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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

People that document their life on SM

76 replies

shesadramaqueen · 30/12/2022 21:25

So I admit I'm not overly a big user of social media but I do have it, mainly to book hair appointments and the like but I have one girl that I worked with about 15 years ago who literally lives out her entire day through her 'stories' she's stunning, great job and lives an incredible life but I find it so tone deaf at times I mean she has had about 20 foreign holidays this year ( honestly) and is always posting about eating in the most expensive restaurants ( with her moet and Chandon) it fascinates me and I love watching her stories but I think im supposed to be incredibly jealous... surley that's her intention? Making the nobodies like me envy her lol!
( maybe I do a little) but isn't bit such a show off things to do??

OP posts:
LoveAutumnColours · 31/12/2022 10:56

We have family/friends that live abroad, as do we. SM is a way we keep in touch and share what we’re doing, share photos, engage with one another. I particularly use it as a shared photo album.

if people don’t want to keep in touch in that manner, then they’re free to never add us, unfollow or unfriend us.

why would you connect with someone on SM if you didn’t want to know about what they post? It is your choice to view or not.

FlorenceOrTheMachine · 31/12/2022 10:59

erikbloodaxe · 30/12/2022 21:45

She's doing it for validation because she's insecure. That is all.

I do hate amateur psychology of this sort, especially when expressed with utter certainty as it is here (generally a good indicator of a lack of critical faculties). One thing that I think probably can be expressed with certainty is that you have absolutely no idea of the motivations behind the social media posting habits of this individual. How could you? You don't know the content (or context) of what she posts. You don't know how often she posts. You don't know what platforms she posts on. You don't know anything other than the impressions of a third party who hasn't met her in fifteen years.

Perhaps look up "Dunning Kruger" and have a bit of a think before you start drawing definite conclusions based on the flimsiest of data. Obviously you won't, but at least I tried. You're welcome.

threeowlsonashelf · 31/12/2022 11:01

It's hard to see other people living the luxury lifestyle if you can't afford it. It's good though that you are aware of your own sensitivities and insecurities. Perhaps a bit of therapy can help with the conflict you have between being humble and discreet and externalising your issues onto effective strangers' online activities and projecting thoughts and motivations onto them that more likely reflect your own thoughts about yourself. 2023 could be the year to get a handle on the issues!

Lullabies2Paralyze · 31/12/2022 11:02

I think a lot of them do it because they believe some talent scout will pick them up and they will become an “influencer” and get paid and free stuff etc.

I don’t think they actually do it to make the “common” people feel jealous but rather for their own self esteem.

I know a girl who changes her WhatsApp profile pic about 10 times a day, always to a very posed picture (she must have some friend who is really nice to actually take all these photos of her walking away or posing on a balcony in a bikini). I know she’s often single so I assume she uses WhatsApp similar to tinder 🤣

LlynTegid · 31/12/2022 11:10

Some posting on social media is a lovely advertisement for burglars or others who want to do harm.

Brefugee · 31/12/2022 11:15

Some posting on social media is a lovely advertisement for burglars or others who want to do harm.

that will depend entirely on their privacy settings.

Undoubtedly some try to create "content" in the hope of becoming an influencer. And why not? they could make good money that way.

What you see on social media es entirely and completely up to you. Don't like what they put on Insta? unfollow. Don't agree with their Twitter ranting? unfollow, and block so that you really don't run the chance of seeing their posts if someone you follow "likes" them
Don't like their facebook posts? Unfriend.

People should stop being so judgy and prescriptive about how other people live their lives.

DuplicateUserName · 31/12/2022 11:34

jesseastmids · 31/12/2022 10:40

I don't get it ! It's just showing off but surely it makes people dislike them? Who wants their friends to dislike them ?

Why would you dislike your friends for keeping an online diary that they're not forcing you to look at?

Very strange.

gemblondie · 31/12/2022 11:43

I think social media is great if you use it in a normal way.
As the OP has described, this is someone who clearly uses it all the time and is showing an addiction to posting their life. That's not good.

DuplicateUserName · 31/12/2022 11:49

gemblondie · 31/12/2022 11:43

I think social media is great if you use it in a normal way.
As the OP has described, this is someone who clearly uses it all the time and is showing an addiction to posting their life. That's not good.

It might be good for them though and just what they need? I don't think it's for us to say really.

What clearly isn't good , is the way the OP is letting this woman's posts affect her. Especially since she hasn't even worked with her for 15 years.

shesadramaqueen · 31/12/2022 11:55

Just to add of course it's lovely to see stories of peoples kids, pets etc and posting about normal stuff again is perfectly what's expected it's the complete 24/7 posting each time they are doing something over indulgent like picking up the brand new £100k car, all the designer clothes bought with price tags on show, all the first class flight tickets to luxury holiday 5* destinations, the VIP booth in the hard to get into restaurants. I have hundreds of people on my FB and this is the only person that posts in this way. I just don't really understand why EVERYTHING needs to be posted but honestly I'm not being nasty I just fin

I except that I'm the weird one though lol

OP posts:
IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 31/12/2022 11:57

Low self esteem I expect. My social media output goes up when I'm feeling fragile and need some external validation.

notacooldad · 31/12/2022 11:57

For a few years my friend was initially bed bound and then housebound due to a chronic illness. She doesn’t have children but a large extended family that are scattered throughout the country. Her husband is working all day. For a long time she documented everything. She posted her thoughts and opinions and played fb quiz games. I know ex colleagues got bored with her postings but it was fantastic for her. I made sure I liked as much as I could and commented on things so that she was having interaction with the world outside her four walls.
no judgement from me how people use sm as long as it’s not used to spread hate and fear.

bibbif · 31/12/2022 12:06

People who do this say it's about keeping a "diary" or they like to see what their friends are doing. But of course there is a element of showing off & insecurity. In the same vein posters who keep clicking on their photos are often nosy, jealous & intrigued by it.

bibbif · 31/12/2022 12:08

". I do it as a diary and journal. I lost my dad very young and have nothing of him, no photos or items. If I had been able to watch him on SM, see his pictures, his words, the songs he and chosen, his likes and dislikes etc… oh would be a gift. So mine is to my kids. It’s a love letter to myself and them. It’s not for you or anyone else and however you feel about it is yours to own, not your friends"

You do save this somewhere else though too? Once uploaded to SM it's their content not yours & fb or whatever may not be the same or even exist in decades to come.

bibbif · 31/12/2022 12:14

That is what social media is for, making people feel connected.

of course it isn't! that's just how it's sold to you.

TeapotTitties · 31/12/2022 12:17

shesadramaqueen · 31/12/2022 11:55

Just to add of course it's lovely to see stories of peoples kids, pets etc and posting about normal stuff again is perfectly what's expected it's the complete 24/7 posting each time they are doing something over indulgent like picking up the brand new £100k car, all the designer clothes bought with price tags on show, all the first class flight tickets to luxury holiday 5* destinations, the VIP booth in the hard to get into restaurants. I have hundreds of people on my FB and this is the only person that posts in this way. I just don't really understand why EVERYTHING needs to be posted but honestly I'm not being nasty I just fin

I except that I'm the weird one though lol

I have hundreds of people on my FB

And she's the attention seeker? 😂

Have a word with yourself and perhaps look at what you can do with your own life in 2023, that makes you less bitter about others.

DuplicateUserName · 31/12/2022 12:20

IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 31/12/2022 11:57

Low self esteem I expect. My social media output goes up when I'm feeling fragile and need some external validation.

I still think the OP's self-esteem is far lower than this woman's.

She's enjoying her life and documenting it on her own SM.

The OP is so eaten up by it, she's looking to strangers on SM to validate her bitter feelings.

I know which woman I'd rather be.

UWhatNow · 31/12/2022 12:26

I can kind of get why narcissists and those who need constant validation feel that they’re ‘posting for the fans’, but it’s the sheep that slavishly follow them and feed these dull, shallow people with all the likes that baffle me. Just don’t encourage them. Live your own life.

Branleuse · 01/01/2023 19:28

Jennybeans401 · 30/12/2022 22:43

@BagOfBollocks I'm just trying to point out the fact that a lot of sm is very fake. No one is going to put all the mundane, dull things on there.

Of course they dont. People generally post the good stuff. Pics of their kids smiling. Not the shitty nappies.
Pics of their holidays, but not when theyve been crying over something awful.

Youre viewing peoples edited best bits.
That doesnt mean everything is perfect for them, nor does it mean they want you to feel jealous.

Bicurator · 01/01/2023 21:14

bibbif · 31/12/2022 12:14

That is what social media is for, making people feel connected.

of course it isn't! that's just how it's sold to you.

🤭 Ok

cammie · 01/01/2023 21:34

shesadramaqueen · 30/12/2022 21:32

It's very strange and it irritates me that it's so blatantly done to me people envious of her. I find that a bit of a dick head thing to do- especially when most people
Are struggling atm

I always find this such a weird comment.

People have always been struggling. So you've NEVER posted a photo of your holiday? Do you think that was a dick move?

And do you think it's a dick move if anyone is positing a photo of their holiday? As I said, people struggle every day, all our lives.

Also, I bet if you had her lifestyle you'd be posting on Instagram a lot more. I've seen this a million times.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 01/01/2023 21:41

I doubt it's insecurity. I share photos I want to keep as a sort of diary. I don't care who views them.
It's very easy to hide or unfollow people on social media if it's bothering you 😉

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 01/01/2023 21:47

shesadramaqueen · 30/12/2022 21:32

It's very strange and it irritates me that it's so blatantly done to me people envious of her. I find that a bit of a dick head thing to do- especially when most people
Are struggling atm

So what people are struggling? Not everyone is and people can still enjoy their lives without having to think about upsetting others. You sound jealous and quite bitchy.

Liuckle · 01/01/2023 23:13

The sheer arrogance of presumed psychology

Actually some people post more when they are feeling happier or more confident. A lot of people don't post because they don't like themselves in photos etc So you can't presume increased posting is due to insecurity

I post quite a lot. I like to show the good things in my life because I'm successful and I worked hard for it. I don't have parents or family to praise me or share my success.

TheLostNights · 01/01/2023 23:17

Know a few like this. I just mute it when it gets too much