she finally gets the right care and treatment now

I completely agree with you. I wanted her being admitted to hospital right at the start of all this and then we wouldn't have got to this point.

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 14/02/2023 16:21

So sorry your daughter and your family all are having to go through this, it’s horrible seeing it, my own Mum had to be sectioned a few times from when I was 5 years old. I still remember going to see her and it’s still upsetting, but it’s the right thing for your daughter to get the help she desperately needs.

kateandme · 14/02/2023 18:16

Oh @Bepis I'm so very sorry.
I am saddened.but even more sad that I'm not shocked that you've had to get 6 ft below rock bottom to be even treated.this is where our fucking mental illness help is at. And it's disgusting.
Just don't take any of that on though ok. Your not alone in being left like this.and it's nothing you have or haven't done regarding getting help.
You've been a Ray of light to that girl.
I guarantee she would not have lasted as long without you.
And I promise your love will be a huge part in what gets her well.
It won't beat you @Bepis I promise.
It does not get your dd either.she can do this.she can.

Hairyfairy01 · 14/02/2023 18:48

I think Kateandme has said I was going to. Sadly not surprised but so sorry it had to reach such a crisis point. I hope your dd gets the help she so desperately deserves. I hope you are able to take some time to re coup a little as well.

HazardaGuest · 14/02/2023 20:08

It really doesn’t surprise me this has happened. You weren’t taken seriously/believed when there were early signs.
The good thing is she is now sleeping, which is one of the building blocks of recovery. She is also in the right place to be treated, diagnosed if appropriate and then get her life back.
Take the opportunity to do some self care, you have been through the mill.

LibrariansGiveUsPower · 14/02/2023 20:34

Massive hugs. I’ve only just stumbled upon your thread, but right from your first posts it sounded very similar to a dear friend of mine with paranoid schizophrenia when we were in our late teens. She was so much better when they got the right diagnosis and medication.

I really hope she gets the right diagnosis and treatment.

HazardaGuest · 14/02/2023 21:14

There are lots of possible diagnosis, it could be a one off episode.

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 14/02/2023 22:48

I thought you were having a psychiatrist visit the house? Who called the police?

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